Our Vulnerable Authentic Self

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We judge, love doesn’t. We judge and we judge and we never stop judging for that is all we know what to do.

When we judge we separate from love for it is impossible to be in the heart and to judge at the same time.

We all want to experience our Authentic Self but most of us are living a life putting up different masks. So there are many versions of “Me” : For Friends, for close Relationships, for Professional work and sometimes a version of Me for Me in my dark moments and Me in my Happy Moments.

Can you imagine how much time and effort we spend in maintaining and living these different versions of ME?? And sometimes living so many lives in one life we end up exhausted unable to live the life we really wanted to. Being vulnerable or being our true self is considered a weakness by many of us. It is hard for us to see and accept people when they are open about their life issues and problems. Sometimes we just don’t want to express our sadness and sorrows as we want to deal with them alone. It was really interesting for me when I started on my relationship journey there were interesting situations that just cropped up every few months and I always wonder if my relationship was worth pursuing. Most of my friends appeared super happy, later when we spoke in depth I realized how everyone had their own struggles. Due to our own internal wow of secrecy and The I AM ALRIGHT SYNDROME when things may not be alright at all ; we create barriers and boundaries in relationships. Most issues in relationships are because of avoiding vulnerability. As exposing our weaknesses in a relationship makes us feel powerless , at high risk of being hurt. But we only realize it later that one can develop deeper bonds by connecting with others once we have exposed ourselves completely.

“To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees – these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. But, I’m learning that recognizing and leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude and grace.”

brene brown n vulnerability

Most of us go through similar situations, when a loved one passes away, when we are in a broken relationship, when there are family issues we just act to be ALL RIGHT due to this internal Vow of Secrecy. The fear of being judged and being labelled as vulnerable is so big that we just don’t want to share. So we remain with the wounds for the rest of our life and energetically we obstruct the flow of the life force energy within us.

As human beings we thrive and grow on LOVE ; the moment we create boundaries and barriers for love to flow we restrict the flow of life force energy within us.This manifests as physical and emotional illness. Healing can only happen when we are ready to be vulnerable, when we are open to share the pain and issues no matter how deep and ugly they are.

We talk about feeling One with god and one with all this “Oneness” is only possible when we are able to open ourselves and allow healing of our wounds.Our shadow aspects or darker areas of life can only be healed when we allow or open up to receiving the love and light.

Our Modern medicine system is highly evolved but it fails miserably because by medicine alone we cannot heal the broken heart that causes heart disease. We cannot heal diabetes by injecting and controlling insulin because there needs to be an emotional clearing. We are losing our connection with our own feelings and emotions ; we are unable to listen to what our bodies are telling us. As a friend, a parent or a loved one the only thing we can do is help people be their authentic self ; allow them to be vulnerable to love. We are emotional beings and any healing will not help if it does not address the emotions by touching our hearts. We need healers, counselors and coaches that can help us as friends ,walk with us no matter how broken we are.

When we are vulnerable we put away the fancy airs
we put on and drop our self-image, which is always
hoping to look a little better than we actually feel.

Love n Masks. Sargam

The most important key to finding the Love of the heart  is found in our willingness and ability to be vulnerable”

 

1.Vulnerability is so much easier when you love yourself.

Think about it. When you don’t love all of you and are afraid to show people the less than stellar parts, the space between you and vulnerability is like the Grand Canyon. You will need all the courage you can get to make the leap across.

But when you love yourself, and I mean all of you, you don’t worry so much if someone else doesn’t. And when you’re less afraid of rejection, you step right into that place of openness.

2. Vulnerability takes practice 

You don’t just learn it once and then—ta-dah!—you’re easily open to everything and everyone. It takes constant practice and deliberate choice to be vulnerable.

3. The rewards of vulnerability are immeasurable.

With vulnerability, you experience true connection—true love for yourself—and you begin to attract people to you who are inspired by your openness.

While it’s not easy to be vulnerable, you’d be surprised how loving all of you and then sharing it with another can help you to connect with anyone. In my own life, I’m continuing to open up through my blogs and by sharing my experiences.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”
Brené Brown

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2 responses »

  1. Pingback: The Reality of Relationships | Sargam Mishra

  2. Pingback: Healthy Boundaries In Relationships | Sargam Mishra

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