Tag Archives: self love

Creating Healthy Boundaries In Relationships

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Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.  – Brené Brown

 

Sargam Mishra boundaries in relationships

This is going to be interesting 🙂 possibly the people pleasers might feel a bit offended but the reason why I am writing this blog is help all of you connect with your personal truth. Boundaries sound like a resistance in relationships but as a relationship consultant and energy healer I have learned how important it is to define our boundaries for personal happiness and growth.

Boundaries differentiate you as a person from others because of your uniqueness as an individual. Your individuality is your personal truth , your identity which defines your like, dislikes , preferences and create a sense of self. So today Sargam is different from ABC not only because of the way she looks but also because of her individuality…same applies to you.

However as soon as you get in a relationship specially love relationships you try to fit in to the expectations of your self. Expectations of your family, society, friends and the list is quite long……You do this to feel valued , to be loved, to be accepted and you easily cross your own physical, emotional, mental and spiritual boundaries in order to be accepted as a good wife, daughter in law, mother….

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So for example 1st day of the marriage  and you are expected to dress a certain way and sit among relatives when you are dying to catch some sleep. You compromise on your emotional boundaries and give in to the expectations….then the next some more….a week later some more compromises and then after 10 years of marriage you realise that you are UNHAPPY some of us are  Totally burned out  and just want to give up pretending any more and they do but then there are some who accept this way of life and continue to pretend all is good.

I get to talk to both kind of people the one who have given up on a relationship because it was too much of pain and hurt and violation of personal boundaries and also those who continue in the sad marriage and need to reconnect with their personal boundaries to find happiness, self love in life.

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Most of the relationship problem happen because we are not conditioned to speak about our personal boundaries , our likes , dislikes , emotional needs, physical desires, aspirations…. instead we want people to either guess them for us or we expect that they will also sacrifice their likes , dislikes, emotional needs , physical desires for us… you must have heard the C word COMPROMISE in relationships.  This is what some of your elders would have told you time and again just give yourself for love, marriage , your partner …. but trust me it does not work for long. This is one of the major reasons of a physical condition arthritis in men and women , the suppressed emotions locks up their joints. With pent up solar plexus and small heart chakra (the major energy centres in human anatomy) , diabetes, blood pressure, heart disease become the expression of the pain and suffering you have accumulated by being numb to your own emotions.

Relationships should never survive on pulling people out of their personal boundaries

You do not have good personal boundaries if :

  1. You are unable to say NO
  2. You feel Guilty after doing something
  3. When you feel you are acting against your integrity
  4. You are unable to communicate how you feel
  5. You are unable to check people if they violate your personal boundaries
  6. Emotionally you feel unhappy

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If you have been constantly engaging in the above behaviour you have personally violated your own personal boundaries. This is a sign of lack of self love and though I have been blowing the horn of self love in all my workshops it is very important to understand it.

YOU CANNOT GIVE OTHERS WHAT YOU DO NOT HAVE

So if feel you can love others when you are constantly out of alignment with your joy, happiness, purpose in life .. you are telling a lie to yourself. If you think you can love people when you do not love your self ….. you can never be in a healthy , happy , nurturing relationship. You cannot pour from an empty cup my friend

Love is about filling your cup and then overflowing to fill others.I know it sounds harsh but this is the TRUTH.

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To be able to enjoy your life, to be able to live an extraordinary intense life.. you need to connect with your internal GPS you have to connect with your emotions and feelings. You have to be aligned with your personal truth. Only you can know your boundaries as no one else can feel on your behalf.  No one can also teach you about creating personal boundaries.

Knowing others is intelligence, knowing yourself is true wisdom

How Do I Create My Personal Boundaries?

  1. It is a simple exercise but you will have to practise it every day to be able to discover your personal boundaries. Create a journal about things you really love and  things that upset you try to derive your boundaries based on it.
  2. Sit comfortably and as you reflect on your day identify the situations where you did not feel happy. Then ask yourself what was upsetting about the situation , write it down and then ask yourself what is the boundary that was violated? make a note of it. So for example somebody in office made a lewd remark and it was uncomfortable but others just laughed and moved on with their work. Just understand why were you hurt with this situation and what can you do to feel better. May be you feel you can tell the person it was not comfortable or may be just not participate in such gatherings. It is upto you.
  3. Practise honouring your feeling and emotions and communicate them with love and kindness
  4. Be conscious about how you feel in different situations to understand your own needs and desires
  5. Make Self love a conscious choice you can read my blog on Self Love
  6. Practise being Authentic, do not fake your emotions and feeling once you get in this trap of faking there is no escape

Boundaries are created to create more loving and meaningful relationships do not use them to resist people and situation because resistance is an out of alignment behaviour.

