picture courtesy internet
“The minute I heard my first love story,I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.They’re in each other all along.”
― Rumi, The Illuminated Rumi
Relationships are getting challenging in recent times, there is a constant struggle between partners as to who is the BOSS 🙂 With women taking up power positions and men losing the role as providers in a family there are obvious insecurities in relationships. A midst all this people still want to have loving and nurturing relationships as love is the food we all crave for.
Two people can be in a relationship only if they are a vibrational match to each other. You attract people into your life who mirror what you give. In other words, what you vibrate, is what comes back to you – and there is no vibration higher than LOVE.
What ever we want in love it can only come to you if you start giving it without conditions. Most of the people want their relationships to run one way. So we find either of the couple only giving or only receiving and then the relationships reaches a crisis where the one who is only giving has no more left to give and the other who is receiving can no more receive.
Also a very salient feature in love is “YOU CANNOT GIVE WHAT YOU DO NOT HAVE” it also applies materialistically 🙂 So the number one thing is to keep your love tank full by first loving yourself and accept yourself unconditionally. No one in the world can make you feel worthy if you yourself reject yourself.
Love IS or it IS’NT there is nothing like I loved you a year back, but not now …. if it is so the case then it was never LOVE 🙂
Most of the us hurt ourselves time and again to gain love and empathy or to test our loved ones and finally, get hurt as the response is not what we expect. We have a hard time accepting ourselves and we continue tp tax our partners for not filling the gap.
Change is inevitable but no one can change the other person, LOVE IS ABOUT ACCEPTANCE OF GOOD BAD and UGLY and being non judgmental. Security in love is when there is no I or YOU it is WE, the insecurity is only when there is EGO.
“Be Love in all ways, show love for yourself , respect yourself , practice self freedom, practice self trust and sincerity for your own self and then only then you can be LOVE”
It’s a story of hope. For twenty years, The 5 Love Languages has been improving marriages… one language at a time
Our emotional selves are like children that never ever grow up no matter how ascended(evolved) we are. We all just have to learn to parent ourselves in a way that we have never been parented. It is as simple like this..when a kid gets angry we do not condemn him instead we embrace them this is what we need to do to ourselves when we are angry/miserable.
Anger is just like a red flag that there are unresolved issues that need to be addressed with love and approval within ourselves. This emotion has to be treated by YOU just like a kid who has no one in the room except YOU to help out.
Society has conditioned us in a way that if something is going wrong we should either hide it or push ourselves harder to overcome it but this is worse to go somewhere. How hard can you try with people/situations/relationships where you do not have control? You don’t have to try hard to please them and make it work instead you have to just love and approve for all the fear that you have within.
So try to be a better parent for that emotional kid you have within ..it needs you more than anyone and no one except you can embrace it. No body in the world can love it the way you can. Here is a simple technique by Thich Naht Hahn
Seven simple steps to embrace your emotional self:
Through bringing our attention to the image of our painful thoughts and emotions, and tending to it with an open heart, we’re doing the most natural thing we can—expressing love. Instead of ostracize our uncomfortable thoughts and emotions accept and embrace them with love.
The thoughts and emotions will often subside very quickly. Sometimes, however, they aren’t ready to go so fast, and that’s fine. When we initially tell them we’d be with them as long as they need us, we were sincere in that intention. So when the thoughts and emotions bother us, we honor and hold them dearly in our heart for as long as it takes.