Category Archives: parenting our emotional self

Suicide ..Not An Escape From Life

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Sargam Mishra Suicide Article.pngClose to 800 000 people die due to suicide every year, which is one person every 40 seconds. Many more attempt suicide. Suicide occurs throughout the lifespan and is the second leading cause of death among 15-29 year olds globally.

Suicide is a global phenomenon; in fact, 78% of suicides occurred in low- and middle-income countries in 2015. Suicide accounted for 1.4% of all deaths worldwide, making it the 17th leading cause of death in 2015. There are indications that for each adult who died of suicide there may have been more than 20 others attempting suicide.

(Source:http://www.who.int/mental_health/prevention/suicide/suicideprevent/en/)

If you have experienced the pain of losing a loved one who committed suicide you can understand why it is so important to talk about it and spread awareness and discourage children and young adults to even consider this as an option in life.

The present wave of children that are incarnating are highly sensitive and emotional by nature. When born in a family or environment which does not seem conducive or in alignment with their expectation leads to disgust , resentment and depression.

I was asked to connect with an 18 year old boy from Maharashtra in July he had several issues with parents a very soft personality. I was asked to have a conversation with Mridul by a close family member , The background given was that he is in depression and was not interested in going to college as his self esteem was very low as he was not able to speak english. His father is an officer , alcoholic but was rarely around due to his transferable work. Mother a house wife but extremely dissatisfied in married life and quite superstitious and lots of fights between the son and mother.

I scheduled a video call with Mridul so that he could open up about his issues. As we saw each other on Video there he was smiling in front of me , he was expecting a very senior lady but seeing me smile he gave a huge smile in return ,I complimented Mridul for his smile and we burst into a laugh he was a bit hesitant and said  ‘Didi Mujhe Bohot Gussa Aata hai’ (I Get Very Angry) and then I end up resenting the outcome of my anger… and we continued with our session I found him hesitant to divulge about his life initially but gradually it was a good session.

After we concluded the session I was reviewing our talk and was reflecting , children nowadays have a lot to deal with at an early age. With parents not being available, rise in divorce rates, issues with self image and confidence, fear of rejection, handling expectations and lots of competition. Children nowadays do not have the emotional cushion, when they are hit by harsh realities they do not have the strength to cope and their life is scattered.

I remembered a talk I attended in 2015 where Sadhguru was emphasising how the youth will need to be brought up consciously because they have access to all kind of information today , they also have access to means (money and resources) they can either make themselves up or will fall prey to drugs, pornography, addiction and depression causing nuisance in family and society and once they realise their mistakes can also commit suicide for lack of sense of self worth and purpose.

After the session we could only connect on watsapp , in September when I messaged him I got to know his father was ill and he was in hospital, last message I received in October on Dushera and he replied with a smiley. I left for my vacation and had not heard from him in a month… Yesterday morning I got a message that Mridul committed suicide. I was really struck and was resenting again and again I should have called him up….the only question haunted me WHY… WHY YOU DID THIS??

Your Life is THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF LIFE , the most amazing phenomena happening now! No person , no situation, no event is worthy enough of ending this life. When you allow life to flow through you , you are playing an important part in the web of the COSMOS.

THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO ALL THOSE PRECIOUS SOULS
WHO HAVE ALREADY CHOSEN TO END THEIR OWN LIVES AND TO 
THOSE WHO ARE STILL WITH US BUT STRUGGLING WITH DARK AND DEPRESSIVE THOUGHTS AND CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE.

MAY THEY ALL FIND A REASON TO LIVE.

Suicide is actually the greatest living crimes one can commit. 

Here is why:

Your Body Is Sacred , The body is the only means through which the spirit or the soul finds expression in the material world. It is our responsibility to take care of this body given to us by our parents and ensure we use it to the fullest potential. When we commit suicide we are only ending the body but the spirit lives and has to wait in the astral world for the time you were meant to live. This is a painful process because without the body , the soul cannot experience time and this wait seems to be like several 100 years. As the carnal desires of the soul were still not fulfilled and its existence was ended abruptly the soul longs to experience them but fails miserably. This is similar to living in hell , the soul goes through immense remorse and wait in the astral plane.

Although it seems an end of suffering , it actually is a beginning of far more greater misery and remorse. Ignorance is not a bliss , when we see such events in life our duty for becoming responsible and conscious parents increases manifold.

Unless we lay a strong foundation of character building and virtues for our children by practicing and living the teachings ourselves it will be very difficult to expect them to follow. A better world can only be created by our actions, words and thoughts.

 

This is my message to everyone out there who are thinking of committing suicide rethink about the potential of life which is reverberating within you. You are VALUABLE!!

Love Sargam!