Also remember your boundaries will evolve with time so be flexible based on your relationships and your own self ascension. When you will become more and more in tune and aware of your boundaries you will start honouring the boundaries of others because you will understand how valuable it is to maintain healthy boundaries. So you may start  out by feeling separate in the beginning but gradually you will understand that the ego evolves but discovering self happiness, self joy and self love and then it becomes appreciative as it understands everything is actually an expression of the source and hence is able to appreciate the oneness aspect.

If you like the blog post a comment and leave your email I will share my new Opening the Heart Centre Visualisation with you – Anahata Blossom

So as a mother my boundaries have expanded to include my child’s happiness but this is in alignment with my happiness. This is a mutual win win in any relationship. Allowing children to define their boundaries is one of the most empowering gift you can give them. So stop invalidating their fears, their insecurities instead hear them out and tell them you understand.

Samaira evaluating my notes on today’s blog 🙂

Love and Light

Sargam

 

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Healing The Inner Child – Energy Approach

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sargam-and-samaira

“Your children will reflect your own shadows and unhealed inner child. It is important to heal your inner child to live a fulfilling life and raise happy and loving children”

Sargam Mishra

The first 6 years of a child’s life is of utmost significance because they pick up their belief systems from their primary caregivers and by silently observing their environment.So you can say a child develops the psychological blueprint during the initial 6 years of life and it determines the emotional response of the child for the rest of life. The child develops the capabilities of handling life situations and also develops a sense of self during these initial years. The foundation of ‘self confidence, self worth , good self image and emotional well being are all laid during this time. It is said that children do not learn what they are taught instead they learn by observing how the parents deal with their own life and situations. The behavior of the primary caregivers (parents) with the child determines how he or she perceives the world.The relationship with our parents and caretakers  and their relationships with each other is the single most important connection a child establishes. This also transforms into their definition of LOVE. This is what they seek out in their intimate relationships once they grow up. Based on these belief they start creating their reality and manifesting people and situations in life.

I am inspired to write this blog specially after  the super successful one on one sessions during the 21 Days of Prosperity Healing event with participation from 5 Countries and nearly 15 cities within India it was such a pleasure and privilege to be with a group of 80 amazing people from varied walks of life.

The event has several worth sharing experiences but the most beautiful part of this event was the one to one connect for healing blockages/inner child healing sessions , the healing sessions were conducted over call due to people being in different time zones my calendar was blocked from morning till late evening for one week. This was a 30-45 minute connect which started as an initiative to work on the prosperity blocks but once we connected I got the opportunity to work on various aspects of life  where participants gave me permission to work with their baby self and shared the broken parts of their life. It has been one of the most enriching Healing Event of my life and I am so grateful to the participants for sharing their life with me. During the healing sessions I could understand how people were continuously creating same scenarios in their life either in their work life, personal life and intimate relationships mirroring their early upbringing and .

I had earlier written on the same subject as “Parenting Our Emotional Self ” with a beautiful do it yourself practice by Thich Naht Hahn which many of you loved. Please find the link Parenting Our Emotional Self if you want to read it. However as I do more and more healing and grow and evolve myself my understanding of life and techniques of healing also evolve. Here I am describing few of my amazing healing sessions conducted recently. I will be adding this to my offering so feel free to book an appointment and experience the Inner Child Healing.

Inner Child Healing – Book an Appointment

I got the opportunity to use Pranic Healing along with Psychotherapy and Inner Child Healing during these sessions. My first session was with a lady who is a senior healer and spiritual practitioner herself the healing was related with her long term physical problem and she wanted help healing any energy imbalance/block related to it. We started the process and in 30-45 minutes of healing and consultation there was a shift in the pain associated with the problem she was able to feel a connect with her own being and we could identify the root cause of the issue which was related to an unhealed aspect of her past. Her testimonial was beautiful and then I got more requests for doing the one on one sessions. In 6 days I connected with nearly 55 people and use the same methodology and the results were superb.

Another amazing healing was done with a lady who had been subjected to a traumatic childhood experience and was facing the shadows of it in her love relationships. When we started working on the block there was a lot of self worth issues and lack of self confidence once the session started and she was feeling in safe zone we started working on the inner child who was still living the same fear of her abusive childhood and unknowingly due to these fears she was manifesting people and situations that were mirroring more of this shadow aspect. In about 45-50 minutes of healing she could develop a bond with her inner child and understood that as she has abandoned the inner child within her she was experiencing a deep pain and loneliness in life. The pain and loneliness could not be fulfilled from external relationships as it was something she was creating within. I was so touched myself with the healing experience once we completed the healing and started with the affirmations there was so much love flowing from her that even I had tears in my eyes. These were tears of joy from both of us. The session ended with deep gratitude from my end to all the invisible helpers who were helping these healing through me.

