Category Archives: Mindful Parenting

Feb26

Relationship Beyond Transactions

Posted on February 26, 2018 by Sargam Mishra

So we completed an amazing workshop of Enlightened Relationships in the month of Love. Once again as we concluded this workshop I was left with some thoughts on how everyday people create a recipe for dis functional relationships and then we spend our life looking for solutions. One of the biggest issues that I see among couples is their underlying silent contracts based on their transactions in love and manipulation to meet their needs. Before we deep dive let us understand what is a TRANSACTIONAL RELATIONSHIP?

A transactional relationship is a relationship where both (or all) parties are in it for themselves, and where partners do things for each other with the expectation of reciprocation. This expectation in relationships is underlying not verbally communicated or agreed , it is a kind of one sided contract with a one sided understanding. For example you being with your partner when he or she is unwell silently expecting he will be there with you too when you need him. If this does not happen you feel betrayed, let down. Silently you binded the person in a contract which he/she was not aware.

Anything done to a partner /relationship without unconditional love but in anticipation of reciprocation is like silently creating a one sided contract without mutual agreement.

"TERMS AND CONDITIONS" Tag Cloud (contract legal use button)

Almost all relationships start here. People tend to date a person because of what they get out of it. Doing otherwise would actually be kind of weird. Genuine concern for a partner’s well-being (some might call it “love”) is something that generally grows as the relationship progresses. But some relationships never get past the transactional stage.

The roots of this kind of relationships are sowed early in the childhood where as soon as a child is born the parents start binding the child in several one sided contracts. The child is invisibly attached to the strings where they are suppose to take care of the parent’s expectations to meet the parent’s needs of feeling loved, understood and respected. The child is manipulated to do what the parent’s feel is best for the child. This is often done by using love and acceptance as a tool. So parent’s can cut off the supply of love and acceptance if a child goes against their wishes.

child

Since child hood you are told what you need to grow up as, which subjects to choose, what to aspire for so that the parent’s can feel important in the society and most of the times money is spent on you so that they are sure that in old age you are indebted to take care of them. None of this is said this way, I know I sound tooo bad, but somewhere silently we create these silent contracts and feel deeply betrayed when our child decides to marry a girl of their choice. The child chooses a career that he /she is passionate about. The child scores low in college and the list is long.

When this child grows up he /she uses the same tactics to manipulate the partner in love. Because this is what he or she knows about love. The following equations can be seen in a transactional relationship.

Either meet people needs to be indespensable , the people pleaser attitude where a person has extremely low self esteem, low self love and self image and associates their worth from the love and appreciation they receive from their primary caregiver.
The Give in expectation of reciprocation this is a silent contract, a person gives up friends to give more time to the partner, silently expecting the other partner to do so. Pays dinner bills expecting you would do so in return. Gives you gifts so that he receives them too.
Buying love and loyalty by giving gifts or using money , silently binding people in contracts of obligation which they have never agreed to. I will pay for the house bills you take care of my physical needs a silent contract that is seen between couples where one is earning and the other is taking care of the house. Money can also be used to silently ensure the partner is silent to any discomfort /emotional/mental because using money they can shop and take care of their needs.
Not creating boundaries in a relationship so that the other partner also does not have any boundaries.

The birth of a chid is a privilege a gift that the parents need to unwrap by nurturing and raising the child in partnership , to help the expansion of the child and allow it to connect with their own talents and gifts. Instead most of the parents use children as means of achievement in the world. The trophy that they can project when they have to prove their worth.Not realising that when these children grow up they will repeat the same mistakes in relationships creating conditional love and manipulative connections. The subconscious contracts that we create with ourself and our parents become the basis of our intimate relationships. If you were yourself unhappy being in such a conditional parental setup do you think it can work in a love relationship where you have much more flexibility to step out?

Love has been misunderstood greatly in the world , it has been associated with transactions. Less than 5% people are fortunate to experience parenting by parents who were unconditionally giving. There is no doubt why most of the relationships issues happen over these subconscious contracts.

