Tag Archives: attract love

Nov9

Relationship Vows and Woes (Promiscuity/Infidelity Vs Committed Relationship)

Posted on November 9, 2015 by Sargam Mishra

Relationship Vows and Woes Sargam Mishra
Very often, we find that two people who come together out of love grow apart as the years go by in a relationship. People who had vowed to be together or were committed to be in a relationship for a lifetime are seen thinking or acting out on exploring options in life. I have been wondering over this for years as I myself have been in a long committed relationship for nearly 15 years now and completing my 8th year of marriage. Trust me it was never easy as we both evolved through our relationship and walked our own life paths. Life brought up different situations and lessons to be handled from shades of greys to white. In today’s world 15 years with a single person does seem a long time :). With my own sweet and sour experience of this one relationship I end up being a Relationship Counsellor and Healer . Now the situation is nearly every day I am either observing or participating in relationship set ups and philosophies of my friends and clients.

I still have my moments of doubts on what is right or what is wrong ? Many a times I have noticed that it is hard to counsel people as they have such justifications for all the mess in their life due to relationships.Many of my friends/clients are still single even after being in several relationships one after the other , while some are married but have their own philosophies on marriage and promiscuity/emotional affairs etc. Still there are these lifetime vows that a couple takes during the marriage ceremonies ..till death do us apart and ends up breaking them sometimes within few months.

Today, we are living in a culture where it is not necessary that we have lived with one partner all our life. Things have changed over the time. A partner comes with an expiry date. When one gets in a relationship we think it is going to last forever, but within three months we start questioning our decision and think, “Oh, why the hell am I with this person?”

24 by 7 relationships are under scrutiny, they are being judged based on what you like about the relationship /partner and what you dislike.This constant evaluation restricts us from experiencing the person as he or she is. Instead we are always in the mode of analyzing how he or she could be better by suiting our requirements (Likes and Dislikes). Because of this, it is always off and on, off and on. When a relationship goes through so much internal scrutiny it cannot last long. This gives rise to promiscuity, adultery, emotional affairs and multiple partners causing enormous pain and suffering, which is totally unnecessary. I was in Greece when my husband was sharing that even in Greek culture people marry for having good quality kids so the parents look for the best match. In the Hindu system till date we have arrange marriages based on horoscope matching , however it is changing gradually. From love marriages being arranged to acceptance of love marriages and now even live in setup we are gradually accepting the changes. So we are catching up with the West 🙂

I have met several people in situations during counselling sessions and in my personal life where I was face to face with the question as to why should one limit one self to a long and boring monogamous relationship when one can have sex or be emotionally attached with multiple partners, a few nights here, a few weeks there, over and over again? We see others having a great time in such a set up and some just blame it all on God 🙂 if it was not suppose to be it would not have been.

Now if we can understand God and the humongous responsibility of billions of people on Earth and then several others on other planets and who knows many galaxies. He must be too busy to schedule and plan multiple relationships in your life. I am sure he has better things to do. So this is something you are creating based on your choice which is driven by your needs and your character (evolved over a period of time). In Spiritual world the sex energy is the source of all creation, it helps in awakening Kundalini and is a gateway to yoga of highest kind.However considering the slow evolution of the human being it was used and abused to satisfy the lower nature (animal instincts) of human being. Now if we understand energy anytime you interact closely with any person you experience entanglement of your energy. If you do this exercise of falling in and out of love too often, if you go on playing around with too many people, after some time you will become numb, you do not like anybody because your emotions and the response of your body to these emotions is numb.

Remember how easy it is to remember an exclusive experience? Your first kiss or your first date but when you are with several people then your mind will be constantly comparing all the experiences. This subtle energy entanglement or entanglement of physical, emotional and mental bodies is called Runanubandha or entanglement.

Recently I met a lady (50 years old) married having a 21 year old kid she had undergone a surgery, a major surgery and she was confiding how she was having the memories of the beautiful time spent with her boyfriend before marriage. She was feeling extremely guilty as she could not understand why were these thoughts haunting her after more than 30 years of her marriage. She approached me to help her come out of this guilt and help erase these feelings from her energy body using healing. As a Pranic Healer it was an interesting assignment for me but again it made me think how every cell in our body is designed to store memory. A single cell knows where it has to be placed in the body ; it knows whether it will grow as a tooth or a an organ or help build the bone. This was phenomenal aha moment for me. So if like me you thought the brain is the mind it is not. Brain is just a part of the body. Mind is a combination of memory and intelligence.The body has far more memory than the brain and this is the basis of genetics. Your body still actively remembers what happened a million years ago. Genetics is just memory. So today if my eyes look like my great grand mom this is because of the memory stored within my genes in the body. In Indian culture, this physical memory is called runanu bandha. It is our memory that binds us to things around us.

