Tag Archives: Teal Swan

There is No Secret Ingredient :) – Self Love

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Sargam Self Love

The easiest way to practice spirituality in every day life is to love yourself. SELF LOVE is the new Prayer, a new Mantra , a new Meditation ”

When I was  in my 2nd grade that is the time I remember I used to have so much fun looking myself in the mirror I could just be standing and looking my self for hours, making different hair styles, looking at my smile and making lots of faces 🙂 I also loved crying in front of the mirror and would smile seeing how I looked so beautiful even when I cried 😉

I was my own personal favorite 🙂 and always treated myself special but somehow it was hard for my friends to understand this act of self love,  and they thought I was not humble. Gradually I learned that it was not good to tell people if you were good at anything upright as it was considered as being proud or boastful. I saw my parents rarely speaking about our accomplishments in front of us as they feared we would be flying on clouds of pride. Appreciation was rare and if some family/ friends complimented we would deflect the appreciation or shy away.

As I grew up I lost touch with the “self love” aspect and gradually it manifested as a self negating internal conversation of “I am not as good as xyz, her hair was better than mine, her grades are better, she sings better than me”. This constant negative self talk resulted in weight gain, dull complexion and poor self image. I started meeting people who reassured I am not so good and need to really work on my self physically and emotionally.

Even in my relationship I had tough time proving my worth 😩  but with time gradually I realized it was nothing to do with others but it was a reflection of my own thoughts and my own poor self image. In life we are all faced with tough situations testing times and if you instead of feeling victim of the external situations, you are able to look within and introspect you will understand how these people and situations are only a reflection . Thanks to my calling of Pranic Healing that helped me restore my faith in me 🙂 it made me believe I AM SPECIAL !!

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From Buddha to the Hollywood actor Johny Depp has spoken about how important it is to love your self. A person who cannot love himself or inflicts himself/herself of pain is responsible for inflicting pain to others. If you love yourself you will understand and appreciate the individuality of others ; you will be able to respect and appreciate others with an open heart.

We live our life thinking our selves to be average and keep looking for some secret ingredient to make us special without realizing that the secret ingredient was always with us 🙂

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Self Love helps us connect with our own self and trust me when I write this I write out of experience , the first time I stood in front of the mirror dropping all judgement about me and looked into my eyes there was so much I wanted to say to my self. There was so much love , so much acceptance I had deprived myself of. I had feared been alone by myself and I was just craving for someone else to love me, approve me, compliment me. After a couple of minutes there was this knowing that I was not just what I could see in the mirror I was so much more and it was a big revelation. I just silently promised I will again bring back that child in me. I am Special and I did not need an assurance or approval for thinking this.

I know most of us have been in situations where we do not have time for ourselves, we are too busy in caring and loving others waiting for them to love us but if we continue this for a long time we will become emotionally bankrupt. Self Love is the way to maintain your bank balance of love.

Some quick questions to check your Self Love Quotient

1. Can you take up compliments with gratitude without deflecting them? Yes

2. Do you feel people who speak about their accomplishments are boasting? No

3.Can you spend time with yourself alone? Yes

4.Is your conversation with self something negative (comparative/self hating/fault finding)?? No

5.Can you see your self in the mirror and smile n feel happy or you feel sad? Yes

 

If your answers are opposite to what are written then you need to work on your Self Love quotient 🙂

Tips to Cultivate Self Love

1. Pay Gratitude (maintain a gratitude journal for the little things you like about yourself)

2. Smile whenever you see the mirror n give a mental compliment

3.Go out alone and treat yourself

4.Pursue a passion

5. Develop a positive self talk habit

In the world where we teach humility and encourage to keep our happiness on least priority ; Self Love is the only savior – Love Sargam

self-loving teal

 

 

Are Your Relationships Suffering Because of Family Karma?? Read On…

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Relationships are a great way to learn life lessons; whether you decide to stay in a relationship or move on is your personal choice but the best thing is to learn your life lesson than changing partners because the more you avoid the lessons the tough it gets 🙂

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As a soul we choose our life experience , so we choose our parents and family member to help us learn and evolve as a person. Each member of the family has a karmic responsibility towards other family members to help them workout the unhealed aspect of their soul. So a bullying brother/ an abusive father/cranky mother or a lazy sister all are grouped together in a family. The universe works in macrocosm and microcosm. At human level the Karma/ learning starts from an individual, then there are family learning, then every place/area/city/state/country/continent has its own karma/learning and it expands to planets and solar systems.