Conscious relationship contracts are still better, when you directly sit and decide on what are the expectations in a relationship and agree mutually on it. This way you clear out any one sided underlying expectations.

Business transactions are such a tedious process because both the parties have to clearly lay down the terms and conditions. If any one of the T&Cs are not acknowledged the party can file a lawsuit. In love relationships we are constantly creating subconscious terms and conditions without even asking the partner to buy in and we feel betrayed and let down in a relationship. Is this even justified? Can this ever guarantee happiness and a lasting relationship?

This can be undone by stopping ourselves from repeating the same patterns and Inner Child Healing is one of the best tools to help you heal.

Life is about BEING FREE from these subconscious contracts which do not serve your highest good. Love because you feel you are in love not because it will beget love. Be aware of your tendencies to manipulate people in order to meet your needs.

Love because it makes you feel amazing, do things that express your passion not because everyone is doing it. Create Relationships that challenge you, make you vulnerable, make you explore your own gifts, push you to your limits of love.

Not because you can manipulate them to get love. It won’t be fulfilling !

Nov30

Suicide ..Not An Escape From Life

Posted on November 30, 2017 by Sargam Mishra

Standard

Sargam Mishra Suicide Article.png Close to 800 000 people die due to suicide every year, which is one person every 40 seconds. Many more attempt suicide. Suicide occurs throughout the lifespan and is the second leading cause of death among 15-29 year olds globally.

Suicide is a global phenomenon; in fact, 78% of suicides occurred in low- and middle-income countries in 2015. Suicide accounted for 1.4% of all deaths worldwide, making it the 17th leading cause of death in 2015. There are indications that for each adult who died of suicide there may have been more than 20 others attempting suicide.

(Source:http://www.who.int/mental_health/prevention/suicide/suicideprevent/en/)

If you have experienced the pain of losing a loved one who committed suicide you can understand why it is so important to talk about it and spread awareness and discourage children and young adults to even consider this as an option in life.

The present wave of children that are incarnating are highly sensitive and emotional by nature. When born in a family or environment which does not seem conducive or in alignment with their expectation leads to disgust , resentment and depression.

I was asked to connect with an 18 year old boy from Maharashtra in July he had several issues with parents a very soft personality. I was asked to have a conversation with Mridul by a close family member , The background given was that he is in depression and was not interested in going to college as his self esteem was very low as he was not able to speak english. His father is an officer , alcoholic but was rarely around due to his transferable work. Mother a house wife but extremely dissatisfied in married life and quite superstitious and lots of fights between the son and mother.

I scheduled a video call with Mridul so that he could open up about his issues. As we saw each other on Video there he was smiling in front of me , he was expecting a very senior lady but seeing me smile he gave a huge smile in return ,I complimented Mridul for his smile and we burst into a laugh he was a bit hesitant and said ‘Didi Mujhe Bohot Gussa Aata hai’ (I Get Very Angry) and then I end up resenting the outcome of my anger… and we continued with our session I found him hesitant to divulge about his life initially but gradually it was a good session.

After we concluded the session I was reviewing our talk and was reflecting , children nowadays have a lot to deal with at an early age. With parents not being available, rise in divorce rates, issues with self image and confidence, fear of rejection, handling expectations and lots of competition. Children nowadays do not have the emotional cushion, when they are hit by harsh realities they do not have the strength to cope and their life is scattered.

I remembered a talk I attended in 2015 where Sadhguru was emphasising how the youth will need to be brought up consciously because they have access to all kind of information today , they also have access to means (money and resources) they can either make themselves up or will fall prey to drugs, pornography, addiction and depression causing nuisance in family and society and once they realise their mistakes can also commit suicide for lack of sense of self worth and purpose.

After the session we could only connect on watsapp , in September when I messaged him I got to know his father was ill and he was in hospital, last message I received in October on Dushera and he replied with a smiley. I left for my vacation and had not heard from him in a month… Yesterday morning I got a message that Mridul committed suicide. I was really struck and was resenting again and again I should have called him up….the only question haunted me WHY… WHY YOU DID THIS??