An interesting video by Sadhguru on Mind

An interesting example is given by Sadhguru

“Suppose you went home and you forgot who your father and mother are, what would you do? It is not the blood or the love, it is the memory that tells you this person is your mother or father. It is only memory that breeds relationship and bondage. If you lose your memory, anyone will look like an absolute stranger to you.”

When people have sex with each other, the mind may forget it, but the body will never forget. If you get a divorce, no matter how much you hate your spouse – still you will go through pain because the physical memory can never be lost.

Even if you just hold someone’s hand intimately enough for a certain period of time, this will never be forgotten, because your palms and your soles are very effective receptors.It is best to limit intimacy to the minimum. Today so many of us are driven to find true purpose of our lives, we want to meditate and gain more than just money and fame.Imagine if your energies are so entangled you are no longer you. You are an accumulation of energy from various sources some you have no idea about. This was the idea for having a committed relationship.The body needs stable memory – people feel this. Their spouse may not be physically great or intellectually great, they may be quarreling on the surface, but still they would sacrifice anything to be with them, because somewhere, they understand that this gives them maximum comfort and wellbeing. This is because your physical memory rules your life much, much more than your mental memory. The very way you are right now is ruled by your physical memory, not by your mental memory.

That is why monogamy is still preferred, unless one of them dies and the other one remarries. But now, before you are 25, you had 25 partners – people are already paying the price for that – 10% of the population in the United States is on antidepressants. One major contributing factor is they do not know where they belong, because the body is confused.

More insights on erasing the physical memory can be found:

http://www.ishafoundation.org/blog/lifestyle/relationships/exclusive-committed-relationship/

After a lot of reflection the only thing that I could conclude was that there is nothing as right or wrong it is a choice. “So have I committed a sin by being promiscuous? Being in a committed relationship will I go to heaven? Or have a super happy life?? It is not on that level. Every action has a consequence. This is not a moralistic reality; it is a certain existential process. If you do certain things with your mind, certain consequences will come. If you do certain things with your body, certain consequences will come. The decision was and is always yours.

Lots of Love!

Sargam

Feb11

Mindful Relationships – Love In the Present

Posted on February 11, 2015 by Sargam Mishra

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There are many couples who resent about how they had thought their partner would transform post marriage/ committed relationships.Some expect a formal husband and wife relationship after being friends for years..others fantasize their partners to change their lifestyle (e.g. quit smoking, lose weight, curtail being with friends)..but most of the times the outcome of such illusions is resentments. When we expect people to change or put conditions in any relationship we are not in Love with their authentic self but in love with our own expectations.
When you Love someone , Love them for who they are not for what they can be. Life is all about “Loving in the PRESENT”

Jan8

FREE ONLINE RELATIONSHIP HEALING AND BLESSING EVENT (1st Feb 2015- 21st Feb 2015)

Posted on January 8, 2015 by Sargam Mishra

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All relationships are based on Energy. Positive relationships reflect intimacy in every aspect of togetherness: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. The energy of a loving couple in an intimate relationship blends in a harmonious way, allowing love and good emotions to flow between them easily and freely.

Conversely, when a couple is in a poor relationship, arguing and fighting, the energy fields don’t blend and flow. They actually clash and repel, manifesting as even more painful friction.

Master Choa Kok Sui Pranic Healing® utilizes esoteric techniques to disintegrate the negative thoughts and emotions of couples. This helps empower individuals to react less to negative energies, while promoting good energy to flow freely between both partners in a relationship.

The next step is to increase intimacy. Often couples fail to understand that intimacy is about more than sex. When intimacy exists only in the physical body, it tends to fade when the physical body changes.

The same is true on an emotional level. When emotions change, so does the intimacy. The heart chakras of two people have to be highly activated and in tune to each other to form a “heart connection”. This energetic method makes loving each other “effortless”.

On the mental level, people often put their partner’s faults and weakness under a “microscope” rather than focusing on the positive traits. An easy technique is to mentally enhance the positive qualities your partner has, no matter how small.

