Free from desire, you realize the mystery.
Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.
―Lao Tzu (Taoism)
Desire has been an interesting topic among spiritual enthusiast. As stated in the quote above most of the school of thoughts teach us to be free of all our desires to attain moksha. I have always been wondering why try so hard to not desire when it is easy to experience and let go. Let us try to understand what is Desire? The deeply ingrained tendencies of attachments and desire are often referred to by the English translation “earthly desires.” However, since they also include hatred, arrogance, distrust and fear, the translation “deluded impulses” may in some cases be more appropriate.
But can such desires and attachments really be eliminated? Attachments are, after all, natural human feelings, and desires are a vital and necessary aspect of life. The desire, for example, to protect oneself and one’s loved ones has been the inspiration for a wide range of advances–from the creation of supportive social groupings to the development of housing and heating. Likewise, the desire to understand humanity’s place in the cosmos has driven the development of philosophy, literature and religious thought. Desires are integral to who we are and who we seek to become.
In this sense, the elimination of all desire is neither possible nor, in fact, desirable. Were we to completely rid ourselves of desire, we would end up undermining our individual and collective will to live. Many of the spiritual gurus and holy texts emphasize on being completely free of desire to attain enlightenment , but if we were to think even the desire to not desire is also a desire 🙂
Desire is also a means of creation so if we were to understand, for e.g. when we give birth to a desire then we are introducing new possibilities of creation in the universe. The suffering is not from the desires but from the fact whether we will be able to fulfill the desires. When we start seeing our self incapable and non deserving of achieving our desires we suffer.
In other words, desire is not the cause of suffering; it is the opposite of suffering. Desire is what feels good. The truth is, desire is good. Desire is what keeps us going in life. It’s not getting stuff that makes us happy, it’s wanting stuff, hoping for stuff, dreaming of stuff – stuff like love, success, adventure, or meaning. Desire itself is the payoff!
Sure, sometimes we’re frustrated. Sometimes we get what we want, only to find out that it’s not as great as we thought. But to try to eliminate the central feature of a good human life just because of these stumbling blocks is to throw the baby out with the bathwater. These stumbling blocks are a necessary cost of leading a good human life.
I had this interesting conversation with a friend who just shared a perspective on desire, the happiness associated with the fulfillment of desire is temporary it goes away once a desire is fulfilled but what is even more long lasting is the happiness of having one less desire from the laundry list of desires we have…when we evolve spiritually the desires also under go transformation , so they are no longer deluded impulses but they become more service oriented, they are more towards larger good and oneness.Desires and attachments are then seen as fueling the quest for enlightenment.
The whole idea is to desire from a state of being complete, there is nothing in this universe that we do not deserve, whether it is health, happiness, abundance or even moksha, nirvana all that is ever there and all that will ever be is owned by each one of us it is just our own inhibitions and lack in self that keeps us away from it.
When you know that you lack nothing, that all there is, is you and yours, desire ceases.
Hindus talk about Atman, or your true Self, and say that “you are that”. Buddhists talk about suchness, or tathagata, and say that the nature of mind has no self. On the face of it they are saying the exact opposite, and yet it’s also been said that they are saying the exact same thing. It takes a lot of meditation and study to know why they are saying the same thing. Every thought movement you have is you. It is Buddha mind. When taught to meditate, you are taught to not push away thoughts – if you have a desire, don’t stop it – don’t push it away – just notice it. Anything that we resist is persists so whether it is our thoughts while meditation or our desires , if we will resist it they will occur again and again. You start by dis-identifying with it. By noticing it, it is no longer you. But later your awareness becomes more encompassing and it makes just as much sense to say that everything that occurs is you.
So once you understand that whatever you desire is there for you ; life is all about what is worth the desire 🙂 . You just need to be mindful in keeping your desires out to the universe as they will be fulfilled …. ‘The Secret’ ‘Law of Attraction’ ‘Synchronicity’ all are tools . You are a luminous light being and a master manifestor when you open your heart to your highest good there is nothing that will not show up in your reality.