Reference article “Suicide Is Not Death,” William Q. Judge (a close colleague of H.P. Blavatsky and co-founder with her of the Theosophical Society) expressed the matter like this:

 

“The fate of the suicide is horrible in general. He has cut himself off from his body by using mechanical means that affect the body, but cannot touch the real man. He then is projected into the astral world, for he has to live somewhere. There the remorseless law, which acts really for his good, compels him to wait until he can properly die. Naturally he must wait, half dead, the months or years which, in the order of nature, would have rolled over him before body and soul and spirit could rightly separate. He becomes a shade; he lives in purgatory, so to say, called by the Theosophist the “place of desire and passion,” or “Kama-Loka.” He exists in the astral realm entirely, eaten up by his own thoughts. Continually repeating in vivid thoughts the act by which he tried to stop his life’s pilgrimage, he at the same time sees the people and the place he left, but is not able to communicate with any one …”

 

 

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Healing The Inner Child – Energy Approach

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“Your children will reflect your own shadows and unhealed inner child. It is important to heal your inner child to live a fulfilling life and raise happy and loving children”

Sargam Mishra

The first 6 years of a child’s life is of utmost significance because they pick up their belief systems from their primary caregivers and by silently observing their environment.So you can say a child develops the psychological blueprint during the initial 6 years of life and it determines the emotional response of the child for the rest of life. The child develops the capabilities of handling life situations and also develops a sense of self during these initial years. The foundation of ‘self confidence, self worth , good self image and emotional well being are all laid during this time. It is said that children do not learn what they are taught instead they learn by observing how the parents deal with their own life and situations. The behavior of the primary caregivers (parents) with the child determines how he or she perceives the world.The relationship with our parents and caretakers  and their relationships with each other is the single most important connection a child establishes. This also transforms into their definition of LOVE. This is what they seek out in their intimate relationships once they grow up. Based on these belief they start creating their reality and manifesting people and situations in life.

I am inspired to write this blog specially after  the super successful one on one sessions during the 21 Days of Prosperity Healing event with participation from 5 Countries and nearly 15 cities within India it was such a pleasure and privilege to be with a group of 80 amazing people from varied walks of life.

The event has several worth sharing experiences but the most beautiful part of this event was the one to one connect for healing blockages/inner child healing sessions , the healing sessions were conducted over call due to people being in different time zones my calendar was blocked from morning till late evening for one week. This was a 30-45 minute connect which started as an initiative to work on the prosperity blocks but once we connected I got the opportunity to work on various aspects of life  where participants gave me permission to work with their baby self and shared the broken parts of their life. It has been one of the most enriching Healing Event of my life and I am so grateful to the participants for sharing their life with me. During the healing sessions I could understand how people were continuously creating same scenarios in their life either in their work life, personal life and intimate relationships mirroring their early upbringing and .

I had earlier written on the same subject as “Parenting Our Emotional Self ” with a beautiful do it yourself practice by Thich Naht Hahn which many of you loved. Please find the link Parenting Our Emotional Self if you want to read it. However as I do more and more healing and grow and evolve myself my understanding of life and techniques of healing also evolve. Here I am describing few of my amazing healing sessions conducted recently. I will be adding this to my offering so feel free to book an appointment and experience the Inner Child Healing.

Inner Child Healing – Book an Appointment

I got the opportunity to use Pranic Healing along with Psychotherapy and Inner Child Healing during these sessions. My first session was with a lady who is a senior healer and spiritual practitioner herself the healing was related with her long term physical problem and she wanted help healing any energy imbalance/block related to it. We started the process and in 30-45 minutes of healing and consultation there was a shift in the pain associated with the problem she was able to feel a connect with her own being and we could identify the root cause of the issue which was related to an unhealed aspect of her past. Her testimonial was beautiful and then I got more requests for doing the one on one sessions. In 6 days I connected with nearly 55 people and use the same methodology and the results were superb.

Another amazing healing was done with a lady who had been subjected to a traumatic childhood experience and was facing the shadows of it in her love relationships. When we started working on the block there was a lot of self worth issues and lack of self confidence once the session started and she was feeling in safe zone we started working on the inner child who was still living the same fear of her abusive childhood and unknowingly due to these fears she was manifesting people and situations that were mirroring more of this shadow aspect. In about 45-50 minutes of healing she could develop a bond with her inner child and understood that as she has abandoned the inner child within her she was experiencing a deep pain and loneliness in life. The pain and loneliness could not be fulfilled from external relationships as it was something she was creating within. I was so touched myself with the healing experience once we completed the healing and started with the affirmations there was so much love flowing from her that even I had tears in my eyes. These were tears of joy from both of us. The session ended with deep gratitude from my end to all the invisible helpers who were helping these healing through me.