Your Life is THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF LIFE , the most amazing phenomena happening now! No person , no situation, no event is worthy enough of ending this life. When you allow life to flow through you , you are playing an important part in the web of the COSMOS.

THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO ALL THOSE PRECIOUS SOULS
WHO HAVE ALREADY CHOSEN TO END THEIR OWN LIVES AND TO
THOSE WHO ARE STILL WITH US BUT STRUGGLING WITH DARK AND DEPRESSIVE THOUGHTS AND CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE.

MAY THEY ALL FIND A REASON TO LIVE.

Suicide is actually the greatest living crimes one can commit.

Here is why:

Your Body Is Sacred , The body is the only means through which the spirit or the soul finds expression in the material world. It is our responsibility to take care of this body given to us by our parents and ensure we use it to the fullest potential. When we commit suicide we are only ending the body but the spirit lives and has to wait in the astral world for the time you were meant to live. This is a painful process because without the body , the soul cannot experience time and this wait seems to be like several 100 years. As the carnal desires of the soul were still not fulfilled and its existence was ended abruptly the soul longs to experience them but fails miserably. This is similar to living in hell , the soul goes through immense remorse and wait in the astral plane.

Although it seems an end of suffering , it actually is a beginning of far more greater misery and remorse. Ignorance is not a bliss , when we see such events in life our duty for becoming responsible and conscious parents increases manifold.

Unless we lay a strong foundation of character building and virtues for our children by practicing and living the teachings ourselves it will be very difficult to expect them to follow. A better world can only be created by our actions, words and thoughts.

This is my message to everyone out there who are thinking of committing suicide rethink about the potential of life which is reverberating within you. You are VALUABLE!!

Love Sargam!

Reference article “Suicide Is Not Death,” William Q. Judge (a close colleague of H.P. Blavatsky and co-founder with her of the Theosophical Society) expressed the matter like this:

“The fate of the suicide is horrible in general. He has cut himself off from his body by using mechanical means that affect the body, but cannot touch the real man. He then is projected into the astral world, for he has to live somewhere. There the remorseless law, which acts really for his good, compels him to wait until he can properly die. Naturally he must wait, half dead, the months or years which, in the order of nature, would have rolled over him before body and soul and spirit could rightly separate. He becomes a shade; he lives in purgatory, so to say, called by the Theosophist the “place of desire and passion,” or “Kama-Loka.” He exists in the astral realm entirely, eaten up by his own thoughts. Continually repeating in vivid thoughts the act by which he tried to stop his life’s pilgrimage, he at the same time sees the people and the place he left, but is not able to communicate with any one …”

Jun5

Conscious Parenting Series

Posted on June 5, 2016 by Sargam Mishra

Standard

“The best metric of child poverty may not have to do with income but with how often a child is spoken and read to.”

Amidst our hectic life style and a quest to chase our dreams we sometimes ignore our responsibility as a parent. Having very little time for communicating and playing with our children we find it easy to introduce technical gadgets to our children in their early years. This is the time when they are absorbing everything as a sponge. A child by age 4 will hear nearly a million words and more this is how he she will form their vocabulary and learn to express themselves. So every time you speak to your child you are giving them words and expressions to process which will become the foundation of their behavior.

It is important to raise awareness and my articles and counselling have been a medium. There are so many excuses we can hear and most of them feel it is difficult to keep the children away from the media and technical gadgets. This is actually true because we ourselves have indulged in them and life without TV and social media is impossible. We do not want to miss our favorite serials (daily soaps) or avoid listening to romantic and catchy numbers where lyrics are just not making any sense.

Raising a child is a conscious choice and a 20 year project at the minimum and once you have taken it up it is your duty to deliver it to the best you can. Most of us feel when babies are 0-6 months they do not understand what is happening. Instead the child is learning at a phenomenal rate daily , the brain activity is happening not only when they are awake but also during the REM (Rapid Eye movement) sleep time. They are constantly accessing the environment they are growing up in absorbing energies being emitted from all the people near them. They are sensitive to the oceans of thoughts and emotions in their environment.