“When you really desire something, All the Universe conspires to achieve it for YOU” – Paulo Coelho
So if you are skeptical about the Paulo Coelho Quote read the abridged version, the secret lies in being in alignment with your soul /higher self/ buddha nature.
*The views expressed are totally an individual’s perspective with due respect to all gurus and religions.
The Third most influential Teacher in the world Dr Wayne Dyer in Wishes Fulfilled
“Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.”
– The Prophet Kahlil Gibran
Love is the most amazing human emotion and the most misinterpreted one as well . After a decade of falling in love and being married and hearing and sorting out marriages and love stories of friends my idea of love has evolved too. I feel , possessiveness, sacrificing, worrying, over protectiveness, and expecting others to change is not love. As parents taking decision on kids behalf in the name of “I care and I know your good better” is not love. Deciding a child’s career or the right partner or even friends and not allowing the child to try his own will is not love. Forcing a child to compete , whether it is by saying see your friend eats much faster than you or he gets better grades is definitely not love.
Every time someone does anything for us we label it as LOVE and when people do not fit in that label anymore we say they do not LOVE us. So What is actually LOVE? A new born child is a perfect example of what LOVE is ;it is just being the authentic self, no conditions attached. Whether he/she cries, gets cranky or has forced you into sleepless nights. The only thing you can do about it is enjoy its BEING , you still feed it, change its nappy and try to put it to sleep.And a smile on the toddler just makes your heart GROW. As parents most of our preconceived notions of love change so the equation of give and take just changes. We do not seek to change our baby but rather start appreciating the blessing the beauty it already is.
When I speak to couples going through relationship issues during counselling sessions the whole conversation revolves around ‘I thought he/she would change and adjust as per my needs, as per my family needs, she will sacrifice, compromise… Oh I married just because I thought he/she will grow up, be more responsible, work on her self’ etc etc etc….. there is a list of HOW I WISH ….. and that is the end of the relationship 🙂
During healing sessions projecting lots of love and affection towards the patient makes healing quicker. Sometimes I hear comments like no one has cared for me the way you do and I find it really sad to see that love is rare and may want to label through a relationship/friendship etc. There are no different kinds of LOVE believe me there is nothing like a child’s love, a mother’s love, god’s love , healer’s love .. 😛 LOVE is just LOVE. We just experience the depth of love being in all different roles .Love is tenderness of mother’s care, love is boyfriend’s hug, love is when a father hold her child’s hand while crossing the road, love is in mom’s food, friend’s care, silence after a kiss 🙂
If you are unable to find a deep intimate relationship in your life the reason is not because you are unable to find LOVE but your own distorted understanding of Love. Love is about the intimacy two individuals share from a space of total comfort. Where you allow the person to see through you; you do not force the person to see you the way you project but much more deep. So the elementary knowledge of love that we see in movies, in fairy tales does not work in real life real intimate love is more like a Ph D 😉
Love is not about idealizing the projected image of a partner or our own opinion and picture of them instead it is about going deep and exploring the real person he/she is and expressing appreciation and gratitude for this being. There is no person on this planet who is not worthy of love as we all are made in that essence.
As Marianne Williamson says” It is’nt the absence of people in our life that causes pain, but rather what we do with them when they’re there.”
So when we get a loving girlfriend , we forget our parents, when we get a beautiful wife we forget our friends , when we get women to have fun outside marriage we forget our wife……….so in reality we are never able to nourish any relationship and in the end we are ALONE.
You know why a search for love is endless?? As the love we seek is always there within us. So the day you have understood love, love will find you no matter where you are. Love can be beautifully understood from nature.
“And still, after all this time, the Sun has never said to the Earth, “You owe me.” Look what happens with love like that. It lights up the sky. – Rumi (Hafiz)
Great romantic relationships are based on intimacy and appreciation and by helping them access their highest . The fairy tale called “The Frog Prince” reveals a deep psychological connection between our attitudes towards people and their capacity for transformation. In the story, a princess kisses a frog and he becomes a prince. What this signifies is the miraculous power of love to create a context in which people naturally blossom into their highest potential. Neither nagging to get people to change, criticizing or fixing can do that.