First, silently do an inventory of their positive qualities. Then mentally praise him/her for the good things you see in them. And finally, physically tell the person how wonderful and special they are. Do this on a regular basis, especially when things are rough. Shower them with good energy and positive feedback and watch them bloom as they aspire to live up to your praise.

From a spiritual standpoint, it is important that the energy fields of two people in a relationship merge together. When we project love, love is projected back to us. We have the Power to literally harness energy to create positive effects and invoke healing in our relationships.

In Pranic Healing, to energetically heal and create successful and loving relationships, it is very important to practice the Meditation On Twin Hearts. This will help flush out the stress energies one accumulates from a stressful day. This powerful meditation first activates the Heart Chakra that helps you become more understanding of your partner. Then the Crown Chakra is activated to experience Soul Oneness. This simple meditation is great for removing anger, stress and resentment, as well as enhancing the loving nature within you and your partner.

To get the best effect, a couple should practice these simple techniques together to experience a merging of the aura and chakras. With more practice they can even experience a merging of the body, the mind, the heart and souls!

Invite your Friends and Family members to experience Free Healing and Blessing for 21 days to help them Transform their Relationships.Please volunteer as Healers (Energy healing practitioners of any modality) who will be healing the group energy for Lovable Relationships.And the people who want to Bless and be blessed ..send me your names (Message me using PM) I will maintain the list. Lets gift Love and Happiness to our friends and families and flood our planet with LOVE

Event Page : https://www.facebook.com/events/652557748200426/

Relationship Healing Online Event http://www.awarenessmag.com/mayjun06/mj06_rapid_emotional.htm

Oct7

Abundance is Your State of Being – 7 Steps to Tune into Abundance

Posted on October 7, 2014 by Sargam Mishra

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” Abundance is not Something we Acquire. It is Something We Tune into” – Wayne W Dyer

Most of us lead our life evaluating whether we deserve to be happy, prosperous and successful in life. Most of us start to evaluate our deserving coefficient in childhood when we are told we have to struggle and work really hard or have to be super talented to be abundant in our life. So if we need an expensive toy or a new dress we are just shunned saying money is something which does not grow on trees but is earned in a hard way. ……………………………………And here starts our hard journey with abundance 🙂

Every thing around us is energy and once you understand energy and how it affects our health and relationships in the same way it also affects abundance in our life. Abundance is a type of energy and therefore it follows the principles of energy such as attraction and repulsion.To achieve a higher degree of prosperity and abundance therefore, there should be enough prosperity energy in you.

We attract what we are in thoughts , word and actions 🙂 so if you think earning money is not easy it will never be easy for you as energy follows thoughts. Abundance is our natural state, and the entire physical universe with all its abundance is the offspring of an unbounded, limitless field of all possibilities. The only person who can limit the possibilities for your abundant life is you and no one else.

If we want to learn and understand the secret of abundance lets just look at the most abundant entity on our planet ; Nature it has not limit itself to few it has abundance of air , water and earth for each one of us and is a constant supply. Nature does not hold back its resources in fear or exhausting them but is generous to give and share with all beings without discrimination. “The Universe is Abundance” and the more we share and give generously it provides us with more as it is a limitless supply.

In order to be receptive to the abundance and prosperity energy here are some personal tips that I want to share with all of you 🙂

1. Cultivate Prosperity Thinking rather than Scarcity Thinking.

We understand what we constantly think and feel shapes our reality so just check for yourself what is your relationship with abundance and prosperity.

A scarcity thought may sounds like this: “There isn’t enough..(time, money, love, trust, etc)”, “I can’t afford that because…” , it is fear based and produces a feeling of anxiety, worry, stress, constriction and tightness. It does not feel good. You can recognize these thoughts by how you feel when they come up. DO a “gut check” and see what your thoughts are telling you.

An abundant thought may sound more like this: “There is always enough.”, “I trust that I am where I am meant to be at this very moment.”, “Money is a renewable resource.”, “I welcome infinite possibilities, I will receive.”, “I have enough.”, ” I am enough.”. These thoughts feel like “truth”, calming, a knowing that you are loved and taken care of, they feel easy and have a natural flow and allowing to them.