Babies are like wet clay they have the potential to be anything but they are dependent on the environment set up by parents and the way we handle them plays a major role in their making.

Samaira with her book

Conscious parenting is a choice…a choice that we have to make everyday.

Dec29

Live An Intense Extraordinary Life – Letter to My Child

Posted on December 29, 2015 by Sargam Mishra

Standard

Live An Intense Extraordinary Life – Letter to My Child

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Kahlil Gibran

As I sit comfortably on my bed reminiscing these 38 weeks of togetherness, I am filled with immense love and gratitude for your presence. In a week I will be sharing an amazing creation with the world. You will have your own individuality and a beautiful life ahead. This feeling is gradually sinking in as we are progressing to the ‘D Day’. You and me ,we have spent beautiful times together and I am really grateful to all the support you have provided during this time to me. It has been one of the happiest pregnancy one could have experienced.

This journey of motherhood has been truly worth waiting for 🙂 As I look back on our journey through these 38 weeks it gives me a sense of fulfillment as 2015 is one of the most intense and eventful year of my life. I wanted to pen down my experience and this beautiful journey with you. Hence this blog it is not something I am writing for others but for us as my gratitude gift to you.

2015 started with an intense inner purification with January being a spiritual rejuvenation month, it was simply a wow month it started with a visit to Allahabad your grandparent’s place for the annual Magh Mela and a dip in the holy waters of Sangam , Gangaji ka bhandara and Arti. Then with immense excitement I proceeded to Varanasi and en route visited Sitamani and Vindhyavasini Devi before arriving Kashi for the annual Arhatic Retreat. The plan was to reach a few days in advance to visit Bodh Gaya, Sarnath and Kashi Vishwananth temple and witness the majestic Ganga Arti and various ghats by boat. The trip was phenomenal and manage to visit several temples including Kaal Bhairav Temple, Kashi Annapoorna Temple, Sankat Mochan Temple (for Nanu),Vishalakshi Temple, Tulsi Manas Mandir. This trip to Varanasi was one of the most intense travel experience of my life.

After this beautiful journey began the three days of annual Arhatic Retreat it was an amazing experience with more than 1200 meditators together for 3 days it was like a spiritual rejuvenation .

Jan 2015 was a perfect jumpstart to an eventful 2015. 🙂

Meditating under the Mahabodhi Tree (Gaya)

I had created a vision board for 2015 in September 2014 and when I reflect back I am amazed how beautifully things got lined up in 2015. March was a tough month emotionally during the Saturn period there was a lot of cleansing and letting go that happened. There were issues that had been pending for years and I was now looking for permanent solution.

A perfect way to get answers to life questions was attending 1008 Sharnagati practice I had done it earlier and decided to do it. It happens on 1st Tuesday of every month so I took an off from the office on 1st March. I really needed guidance and clarity for a specific situation.

5 hours of Sharnagati prayer helped in surrendering the issues to MCKS /God and here was guidance to take proactive action on pending situations. I kept getting signs that I was on track just like the Alchemist. Things got really sorted on my Birthday 6th March as if it was waiting for this day. Interestingly this year my Birthday and festival of Holi happened on the same day and yes it was a Full Moon this is first time ever in my life.

I am sure it was a planned turning point of my life as there are no coincidences. It created a beautiful foundation and thanks to your dad he really made it special. I could feel the warmth of my Sun period starting. 🙂

21st March 2015 was the auspicious occasion of Ram Navmi every year I look forward to Navratri and enjoy setting up the Devi altar at home. This year it was special on Day 1 after the havan there was a peculiar heart warming feeling and I was full of tears of Joy ; I had no idea why it made me feel so emotional to host the goddess at home the idol had a powerful aura and I could feel a deep emotional cleansing. Tears were just rolling down the cheeks it was Saturday and I was on my way to CR Park I called up your Nanu and told him about the emotional breakdown and explained it felt as if someone has actually come in the house.