Another beautiful session was conducted with a business man who was doing well in his life but wanted to be able to move ahead in life and be more successful financially,.The block he identified was procrastination. We had an interesting discussion around how and why people procrastinate even important decisions in life and then he opened up on his fear of losing money and also the mirroring of the attitude picked up from his primary caregiver (procrastination).He had a fear associated with business and failure as he had seen his father struggle with debt and bankers. The event happened nearly 40 years back but the emotional fear about losing money and the pain associated with it was still residing within him. He himself is a very passionate person but loses spark related to his business matters. Interesting conversations right..how people unconsciously live on borrowed beliefs for years.

Below are few more testimonials from the event and I am also adding the do it yourself technique for doing the inner child work. However when we work with a healer the ealer can results are more profound as the healer can help raise your vibrations quickly and can walk you through the dark areas of your past with ease and non judgement.

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The Inner Child Healing Approach

  1. Center yourself

    Sit in a quiet place where no one can disturb you for 30-45 minutes you can play some soothing music for 5-10 minutes and then take few deep breaths to normalize the heart beat and get in a rythm and harmony with your being. Once you are at ease imagine yourself to be connected with a huge source of energy (like an ocean of golden light)on the top of your crown chakra (top of head) and imagine roots of light connecting you to mother earth. This is your circuit. Now breathe in through this source of energy and when you breathe out just imagine your body relax and all your subtle bodies(aura) expand. This exercise can be practice anytime to relax do it for 30-45 seconds till you feel at ease.

  2. Identify the block (habit/pattern/psychological issue) that you want to work on

    The first step is to identify the block you want to work on this can be identified as a trigger that causes you to breakdown in tough situations. A self sabotaging belief that constantly tells you “You are not….Enough”. A habit or pattern in life which is no more adding value to your life.

  3. Understand the emotion attached to this block (habit/pattern/psychological issue) identified in Step

This step helps you to identify the underlying emotional response of your system this may be accompanied with a discomfort in the physical body like a sensation in the stomach (anxiety) a feeling of block in the back heart, front heart (sadness, fear of being lonely) or anger resentment felt near the solar plexus area.

Once you have experienced the emotion/feeling be with it for sometime so that you are aware of it.

    4. Step 4 is where everything begins to change! Meeting your Inner Child 

Once you understand the emotion and have been with it for sometime just go down the memory lane and remember the times when you have felt the same. The reason would have been different but feeling and emotions just the same. So for example a feeling of being rejected post a breakup can feel the same painful as when you parents rejected you because they were expecting you to behave in a particular way.This could be the early memories where you picked up the emotional response.

Now picture yourself as a small child and re experience the event and show compassion to this inner child who has had first experience with the feeling and does not like being in this situation. Try to hold this baby self in the same way a mother/parent holds a newborn baby. Picture the image of your pained baby self imagine wrapping him/her in a warm blanket, being held with very loving care closely to your heart, your chest, as you extend it very sincere compassion from your heart center.Just be with this baby self till you feel safe and secure with your own baby self.

5. Taking your Inner Child to a Safe Zone

Once you feel secure and connected with your baby self  after the step 4. mentally (or verbally) say to the baby self I that you have grown up and are capable of taking of this inner child within you. There is no need to seek approval , seek love outside instead you are there to nurture your baby self from all that was deprived and ensure that life is going to be all about following your joy. and you promise to care and be with it whenever you feel your inner child is throwing tantrums.

Pranic Healing techniques like cutting the Emotional Cords people and situations helps a great deal in shutting the source of issue. MCKS Forgiveness technique make this process even more effective.

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“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice”

courtesy internet

‘Power of Intention’-Series 3

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Day 5: Love makes the world go round

The quality that supports, enhances, nurtures and encourages all life in the universe can be nothing but LOVE. Creativity and kindness can exist only in an environment of love have you ever wondered why this warm fuzzy feeling can make you feel on top of the world? It is because love provides security, harmony and an environment of well being. All of us crave for that feeling in our life which is our true nature.

LOVE is the third face of intention.When you do what you do not love , you experience yourself to be out of alignment with the field of intention and it attracts dissatisfaction. However when you love what you do and do what you love, life is a blessing.

In the meditation of MCKS Twin Hearts ,the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi there is a beautiful line “Where there is hatred let me sow love” Love is a powerful high vibration/energy that can dissolve all lower emotions anger, hatred, jealousy. Just like a single candle can absorb the darkness of a room. Love is the most powerful and still the most unknown energy in the world,

Exercise: Look in the mirror , smile at this person and say I LOVE YOU straight in the eyes. Say this till the warm fuzzy feeling sinks in this is the person who needs your love the most.