Another beautiful session was conducted with a business man who was doing well in his life but wanted to be able to move ahead in life and be more successful financially,.The block he identified was procrastination. We had an interesting discussion around how and why people procrastinate even important decisions in life and then he opened up on his fear of losing money and also the mirroring of the attitude picked up from his primary caregiver (procrastination).He had a fear associated with business and failure as he had seen his father struggle with debt and bankers. The event happened nearly 40 years back but the emotional fear about losing money and the pain associated with it was still residing within him. He himself is a very passionate person but loses spark related to his business matters. Interesting conversations right..how people unconsciously live on borrowed beliefs for years.

Below are few more testimonials from the event and I am also adding the do it yourself technique for doing the inner child work. However when we work with a healer the ealer can results are more profound as the healer can help raise your vibrations quickly and can walk you through the dark areas of your past with ease and non judgement.

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The Inner Child Healing Approach

  1. Center yourself

    Sit in a quiet place where no one can disturb you for 30-45 minutes you can play some soothing music for 5-10 minutes and then take few deep breaths to normalize the heart beat and get in a rythm and harmony with your being. Once you are at ease imagine yourself to be connected with a huge source of energy (like an ocean of golden light)on the top of your crown chakra (top of head) and imagine roots of light connecting you to mother earth. This is your circuit. Now breathe in through this source of energy and when you breathe out just imagine your body relax and all your subtle bodies(aura) expand. This exercise can be practice anytime to relax do it for 30-45 seconds till you feel at ease.

  2. Identify the block (habit/pattern/psychological issue) that you want to work on

    The first step is to identify the block you want to work on this can be identified as a trigger that causes you to breakdown in tough situations. A self sabotaging belief that constantly tells you “You are not….Enough”. A habit or pattern in life which is no more adding value to your life.

  3. Understand the emotion attached to this block (habit/pattern/psychological issue) identified in Step

This step helps you to identify the underlying emotional response of your system this may be accompanied with a discomfort in the physical body like a sensation in the stomach (anxiety) a feeling of block in the back heart, front heart (sadness, fear of being lonely) or anger resentment felt near the solar plexus area.

Once you have experienced the emotion/feeling be with it for sometime so that you are aware of it.

    4. Step 4 is where everything begins to change! Meeting your Inner Child 

Once you understand the emotion and have been with it for sometime just go down the memory lane and remember the times when you have felt the same. The reason would have been different but feeling and emotions just the same. So for example a feeling of being rejected post a breakup can feel the same painful as when you parents rejected you because they were expecting you to behave in a particular way.This could be the early memories where you picked up the emotional response.

Now picture yourself as a small child and re experience the event and show compassion to this inner child who has had first experience with the feeling and does not like being in this situation. Try to hold this baby self in the same way a mother/parent holds a newborn baby. Picture the image of your pained baby self imagine wrapping him/her in a warm blanket, being held with very loving care closely to your heart, your chest, as you extend it very sincere compassion from your heart center.Just be with this baby self till you feel safe and secure with your own baby self.

5. Taking your Inner Child to a Safe Zone

Once you feel secure and connected with your baby self  after the step 4. mentally (or verbally) say to the baby self I that you have grown up and are capable of taking of this inner child within you. There is no need to seek approval , seek love outside instead you are there to nurture your baby self from all that was deprived and ensure that life is going to be all about following your joy. and you promise to care and be with it whenever you feel your inner child is throwing tantrums.

Pranic Healing techniques like cutting the Emotional Cords people and situations helps a great deal in shutting the source of issue. MCKS Forgiveness technique make this process even more effective.

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“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice”

courtesy internet

Creating A Splendid Humanity – Conscious Parenting Series

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Our children are the future face of humanity if we want to see a better world we will have to create it now. no amount of criticism can change the world it is only our investment in our present generation that can bring the Golden Age on Planet Earth. Although this article is written for Mindful Parenting of the new generation this is highly applicable to our own inner children our emotional selves which have been neglected and deprived of love and affection. Our own emotional selves which have been harmed more by not what was done but what was not done to us due to emotional neglect. probably we all can learn how we can start healing our own selves when we are interacting with our own children. A child will help you deal with your own shadow aspect so be open and receptive to the mutual learning.

Children are like soft clay when a baby is in the mother’s womb its energy field are so soft and receptive that it picks up every thought form and emotion that the mother and the surrounding projects. A child although is a child but is a reincarnation it had a definite nature and tendencies in his or her previous lifetime but when the transition happens from physical to different worlds these tendencies become latent. When the child reincarnates it again travel from different worlds (higher mental. lower mental , astral , etheric) to the physical world and carries all the seeds good and bad of the tendencies developed in the previous lifetime.

Now the thought forms which are nothing but packets of energy when are project in the surroundings of the baby it energizes the tendencies within the baby. For example if a parent is highly abusive and angry and if the child in his previous lifetime had similar tendencies they will now be energized. How ever if the parents and mother are extremely loving and appreciative the child will have those tendencies energized. So you can see how the parents and the surroundings of the baby can help in shaping a child’s nature.