The days of fasting were beautiful and then on the last day of Ram Navmi 28 March there was a pleasant surprise nearly 45 kids visited the house for Kanchak and they were all so happy eating prasad. I just smiled for this opportunity.

I always believed motherhood will be a life fulfilling event and that I should really be well prepared to take up this responsibility in the best possible way. In April I attended the much awaited class on ‘MCKS Achieving Oneness with the Higher Soul’ and got deeper insights into how a soul chooses to incarnate the class was fascinating.

Then in April end we had a wonderful opportunity to attend the‘Om Mani Padme Hum’ session by Sriram it was really amazing to understand one of my most favorite Mantra. This was also a good preparation for the mega event of the year Wesak.

Om Mani Padme Hum Session with Sriram

The meditation experiences were becoming rich and very peaceful 🙂 and there was a lot of purification and service happening for Wesak.

I felt someone with me for the first time when we meditated together on the auspicious occasion of Wesak Full Moon on 4th May 2015 as I was sitting in the meditation awaiting the descend of Lord Buddha in the valley of Shambhalla, I saw a Christ like figure giving me a golden baby I just thought it was my inner desire which was reflecting in my meditation, as at that point I had no clue we were together, the vision was very beautiful and it left a big smile on my face.

4000 Pranic Healers Meditating in Bangalore

You and Me Meditating in the Sacred Formation at the exact time of Wesak

Your presence was confirmed on a day that I will always cherish May 9th Mother’s Day and it was beautiful how your love and presence could be felt within. Such a beautiful gift to our family the news was welcome with smiles and tears of joy. You really made me feel special, the feeling of being a mother was priceless. I had fallen in love once again in my life , but with someone I had not seen , yet I was becoming so fond of you every day.

You have brought a lot of joy to our family, and how could your Nanu ,Masi and Mama miss this opportunity 🙂 so they all came down to visit us and we end up with another trip together after years.

We went Choki Dhani and then Vrindavan for a day trip and we did darshan at the Banke Bihari temple and Isckon temple at Vrindavan.

August 2015 was the time for our dream vacation to Greece, all the tickets were booked in March when we had no clue of your arrival, and there were some interesting activities planned. Greece was going through a financial crisis and it was not quite safe to visit specially with us only 3 months young. Your dad side of family was really apprehensive and wanted to cancel the trip. There was something within that kept us going we conducted a special 21 Day Prosperity Healing Event in July 2015 and conducted a special 21 Day blessings for Greece financial crisis and stability in the country.

Trip to Greece

By the grace of God the trip went extremely well , the people, places, they all left us full of gratitude. The trip had a spiritual significance and it unfolded when we visited Delphi it was quite a hectic trip specially 8 hours of bus journey and sun 🙂 on the second last day of the trip with both you and me tired was a feat, but we did it together. Here is the account of the experiences at Delphi.

Inner Conversations -Greek Sojourn ‘Know Thyself’

This year has been super fulfilling as you filled me up with many ideas to make this a year focused on service and spiritual growth. We could conduct multiple online event of healing and meditations. Relationship Healing, Prosperity Healing, Blessings for Greece Financial Crisis, This Diwali ‘Make A Wish’ and New Beginnings 2016.

There was an amazing review session with Acharya Hector on MCKS Kriyashakti in August and then we attended the Arhatic Bootcamp with Sriram and the MCKS Inner Teachings of Hinduism Revealed. This year was super fulfilling in terms of learning 🙂 I am sure you enjoyed it too.

I am so happy that you are already under the blessings and guidance of your spiritual grandfather Master Choa 🙂 we got so many opportunities to meditate , attend lectures on Master Choa’s teaching , Spiritual Sutras on Bhagvad Gita, and also visit the Pune Arhatic Ashram. I felt really blessed when we celebrated your Nanu’s 70th bday at Ashram and had a desire to be with you as well and in October 2015 during our 7th month together we could travel. It was an amazing incident at the airport when we were granted special permission to board the flight because of you as we were so late due to traffic.