Please join for the Tuesday gratitude meditationhttp://pranichealing.com/31daysofgratitude

Emotional PAIN – Doorway to Inner Alchemy

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Pain the doorway to Inner Alchemy Sargam Mishra

This blog is a part of a conversation with a parent whose child recently went through a break up and was extremely miserable. It is really amazing how thoughts get triggered when I am put in situation 🙂 The approach that was followed by the parent was to provide the child as many self help tips and valuable advise that was available to disconnect him from the PAIN but finally there was nothing that was actually working for him. The reason that I feel that self help gyan, spirituality etc does not work at this time is because it means we are somewhere we are not suppose to be.

I was just thinking if we keep reinforcing that the situation due to which a person is in PAIN is something that in first place should not happen and if it has happened one needs to be out of it asap or run from it. This can create a feeling of shame or failure in the child/person. Instead if we can follow the approach that it is just OKAY to go through a situation in life to learn as we are not born with experience instead we gather it on our life journey, this becomes a more positive situation for the child/person.

It takes 3 seconds flat to come to this life and realize PAIN is part of our life. But it takes an entire life to accept the reality that YES PAIN is a part of our life and it is OKAY…….Stop running away from facing the reality that yes life will be painful whenever we will fall out of a relationship, or when we will lose our loved ones …my first encounter with PAIN I mean the really brutal encounter was when I lost my mother..as a child I was really afraid to grow up thinking that if I grew up my parents and dear relatives will grow old and I will have to see them die. That thought used to freeze me when I was only 6 yrs old….I used to sit in rooms and mull over it but I never told this to anyone.

When the day I lost my mother I had no idea that the real pain would be far greater than I had imagined. My father is a strong man and he never made himself vulnerable in front of anyone during this loss and so I decided I will not cry and just accept the pain as with the loss. I saw many of my relatives howling and crying but I stayed calm and dissociated myself with the fact that she is gone.

So basically I became numb to the PAIN and moved away when I felt emotionally battered I shifted my focus to studies or be with friends etc. But at one point I felt I am cheating my self as I could not just be all right or pretend I was all right when I was not . I had a tough time accepting that it is all right to be with this PAIN and respect the pain and live it …. I will never complain or make it a reason of my suffering instead will respect this parting away. The pain made me super sensitive to people and their pain and suffering. Healing and consultation needs a lot of empathy, landing into a healing profession and being able to share myself with people in similar situations is a result of knowing and being friendly with the PAIN.

I have realized that PAIN is not a curse or the materialization of our BAD KARMA the way we are told. However it is an opportunity to be present with our self , to be present with our emotions. This is the reason why Buddhism teachings revolve around suffering and PAIN. As children we are always told people who suffer in life are those who have done bad deeds so they have to suffer to neutralize the Karma. Instead the truth is if you use the PAIN to your advantage one can create a whole new meaning of life. The suffering is a result of not being able to to use the pain to our advantage instead trying to run away from it or hide. When we see pain as a deviation from the normal it becomes unacceptable or something that should be avoided so if you are in pain divert your mind, join a dance class, watch a movie or get drunk.

I am sure many of us have tried these escapes but what happens ?? The next time it come in as a more stronger wave of emotion. What if I told you PAIN is good , it is alright perfectly alright to have a failed relationship, it is alright to be hopeless and miserable. When we try things in life there are fair chances to be successful or fail. This is perfectly normal. That is how we learn , somethings are not meant for us …if we all got 100 percent in all our subjects we will never know what we are really really good at.

Our dear President APJ Abdul Kalam wanted to be an Air Force pilot however failed in his exam here is an excerpt from his writing:

I still remember the ache in my heart as I attempted to make sense of what had happened. When a dearly held desire begins to break up, one can feel nothing but despair and emptiness as one tries to come to terms with the end of a dream. I could not bear to be indoors after seeing the result. I had to go out for air and be in the open, because all around me the walls seemed to close in. I walked around for a while till I reached the edge of a cliff. I stood there looking down at the shimmering waters of a lake and wondered what I should do next. Plans needed to be changed and priorities reassessed. I decided to go to Rishikesh for a few days and seek a new way forward.

I was granted an audience with Swami Sivananda himself. My being a Muslim did not affect him in any way. Instead, before I could speak, he asked what had filled me with sorrow. I only fleetingly wondered how he knew about my sadness before I embarked on any explanation of the recent developments in my life. He listened calmly and then washed away my anxieties with a smile of deep peacefulness. His next words were some of the most profound I had ever heard. His feeble yet deep voice still resonates when I think of them: “Accept your destiny and go ahead with your life. You are not destined to become an air force pilot. What you are destined to become is not revealed now but it is predetermined. Forget this failure, as it was essential to lead you to your destined path. Search, instead, for the true purpose of your existence.”