The physical body of a child is like plastic readily impressible, his astral and mental vehicles are far more so. They thrill in response to every vibration which they encounter, and are eagerly receptive with regard to all influences, whether good or evil, which emanate from those around them. And they resemble the physical body also in this other characteristic — that though in early youth they are so susceptible and so easily moulded, they very soon set and stiffen and acquire definite habits, which when once firmly established can be altered only with great difficulty.

Sargam Mishra_Inner Alchemy_Create Splendid Children_love

When the bad tendencies do not get enough energy they are weeded out. When we realize this, we see at once the extreme importance of the surroundings in which a child passes his earliest years, and the heavy responsibility which rests upon every parent to see that the conditions of the child’s development are as good as they can be made.

Think of all the friends whom you know so well, and try to imagine what splendid specimens of humanity they would be if all their good qualities were enormously intensified, and all the less estimable features absolutely weeded out of their characters.

TIPS for Mindful Parenting

1.Strengthen the Good

This is extremely important if we focus on the goodness or good qualities of the child it magnifies. These good qualities will be so dominant that the lower nature or tendencies will not get energy to surface. However if a parent allows himself to cherish feelings of anger or jealousy, of envy or avarice, of selfishness or pride, even though he may never give them outward expression, the vibrations which he thereby causes in his own desire/ astral-body are assuredly acting all the while upon the plastic astral body of his child, tuning its vibrations to the same key, awakening into activity any tendencies of these bad qualities that may have been brought over from his past life, and setting up in him also the same set of bad habits, which when they have once become definitely formed will be exceedingly difficult to correct. And this is exactly what is being done in the case of most of the children whom we see around us.

2.Watch your Own Thoughts

A we understand our thoughts energize the seeds (good tendencies/habits) or weeds (bad tendencies/habits) in a child it is very important for parents to be very watchful of what they think and how they behave. For example if a parent has an anxious and fussy nature — is always fidgeting about trifles, and worrying his children and himself about matters which are really quite unimportant. If he could but observe clairvoyantly the utter unrest and discomfort which he thus produces in his aura, and could further see how these vibrations introduce quite unnecessary agitation and irritation into the susceptible auras of the children, it would no longer be surprised at their occasional outbursts of petulance or nervous excitability, and would realize that in such a case it is often far more to blame than they. What they should contemplate and set before the child as the object, is a restful, unruffled spirit — the peace which passes all understanding — the perfect calm which comes from the confidence that all will at last be well.

It is further obvious that the training of the parents’ character which is necessitated by these considerations is in every respect a splendid one, and that in thus helping on the evolution of their children they also benefit themselves to an extent which is absolutely incalculable, for the thoughts which at first have been summoned by conscious effort for the sake of the child will soon become natural and habitual, and will in time form the background of the parents’ entire life.

3.Responsible Teaching

The influence of a teacher for good or for bad over his pupils is one that cannot readily be measured, and (exactly as before) it depends not only upon what he says or what he does, but even more upon what he thinks.

The children are young minds upon which a teacher’s thoughts and words are reflected they take it up and magnify and strengthen it, and thus it influences others in turn and becomes a tradition handed down from one generation of children to another. If a teacher reflects unwholesome thoughts and actions the tradition becomes unhappy and bad however if love and faith is transmitted a happy and good tradition may be set up almost as easily.

There is only one way in which either parent or teacher can really obtain effective influence over a child and draw out all the best that is in him — and that is by winning his love and confidence. It is true that obedience may be extorted and discipline preserved by inspiring fear, but rules enforced by such a method are kept only so long as he who imposes them (or someone representing him) is present, and are invariably broken when there is no fear of detection; the child keeps them because he must, and not because he wishes to do so.

But if on the other hand, his affection has been invoked, his will at once ranges itself on the side of the rule; he wishes to keep it, because he knows that in breaking it he would cause sorrow to one whom he loves; and if only this feeling be strong enough, it will enable him to rise superior to all temptation, and the rule will be binding no matter who may be present or absent. Thus the object is attained not only much more thoroughly, but also much more easily and pleasantly both for teacher and pupil, and all the best side of the child’s nature is called into activity, instead of all the worst. Instead of rousing the child’s will into sullen and persistent opposition, the teacher arrays it on his own side in the contest against distractions or temptations; and thus results are achieved which could never be approached on the other system.

4. Physical Training and Purity

Physical training of the child is a matter of the greatest importance, and that a strong, pure, healthy body is necessary for the full expression of the developing soul within. We need to teach them from the first the exceeding importance of physical purity, so that they may regard the daily bath just as much an integral part of his life as the daily food. See to it that the body is not abused with meat, alcohol or tobacco; see to it that there is always plenty of sunlight, of fresh air and lots of exercise. So that they grow up pure, healthy and happy.