Thanks to all the love and blessing of the masis and nanis during our stay who made this visit possible it was a beautiful experience. The meditations were blissful and intense.

You and Me Meditating Together at The Arhatic Yoga Ashram

People say you are a blessed child to be a part of us but I truly feel we are blessed parents to have you as part of our life . You have been an extra motivation to walk the spiritual path and I know this is going to continue now as I have a guide and companion in this journey.

Full Moon Meditations At Sathya Sai Auditorium

Your baby shower was planned on 26th of October, Full Moon this ceremony marks the descend of the soul and it became a historic moment for all as the moment your grandparents did the ritual and blessed us the entire building was shaking due to earthquake of magnitude 7.5. It was one of the most powerful earthquake in 2015. Some coincidences are hard to explain but they leave you thinking.

7th Month Blessing Ceremony Sargam Mishra

Papa and Us just before the Earthquake 26th Oct 2015

This year I had an agenda to meet a living Guru and wanted to meet Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev but somehow it could not work out but then this year was a year of wish fulfillment and on 1st December Sadhguru visited Delhi and we could make to the event. Sitting in the Aura of an enlightened being is an experience. Hope you enjoyed it too Thankyou!

Several Insightful Esoteric Study Sessions with Acharya Hector

You are a beautiful gift not only for me but for everyone who will experience you during this lifetime. You have made my life very special by giving me an opportunity to bear you as my child. I have felt you and been with you in these 9 months silently paying you gratitude. People have been showering you with blessings and love, I hope you have had a great time with me. No one will be able to understand our bond but I know in my heart it will exist forever. I am looking forward to your arrival every passing day and I know the day you will be born I will be sharing a masterpiece with the world.

I know someday you will be reading this blog too and you will know that you are a special child :).

Live your life in an extraordinary way and fulfill your life purpose for which you are visiting this planet.

I Love you

Mom

May12

Creating A Splendid Humanity – Conscious Parenting Series

Posted on May 12, 2015 by Sargam Mishra

Standard

Our children are the future face of humanity if we want to see a better world we will have to create it now. no amount of criticism can change the world it is only our investment in our present generation that can bring the Golden Age on Planet Earth. Although this article is written for Mindful Parenting of the new generation this is highly applicable to our own inner children our emotional selves which have been neglected and deprived of love and affection. Our own emotional selves which have been harmed more by not what was done but what was not done to us due to emotional neglect. probably we all can learn how we can start healing our own selves when we are interacting with our own children. A child will help you deal with your own shadow aspect so be open and receptive to the mutual learning.

Children are like soft clay when a baby is in the mother’s womb its energy field are so soft and receptive that it picks up every thought form and emotion that the mother and the surrounding projects. A child although is a child but is a reincarnation it had a definite nature and tendencies in his or her previous lifetime but when the transition happens from physical to different worlds these tendencies become latent. When the child reincarnates it again travel from different worlds (higher mental. lower mental , astral , etheric) to the physical world and carries all the seeds good and bad of the tendencies developed in the previous lifetime.

Now the thought forms which are nothing but packets of energy when are project in the surroundings of the baby it energizes the tendencies within the baby. For example if a parent is highly abusive and angry and if the child in his previous lifetime had similar tendencies they will now be energized. How ever if the parents and mother are extremely loving and appreciative the child will have those tendencies energized. So you can see how the parents and the surroundings of the baby can help in shaping a child’s nature.

The physical body of a child is like plastic readily impressible, his astral and mental vehicles are far more so. They thrill in response to every vibration which they encounter, and are eagerly receptive with regard to all influences, whether good or evil, which emanate from those around them. And they resemble the physical body also in this other characteristic — that though in early youth they are so susceptible and so easily moulded, they very soon set and stiffen and acquire definite habits, which when once firmly established can be altered only with great difficulty.

When the bad tendencies do not get enough energy they are weeded out. When we realize this, we see at once the extreme importance of the surroundings in which a child passes his earliest years, and the heavy responsibility which rests upon every parent to see that the conditions of the child’s development are as good as they can be made.