We need no clue as to what happened to this gentleman post his failure 🙂 but at that point in life it was a dream crashing down.He could have mulled over it for life , committed a suicide, got drunk or what ever you can imagine 🙂

In the scheme of larger things there are no mistakes and no coincidences. You are where you are suppose to be at this very moment. Mistakes in life help you to find your way when you are lost. Getting lost is not a crime we were not born with an inbuilt GPS system 😛 right?

A beautiful video clip: It is Perfectly Normal to make mistakes in life, our parents , society, friends have to be compassionate and acceptable to the idea of failure and pain.We will have to change the way we have been looking at people and situations. Today’s generation is taking more risks , trying out more than our previous generations and hence they have more to learn and explore and this can only happen when we learn to fail and accept the pain that follows it.

There are no MISTAKES in life !! I repeat no mistakes it is just how the source brings you back to your life path….so stop grinning ,complaining, cursing instead ask your self what is the next right move… that is it …stop thinking about how big the situation is …you just need that next right move…..

TIPS to Deal with Pain:

1. Be Vulnerable – Allow yourself to be exposed to being ok in asking for help or sharing your story with people. do not shut your self. Most of the time we tell people we are self sufficient and can survive well by meeting our own needs. This is actually a common lie we tell ourselves often because we hesitate to fulfill that need by asking anyone for it as it makes us vulnerable and prone to be rejected or hurt.
However it is empowering to know that we can create people and situations to show up in our reality through manifestation. So we can manifest people having complimentary needs thereby leading to a more fulfilling life.

2.Instead of Looking at your whole life focus on the next right move – Most of us when fail in life we start fearing the uncertainities of life. We want to know what will happen to me 2yrs post a divorce, will I get the right partner, will I be having financial security etc etc. This thought process takes up the strength to move ahead in life.

Instead when we are in a lot of mess the only question we should think about is the next right move and then follow it with next right move and so on. Future is created every moment by moving in the right direction. So just follow your joy. Live an hour better and then the next and it will make up a beautiful day.

3.Create your ME Time – We are living in an ocean of thought forms sometime what we think is a result of what my next door neighbor is projecting in his thoughts. It is very important to distinguish your thoughts from the borrowed thought form of your environment. So take some time out to meditate to be able to connect your self to know what should be your life like.

4. Self Love – This is my favorite remember you cannot love anyone if you do not love yourself. Make your feelings , your life a priority till you get comfortable living it every day. A happy person can only create happiness around himself/herself.

5. Do Service – Do random acts of kindness and create difference in life of others it brings immense amount of joy and we also realize that life is a gift which  should be used well.

Sargam is an experienced Relationship Counsellor and uses energy healing techniques for guidance and healing of emotional issues. She also runs a 21 Day Relationship Healing event with more than 2500 participants online. If you need guidance fix up a skype session, mail your question or fix up a telephonic session, take prior appointment on healingmindbodynsoul@gmail.com

Our Vulnerable Authentic Self

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We judge, love doesn’t. We judge and we judge and we never stop judging for that is all we know what to do.

When we judge we separate from love for it is impossible to be in the heart and to judge at the same time.

We all want to experience our Authentic Self but most of us are living a life putting up different masks. So there are many versions of “Me” : For Friends, for close Relationships, for Professional work and sometimes a version of Me for Me in my dark moments and Me in my Happy Moments.

Can you imagine how much time and effort we spend in maintaining and living these different versions of ME?? And sometimes living so many lives in one life we end up exhausted unable to live the life we really wanted to. Being vulnerable or being our true self is considered a weakness by many of us. It is hard for us to see and accept people when they are open about their life issues and problems. Sometimes we just don’t want to express our sadness and sorrows as we want to deal with them alone. It was really interesting for me when I started on my relationship journey there were interesting situations that just cropped up every few months and I always wonder if my relationship was worth pursuing. Most of my friends appeared super happy, later when we spoke in depth I realized how everyone had their own struggles. Due to our own internal wow of secrecy and The I AM ALRIGHT SYNDROME when things may not be alright at all ; we create barriers and boundaries in relationships. Most issues in relationships are because of avoiding vulnerability. As exposing our weaknesses in a relationship makes us feel powerless , at high risk of being hurt. But we only realize it later that one can develop deeper bonds by connecting with others once we have exposed ourselves completely.