So souls born in Africa/ Afghanistan chose these places as their birth place to go through a life experience based on the Karma/learning they wanted to go through.

Every family has a neural encodement that is passed on from child to parents with certain ideals and beliefs. You are automatically subjected to a thinking pattern/beliefs and ideals along with your own soul encodements. So you assess the world based on these encodements part of your neural patterns the aspects where they both are aligned there is a feeling of belonging and where there is non alignment between your soul and family neural patterns you face conflicts. These conflicts have a higher purpose to serve in your expansion. For e.g you chose to learn a lesson on Trust and Love . To understand what is  love and trust you will be faced with the absence or lack of these emotions so you choose to be born to parents who were constantly under conflict based on trust issue and it resulted in an unhealthy childhood and a longing for love. Bybeing close to your family members you will pick up certain patterns in your subconscious which will mean love and trust to them.So if spending money was a way of showing love you will understand love through money, if helping household work was a way of showing love you will pick up service as love.

 

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These subconscious pattern will lie dormant till you meet with triggers in your life , if there is an unhealed aspect of love and trust they will act as magnifying glass. So they will keep challenging your learning till you get aligned to your higher soul.

Most of the times when you end up in a relationship your subconscious will keep on picking signals of distrust from your childhood experiences. So if you will see anything that closely resembles the childhood experience you will react on impulse. This can make your relationships suffer and even end painfully. The thing you have to understand that the reactions that you pick from family are not applicable to the current relationship at all. They are just picked from your family conditioning which was 20 -30 yrs old or even 50-100 yrs based on the fact that your parents picked from theirs and so on….

Most people find it tough to alter their conditioning and continue to react based on their family conditioning this has actually lead to unhappy marriages/ divorce (not saying the only reason for divorce but this is one of the reasons) Now you must be wondering what is the life lesson and what can be done??

Here are 5 steps :

1. Reflect Your Family Tree 

If there is a recurring pattern in the family e.g grand parents had a distanced married life, parents were brought up by a distressed parent insecurity/attention seeking attitude will be passed on to the parent (father/mother) the parents will repeat these behavior and the child will pick up the patterns and will judge his relationships through the pain of grandparent/parents (this can go beyond two generations)

2. Observe your Current Relationship

Check if your conditioned mind is dominant during danger situations 🙂 Danger is anything that your parents could not face; anything that triggered their reactivity. Because when your caregivers are reactive they’re not able give you care.Are you facing dangers?? If there is a pattern just question

i) What that situation means to you

ii) Why is it so bad?

These questions will help you understand whether the reaction is external or an area you need to work on

3. Check for Repetitive Emotional Drama

A repetitive drama can be due to an expectation based on how things should be based on your family conditioning/neural patterns. Now understand one thing your family conditioning and the person you are involved can have a different family conditioning and hence can cause a conflict too. e.g for you intimacy is a danger as your parents used it against each other but for your partner’s parents it was a fulfilling experience. So there will be an emotional drama from your end.

4. Liberate Yourself from Emotional Instability

Once you understand that you are dominated through your family conditioning which can be as old as 100 yrs or more you do not have to apply it to your relationship. Liberate yourself from emotional instability.

5. Forgive and Cut Cords

These experiences are learning at soul level so once you identify them do a forgiveness for your family members and ancestors and cut chords so that you are able to act from your higher self (buddha nature).

“Inner forgiveness gives you the ability to grow, to be free,
and it also gives you the opportunity to generate positive
karma.Inner forgiveness is therapeutic. If you do not forgive
you cannot be internally healed. Forgiving heals the soul.”

Forgiveness Exercise

Even a Straight Line on ECG means Dead….So is Life enjoy the ups and reflect and learn from your lows

But avoid unnecessary drama in your life because of something that you are not even aware 🙂

Lots of Love Sargam