Think of all the friends whom you know so well, and try to imagine what splendid specimens of humanity they would be if all their good qualities were enormously intensified, and all the less estimable features absolutely weeded out of their characters.

TIPS for Mindful Parenting

1.Strengthen the Good

This is extremely important if we focus on the goodness or good qualities of the child it magnifies. These good qualities will be so dominant that the lower nature or tendencies will not get energy to surface. However if a parent allows himself to cherish feelings of anger or jealousy, of envy or avarice, of selfishness or pride, even though he may never give them outward expression, the vibrations which he thereby causes in his own desire/ astral-body are assuredly acting all the while upon the plastic astral body of his child, tuning its vibrations to the same key, awakening into activity any tendencies of these bad qualities that may have been brought over from his past life, and setting up in him also the same set of bad habits, which when they have once become definitely formed will be exceedingly difficult to correct. And this is exactly what is being done in the case of most of the children whom we see around us.

2.Watch your Own Thoughts

A we understand our thoughts energize the seeds (good tendencies/habits) or weeds (bad tendencies/habits) in a child it is very important for parents to be very watchful of what they think and how they behave. For example if a parent has an anxious and fussy nature — is always fidgeting about trifles, and worrying his children and himself about matters which are really quite unimportant. If he could but observe clairvoyantly the utter unrest and discomfort which he thus produces in his aura, and could further see how these vibrations introduce quite unnecessary agitation and irritation into the susceptible auras of the children, it would no longer be surprised at their occasional outbursts of petulance or nervous excitability, and would realize that in such a case it is often far more to blame than they. What they should contemplate and set before the child as the object, is a restful, unruffled spirit — the peace which passes all understanding — the perfect calm which comes from the confidence that all will at last be well.

It is further obvious that the training of the parents’ character which is necessitated by these considerations is in every respect a splendid one, and that in thus helping on the evolution of their children they also benefit themselves to an extent which is absolutely incalculable, for the thoughts which at first have been summoned by conscious effort for the sake of the child will soon become natural and habitual, and will in time form the background of the parents’ entire life.

3.Responsible Teaching

The influence of a teacher for good or for bad over his pupils is one that cannot readily be measured, and (exactly as before) it depends not only upon what he says or what he does, but even more upon what he thinks.

The children are young minds upon which a teacher’s thoughts and words are reflected they take it up and magnify and strengthen it, and thus it influences others in turn and becomes a tradition handed down from one generation of children to another. If a teacher reflects unwholesome thoughts and actions the tradition becomes unhappy and bad however if love and faith is transmitted a happy and good tradition may be set up almost as easily.

There is only one way in which either parent or teacher can really obtain effective influence over a child and draw out all the best that is in him — and that is by winning his love and confidence. It is true that obedience may be extorted and discipline preserved by inspiring fear, but rules enforced by such a method are kept only so long as he who imposes them (or someone representing him) is present, and are invariably broken when there is no fear of detection; the child keeps them because he must, and not because he wishes to do so.

But if on the other hand, his affection has been invoked, his will at once ranges itself on the side of the rule; he wishes to keep it, because he knows that in breaking it he would cause sorrow to one whom he loves; and if only this feeling be strong enough, it will enable him to rise superior to all temptation, and the rule will be binding no matter who may be present or absent. Thus the object is attained not only much more thoroughly, but also much more easily and pleasantly both for teacher and pupil, and all the best side of the child’s nature is called into activity, instead of all the worst. Instead of rousing the child’s will into sullen and persistent opposition, the teacher arrays it on his own side in the contest against distractions or temptations; and thus results are achieved which could never be approached on the other system.

4. Physical Training and Purity

Physical training of the child is a matter of the greatest importance, and that a strong, pure, healthy body is necessary for the full expression of the developing soul within. We need to teach them from the first the exceeding importance of physical purity, so that they may regard the daily bath just as much an integral part of his life as the daily food. See to it that the body is not abused with meat, alcohol or tobacco; see to it that there is always plenty of sunlight, of fresh air and lots of exercise. So that they grow up pure, healthy and happy.