“To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees – these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. But, I’m learning that recognizing and leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude and grace.”

brene brown n vulnerability

Most of us go through similar situations, when a loved one passes away, when we are in a broken relationship, when there are family issues we just act to be ALL RIGHT due to this internal Vow of Secrecy. The fear of being judged and being labelled as vulnerable is so big that we just don’t want to share. So we remain with the wounds for the rest of our life and energetically we obstruct the flow of the life force energy within us.

As human beings we thrive and grow on LOVE ; the moment we create boundaries and barriers for love to flow we restrict the flow of life force energy within us.This manifests as physical and emotional illness. Healing can only happen when we are ready to be vulnerable, when we are open to share the pain and issues no matter how deep and ugly they are.

We talk about feeling One with god and one with all this “Oneness” is only possible when we are able to open ourselves and allow healing of our wounds.Our shadow aspects or darker areas of life can only be healed when we allow or open up to receiving the love and light.

Our Modern medicine system is highly evolved but it fails miserably because by medicine alone we cannot heal the broken heart that causes heart disease. We cannot heal diabetes by injecting and controlling insulin because there needs to be an emotional clearing. We are losing our connection with our own feelings and emotions ; we are unable to listen to what our bodies are telling us. As a friend, a parent or a loved one the only thing we can do is help people be their authentic self ; allow them to be vulnerable to love. We are emotional beings and any healing will not help if it does not address the emotions by touching our hearts. We need healers, counselors and coaches that can help us as friends ,walk with us no matter how broken we are.

When we are vulnerable we put away the fancy airs
we put on and drop our self-image, which is always
hoping to look a little better than we actually feel.

Love n Masks. Sargam

The most important key to finding the Love of the heart  is found in our willingness and ability to be vulnerable”

 

1.Vulnerability is so much easier when you love yourself.

Think about it. When you don’t love all of you and are afraid to show people the less than stellar parts, the space between you and vulnerability is like the Grand Canyon. You will need all the courage you can get to make the leap across.

But when you love yourself, and I mean all of you, you don’t worry so much if someone else doesn’t. And when you’re less afraid of rejection, you step right into that place of openness.

2. Vulnerability takes practice 

You don’t just learn it once and then—ta-dah!—you’re easily open to everything and everyone. It takes constant practice and deliberate choice to be vulnerable.

3. The rewards of vulnerability are immeasurable.

With vulnerability, you experience true connection—true love for yourself—and you begin to attract people to you who are inspired by your openness.

While it’s not easy to be vulnerable, you’d be surprised how loving all of you and then sharing it with another can help you to connect with anyone. In my own life, I’m continuing to open up through my blogs and by sharing my experiences.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”
Brené Brown

Abundance is Your State of Being – 7 Steps to Tune into Abundance

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” Abundance is not Something we Acquire. It is Something We Tune into” – Wayne W Dyer

sargam prosperity

 Most of us lead our life evaluating whether we deserve to be happy, prosperous and successful in life. Most of us start to evaluate our deserving coefficient in childhood when we are told we have to struggle and work really hard or have to be super talented to be abundant in our life. So if we need an expensive toy or a new dress we are just shunned saying money is something which does not grow on trees but is earned in a hard way.  ……………………………………And here starts our hard journey with abundance 🙂

Every thing around us is energy  and once you understand energy and how it affects our health and relationships in the same way it also affects abundance in our life. Abundance is a type of energy and therefore it follows the principles of energy such as attraction and repulsion.To achieve a higher degree of prosperity and abundance therefore, there should be enough prosperity energy in you.

We attract what we are in thoughts , word and actions 🙂 so if you think earning money is not easy it will never be easy for you as energy follows thoughts.  Abundance is our natural state, and the entire physical universe with all its abundance is the offspring of an unbounded, limitless field of all possibilities. The only person who can limit the possibilities for your abundant life is you and no one else.

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If we want to learn and understand the secret of abundance lets just look at the most abundant entity on our planet ; Nature it has not limit itself to few it has abundance of air , water and earth for each one of us and is a constant supply. Nature does not hold back its resources in fear or exhausting them but is generous to give and share with all beings without discrimination. “The Universe is Abundance” and the more we share and give generously it provides us with more as it is a limitless supply.

In order to be receptive to the abundance and prosperity energy here are some personal tips that I want to share with all of you 🙂

1. Cultivate Prosperity Thinking rather than Scarcity Thinking.

We understand what we constantly think and feel shapes our reality so just check for yourself what is your relationship with abundance and prosperity.

A scarcity thought may sounds like this: “There isn’t enough..(time, money, love, trust, etc)”, “I can’t afford that because…” , it is fear based and produces a feeling of anxiety, worry, stress, constriction and tightness. It does not feel good. You can recognize these thoughts by how you feel when they come up. DO a “gut check” and see what your thoughts are telling you.

