family | Sargam Mishra

“The best metric of child poverty may not have to do with income but with how often a child is spoken and read to.”

Amidst our hectic lifestyle and a quest to chase our dreams, we sometimes ignore our responsibilities as parents. Having very little time for communicating and playing with our children, we find it easy to introduce technical gadgets to our children in their early years. This is the time when they are absorbing everything as a sponge. A child by age 4 will hear nearly a million words and more This is how he she will form their vocabulary and learn to express themselves. So every time you speak to your child you are giving them words and expressions to process which will become the foundation of their behaviour.

It is important to raise awareness and my articles and counselling have been a medium. There are so many excuses we can hear and most of them feel it is difficult to keep the children away from the media and technical gadgets. This is actually true because we ourselves have indulged in them and life without TV and social media is impossible. We do not want to miss our favorite serials (daily soaps) or avoid listening to romantic and catchy numbers where lyrics are just not making any sense.

Raising a child is a conscious choice and a 20 year project at the minimum and once you have taken it up it is your duty to deliver it to the best you can. Most of us feel when babies are 0-6 months they do not understand what is happening. Instead the child is learning at a phenomenal rate daily , the brain activity is happening not only when they are awake but also during the REM (Rapid Eye movement) sleep time. They are constantly accessing the environment they are growing up in absorbing energies being emitted from all the people near them. They are sensitive to the oceans of thoughts and emotions in their environment.

Babies are like wet clay they have the potential to be anything but they are dependent on the environment set up by parents and the way we handle them plays a major role in their making.

Relationships are a great way to learn life lessons; whether you decide to stay in a relationship or move on is your personal choice but the best thing is to learn your life lesson than changing partners because the more you avoid the lessons the tough it gets 🙂

As a soul we choose our life experience , so we choose our parents and family member to help us learn and evolve as a person. Each member of the family has a karmic responsibility towards other family members to help them workout the unhealed aspect of their soul. So a bullying brother/ an abusive father/cranky mother or a lazy sister all are grouped together in a family. The universe works in macrocosm and microcosm. At human level the Karma/ learning starts from an individual, then there are family learning, then every place/area/city/state/country/continent has its own karma/learning and it expands to planets and solar systems.

So souls born in Africa/ Afghanistan chose these places as their birth place to go through a life experience based on the Karma/learning they wanted to go through.

Every family has a neural encodement that is passed on from child to parents with certain ideals and beliefs. You are automatically subjected to a thinking pattern/beliefs and ideals along with your own soul encodements. So you assess the world based on these encodements part of your neural patterns the aspects where they both are aligned there is a feeling of belonging and where there is non alignment between your soul and family neural patterns you face conflicts. These conflicts have a higher purpose to serve in your expansion. For e.g you chose to learn a lesson on Trust and Love . To understand what is love and trust you will be faced with the absence or lack of these emotions so you choose to be born to parents who were constantly under conflict based on trust issue and it resulted in an unhealthy childhood and a longing for love. Bybeing close to your family members you will pick up certain patterns in your subconscious which will mean love and trust to them.So if spending money was a way of showing love you will understand love through money, if helping household work was a way of showing love you will pick up service as love.

These subconscious pattern will lie dormant till you meet with triggers in your life , if there is an unhealed aspect of love and trust they will act as magnifying glass. So they will keep challenging your learning till you get aligned to your higher soul.

Most of the times when you end up in a relationship your subconscious will keep on picking signals of distrust from your childhood experiences. So if you will see anything that closely resembles the childhood experience you will react on impulse. This can make your relationships suffer and even end painfully. The thing you have to understand that the reactions that you pick from family are not applicable to the current relationship at all. They are just picked from your family conditioning which was 20 -30 yrs old or even 50-100 yrs based on the fact that your parents picked from theirs and so on….

Most people find it tough to alter their conditioning and continue to react based on their family conditioning this has actually lead to unhappy marriages/ divorce (not saying the only reason for divorce but this is one of the reasons) Now you must be wondering what is the life lesson and what can be done??

Here are 5 steps :

1. Reflect Your Family Tree

If there is a recurring pattern in the family e.g grand parents had a distanced married life, parents were brought up by a distressed parent insecurity/attention seeking attitude will be passed on to the parent (father/mother) the parents will repeat these behavior and the child will pick up the patterns and will judge his relationships through the pain of grandparent/parents (this can go beyond two generations)

2. Observe your Current Relationship

Check if your conditioned mind is dominant during danger situations 🙂 Danger is anything that your parents could not face; anything that triggered their reactivity. Because when your caregivers are reactive they’re not able give you care.Are you facing dangers?? If there is a pattern just question

i) What that situation means to you

ii) Why is it so bad?

These questions will help you understand whether the reaction is external or an area you need to work on

3. Check for Repetitive Emotional Drama

A repetitive drama can be due to an expectation based on how things should be based on your family conditioning/neural patterns. Now understand one thing your family conditioning and the person you are involved can have a different family conditioning and hence can cause a conflict too. e.g for you intimacy is a danger as your parents used it against each other but for your partner’s parents it was a fulfilling experience. So there will be an emotional drama from your end.

4. Liberate Yourself from Emotional Instability

Once you understand that you are dominated through your family conditioning which can be as old as 100 yrs or more you do not have to apply it to your relationship. Liberate yourself from emotional instability.

5. Forgive and Cut Cords

These experiences are learning at soul level so once you identify them do a forgiveness for your family members and ancestors and cut chords so that you are able to act from your higher self (buddha nature).

“Inner forgiveness gives you the ability to grow, to be free,
and it also gives you the opportunity to generate positive
karma.Inner forgiveness is therapeutic. If you do not forgive
you cannot be internally healed. Forgiving heals the soul.”

Forgiveness Exercise

Even a Straight Line on ECG means Dead….So is Life enjoy the ups and reflect and learn from your lows

But avoid unnecessary drama in your life because of something that you are not even aware 🙂

Lots of Love Sargam