You can only understand people in life if you can love them. “What is not Loved is not Understood” We hold our self separate and wait people to earn our love. But people deserve our love for what they were created to be and that is their Authentic Self. As long as we wait for them to be anything better, we will constantly be disappointed.
When we choose to approve and give pure love to people , the miracle kicks both ways – This is the key – Love Sargam
When I See YOUR FACE IS NOT A THING I WILL CHANGE BECAUSE GIRL YOU ARE AMAZING JUST THE WAY YOU ARE – Bruno Mars
“The minute I heard my first love story,I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.They’re in each other all along.”
― Rumi, The Illuminated Rumi
Relationships are getting challenging in recent times, there is a constant struggle between partners as to who is the BOSS 🙂 With women taking up power positions and men losing the role as providers in a family there are obvious insecurities in relationships. A midst all this people still want to have loving and nurturing relationships as love is the food we all crave for.
Two people can be in a relationship only if they are a vibrational match to each other. You attract people into your life who mirror what you give. In other words, what you vibrate, is what comes back to you – and there is no vibration higher than LOVE.
What ever we want in love it can only come to you if you start giving it without conditions. Most of the people want their relationships to run one way. So we find either of the couple only giving or only receiving and then the relationships reaches a crisis where the one who is only giving has no more left to give and the other who is receiving can no more receive.
Also a very salient feature in love is “YOU CANNOT GIVE WHAT YOU DO NOT HAVE” it also applies materialistically 🙂 So the number one thing is to keep your love tank full by first loving yourself and accept yourself unconditionally. No one in the world can make you feel worthy if you yourself reject yourself.
Love IS or it IS’NT there is nothing like I loved you a year back, but not now …. if it is so the case then it was never LOVE 🙂
Most of the us hurt ourselves time and again to gain love and empathy or to test our loved ones and finally, get hurt as the response is not what we expect. We have a hard time accepting ourselves and we continue tp tax our partners for not filling the gap.
Change is inevitable but no one can change the other person, LOVE IS ABOUT ACCEPTANCE OF GOOD BAD and UGLY and being non judgmental. Security in love is when there is no I or YOU it is WE, the insecurity is only when there is EGO.
“Be Love in all ways, show love for yourself , respect yourself , practice self freedom, practice self trust and sincerity for your own self and then only then you can be LOVE”
It’s a story of hope. For twenty years, The 5 Love Languages has been improving marriages… one language at a time
We are living Magnets and the relationships we are in currently are because of us :). Yes of course if you want to know what kind of energy you are look around and see the people you are with. Two people exist if they are a vibrational match to each other and will continue only till they are a match.
Relationships, soul mates that we meet on our journey of life at first seems to be a perfect answer as it complete the missing experiences in our lives but as we evolve our vibration changes and if either of the mate is slow in his/her expansion we see conflicts.
Often people believe finding a mate who loves them will be the answer to everything missing in their life experience. They want to find that one person who will, in essence, complete them. And almost without exception, they want that person, right here, right now!
If you are seeking a joyful relationship, you must become joyful first. Asking for a relationship to make you joyful is a backwards approach. If you are seeking a satisfying relationship, you must become satisfied first. If you are seeking a relationship full of fun and great timing and excitement, you must become full of fun and great timing and excitement, first.
How you feel equals who you are. And who-you-are equals everything that comes to you.
“We attract lovers from our level of energy. Take your time to raise your vibration and attract from a higher vibration. If you want to live happily ever after learn to manage your emotions and make joy the most important experience. It’s ever so much more satisfying to get into a blissful place and attract a blissful person and live blissfully hereafter than to be in a negative place and attract a negative partner and then try to get happy from that negative place.”
– Inspired from articles of Abraham Hicks and Law of Attraction
This is an Interesting Title I am not sure if you can guess what this is about 🙂 . I just happen to read a post, “When you learn HOW to suffer, you suffer much less!” Most of our life incidents become a story especially the bad ones , I mean when we are really put to test. The suffering from the unpleasant experience alone is enough to create a turbulence in mind and heart but it gets worse when we marinate it.
Focus on life stories that make you smile , that make your heart fill with love and gratitude it will help you and others as well by attracting more happy things in life.