An abundant thought may sound more like this: “There is always enough.”, “I trust that I am where I am meant to be at this very moment.”, “Money is a renewable resource.”, “I welcome infinite possibilities, I will receive.”, “I have enough.”, ” I am enough.”. These thoughts feel like “truth”, calming, a knowing that you are loved and taken care of, they feel easy and have a natural flow and allowing to them.

2. Gratitude, Gratitude Gratitude

Gratitude, Appreciation and Love are emotions that raise your vibrations instantly and if you understand energy once you are in a high vibration state you can attract more positive situations in life. Remember “We attract what we ARE and not what we WANT” so if you want to attract abundance you have to feel and think abundant and the emotion that represents abundance is Gratitude. I personally maintain a gratitude journal and always find ways to express it. You can find your own way of making it work to your advantage.

3. Tithing (Giving away a portion of your salary to people and organizations that support humanity)

Tithing is actually giving away a 10% of your salary /income to people who help you in your life. You can divide it among your parents (they gave you your body), Spiritual teachers/institutions they feed your soul growth, your Staff (they make your life easy so that you can focus on more meaningful work) and some for charitable organizations helping humanity.

Giving is a characteristic associated with someone with an abundance mindset, Universe is abundance so when you give away a part of your income the universe fills up this vacuum with more than you give away.

4. “What you want in Life Give more of it”

This is a golden rule I have imbibed since becoming a healer, when ever we need anything in our life be it happy relationships, love, money or health start giving it. The moment you give it , it is circulated and comes back to you with even more rigor. Energy is like blood it should keep flowing else it forms a sludge. Abundance, prosperity, health , happiness love are also energy the more you restrict their flow the more you feel depleted of and the more you share the more it circulates back to you.

5. Your Heart is a compass monitor your emotions as a guidance system for your connection to the universal mind of intention.

Strong emotions such as passion and bliss are indications that you’re connected to Spirit, or inspired , if you will. When you’re inspired, you activate dormant forces, and the abundance you seek in any form comes streaming into your life. When you’re experiencing low-energy emotions of rage, anger, hatred, anxiety, despair, and the like, that’s a clue that while your desires may be strong, they’re completely out of sync with the field of intention. Remind yourself in these moments that you want to feel good, and see if you can activate a thought that

6. “SELF Love” 

A person who has no love for self can never be able to love others, the actions will mostly be to be approved by others, so they will spend their life pleasing others in order to get love and appreciation. This attitude obstructs the abundance flow. Abundance is where happiness is and when we give the remote of our happiness to others it is only temporary. So love your self and spend your time in doing what you love the most.

7. Mantra of prosperity from India “Lakshmi Gayatri Mantra”

I wanted to write this blog on the occasion of Diwali a Hindu festival celebrated with lots of zeal and devotion among Indians this is a special festival also associated with Prosperity and abundance and worship of Goddess Lakshmi (The deity for prosperity and abundance) it is on the 23rd of October 2014.

You can play this Mantra in the morning everyday as a prayer to start your day in Abundance

Sargam Lakshmi Gayatri mantra for abundance

Here is the link to the audio of Lakshmi Gayatri Mantra

May Goddess Lakshmi shower you with Abundance in Life this Diwali ❤  – Lots of Love and Best Wishes Sargam ❤

Personal recommendation for people who want to heal their life and cultivate the Abundance consciousness to enrol for MCKS Kriyashakti program.

Understanding Your Excess Weight and Letting it Go – Spiritual and Energetic Approach

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“Manifesting your perfect weight is a natural result of realigning with your true self ” – Marianne Williamson

Have been waiting so long to write on this topic 🙂 but it is never too late to pen it down even now. Weight management has been a dear topic for me for last 15 years. Something I have read, researched and experimented myself. We are all born a few pounds in weight and gradually as we grow we keep on putting many more pounds; till one day we realize the few pounds are visible spilling from our clothes. This revelation for some creates an alarm these people take control of their health while for the others we get depressed and start detesting ourselves.

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This blog is for the latter type , the depressed, over critical, lazy bums who start seeing food as the forbidden apple and still go ahead and sneak a slice of pizza or a chocolate and then beat themselves up. Food is highly emotional , when we are happy we feast when we are sad we binge. Food is an essential part of our lives and one of the ways to share love and affection. In Indian families mothers spend most of the the time cooking for the family pouring all their love in desserts and delicacies 🙂 So we cannot do much about food it will be around us tempting and enticing but yes some changes can be made and most of us have also adapted to healthy eating.

With my experience of 78 kgs (172 pounds) in 2007-2008 ; I realized even with a normal diet and moderate activity I  just gained around 8 kgs approx with ease and did not realize till I stepped on a weighing scale. For most of us weight gain just happens and it is so gradual that we are unable to notice till we get a critical compliment from our friends/colleagues or partners 😉

I am a certified Pranic Healer and lately I attended a course on Pranic Weightloss and Body Sculpting and was so surprised to learn that excess weight is nothing but energy , it is an energy that is stuck up due to our emotions. It has not much to do with exercise or dieting. Our bodies are completely neutral the way they behave is an effect rather than a cause. What has to be consumed, stored or expelled out of the body is the work of our mind.

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Let us understand this stuck up energy , we understand that our bodies metabolism and secretions of hormones are controlled through the brain activity , the brain works as a response to our thoughts. Thoughts are broadly divided into Fear based thoughts and Love based thoughts. The cause of excess fat in the body is fear which blocks out love.

I know you must be thinking most of the fat people look happier 🙂 but it is an external appearance put up these beautiful people mostly. When we do a session the emotions of under confidence,low self esteem and a habit of  constant negative self talk is observed. The fear based thoughts include, shame, insecurity and low self esteem. These thoughts have energy which is contracting and dark grey and this can be felt while scanning. These are really old thought forms that get stuck and refuse to move even with best of diet plan and exercise regime. So your fat is all the anger and hate you have directed to yourself and others.

The world renowned author Louis L. Hay in her book, You Can Heal Your Life, writes that the probable causes of excess weight are: Fear; need for protection; Running away from feelings; Insecurity, self-rejection, Seeking fulfillment, and others She goes on to say, “Fat is related to Over sensitivity. Often represents fear and shows a need for protection. Fear may be a cover for hidden anger and a resistance to forgive.”

According to Louise, fat in the arms can mean “anger at being denied love.” Fat on the belly can mean “anger at being denied nourishment” and fat on the hips can be “lumps of stubborn anger at the parents”. Even fat on the thighs can be “packed childhood anger, often rage at the father.

Interesting isn’t it?  Most of us hold on to fat to mask our insecurities in relationships, work, life ahead etc etc. Our natural state is Love and love is detachment, love is letting go. The energy of love is moving , it is expansive. So whether it is relationships or food if we practice detachment we show love.Obsession for either a person or for any substance happens when we are ready to give and do not know how to receive. We keep holding for more because we do not feel we are getting back the desired response.

Life is all about creating a love affair and if we do so with our food and bodies the response is amazing. Trust me your body needs your love and appreciation as much as other people in your life or even more. Here are few suggestions that you can include in your day to day life :

Tips for a Spiritual Weight Loss 🙂

1. Make some time to be with self – Take out 30 minutes in a day for yourself where you can just focus on your self this is your time of “self love”

2. ‘Mirror’ – Your best friend – I keep hearing my friends and family complaining that I am obsessed with mirrors; and I openly admit I am I deliberately made it a habit to smile and mentally say “I love you gorgeous”  when ever I see a mirror. Next time you catch me smiling just like that you will know what I am thinking. This helps in lifting your self esteem.

3. Project love to your body – Your body is the  temple of your soul no matter what it looks like it is sacred. Always remember you cannot do away with anything you are in resistance with. You will have to first accept yourself with whatever weight you are right now and then only you will be able to condition it to look its best. So mentally do an affirmation ” I approve of my self, I salute the divinity within me and I promise to maintain a healthy relationship with my body through my mind”

4.Bless anything that you put into your mouth – Food/Water any edible stuff just mentally bless it, as per Masaru Emoto’s experiment on water thoughts impact our reality so when we bless any negative energy that the food is cooked with or projected with is neutralized and is fortified with nourishment.

5. Surrender yourself to Source – When a fetus is 9 months in the womb of a mother there is a source that takes care of it , most of us are born healthy and normal. This is because nature is self correcting and providing.The minute the baby is born the parents take control and all hell breaks lose. We forget that we are all made in the image of god we are born to follow our bliss and encourage others to do the same. So whether it is your excess weight, it is your issues and problems just surrender them to source. Remember the emotional baggage will become the excess weight better to leave it to the God than carry it with you 😉

You can also visit a certified Pranic healer for Pranic Weight loss and Body Sculpting program. As I said I had my own journey with weight loss and self image here is a sneak peak :). We are not forever stuck with a fat, obese body the moment we choose to let go of our weight the transformation begins 🙂

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I will send a short visualization meditation to all the readers who will comment on this blog 🙂 – Much Love Sargam

 

Sharing a lovely meditation for weightloss with all of you