2. Gratitude, Gratitude Gratitude

Gratitude, Appreciation and Love are emotions that raise your vibrations instantly and if you understand energy once you are in a high vibration state you can attract more positive situations in life. Remember “We attract what we ARE and not what we WANT” so if you want to attract abundance you have to feel and think abundant and the emotion that represents abundance is Gratitude. I personally maintain a gratitude journal and always find ways to express it. You can find your own way of making it work to your advantage.

3. Tithing (Giving away a portion of your salary to people and organizations that support humanity)

Tithing is actually giving away a 10% of your salary /income to people who help you in your life. You can divide it among your parents (they gave you your body), Spiritual teachers/institutions they feed your soul growth, your Staff (they make your life easy so that you can focus on more meaningful work) and some for charitable organizations helping humanity.

Giving is a characteristic associated with someone with an abundance mindset, Universe is abundance so when you give away a part of your income the universe fills up this vacuum with more than you give away.

4. “What you want in Life Give more of it”

This is a golden rule I have imbibed since becoming a healer, when ever we need anything in our life be it happy relationships, love, money or health start giving it. The moment you give it , it is circulated and comes back to you with even more rigor. Energy is like blood it should keep flowing else it forms a sludge. Abundance, prosperity, health , happiness love are also energy the more you restrict their flow the more you feel depleted of and the more you share the more it circulates back to you.

5. Your Heart is a compass monitor your emotions as a guidance system for your connection to the universal mind of intention.

Strong emotions such as passion and bliss are indications that you’re connected to Spirit, or inspired , if you will. When you’re inspired, you activate dormant forces, and the abundance you seek in any form comes streaming into your life. When you’re experiencing low-energy emotions of rage, anger, hatred, anxiety, despair, and the like, that’s a clue that while your desires may be strong, they’re completely out of sync with the field of intention. Remind yourself in these moments that you want to feel good, and see if you can activate a thought that

6. “SELF Love”

A person who has no love for self can never be able to love others, the actions will mostly be to be approved by others, so they will spend their life pleasing others in order to get love and appreciation. This attitude obstructs the abundance flow. Abundance is where happiness is and when we give the remote of our happiness to others it is only temporary. So love your self and spend your time in doing what you love the most.

7. Mantra of prosperity from India “Lakshmi Gayatri Mantra”

I wanted to write this blog on the occasion of Diwali a Hindu festival celebrated with lots of zeal and devotion among Indians this is a special festival also associated with Prosperity and abundance and worship of Goddess Lakshmi (The deity for prosperity and abundance) it is on the 23rd of October 2014.

You can play this Mantra in the morning everyday as a prayer to start your day in Abundance

Here is the link to the audio of Lakshmi Gayatri Mantra

May Goddess Lakshmi shower you with Abundance in Life this Diwali ❤ – Lots of Love and Best Wishes Sargam ❤

Personal recommendation for people who want to heal their life and cultivate the Abundance consciousness to enrol for MCKS Kriyashakti program.

Aug31

Come Lets Return To Love

Posted on August 31, 2014 by Sargam Mishra

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“Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.”

– The Prophet Kahlil Gibran

Love is the most amazing human emotion and the most misinterpreted one as well . After a decade of falling in love and being married and hearing and sorting out marriages and love stories of friends my idea of love has evolved too. I feel , possessiveness, sacrificing, worrying, over protectiveness, and expecting others to change is not love. As parents taking decision on kids behalf in the name of “I care and I know your good better” is not love. Deciding a child’s career or the right partner or even friends and not allowing the child to try his own will is not love. Forcing a child to compete , whether it is by saying see your friend eats much faster than you or he gets better grades is definitely not love.

Every time someone does anything for us we label it as LOVE and when people do not fit in that label anymore we say they do not LOVE us. So What is actually LOVE? A new born child is a perfect example of what LOVE is ;it is just being the authentic self, no conditions attached. Whether he/she cries, gets cranky or has forced you into sleepless nights. The only thing you can do about it is enjoy its BEING , you still feed it, change its nappy and try to put it to sleep.And a smile on the toddler just makes your heart GROW. As parents most of our preconceived notions of love change so the equation of give and take just changes. We do not seek to change our baby but rather start appreciating the blessing the beauty it already is.

When I speak to couples going through relationship issues during counselling sessions the whole conversation revolves around ‘I thought he/she would change and adjust as per my needs, as per my family needs, she will sacrifice, compromise… Oh I married just because I thought he/she will grow up, be more responsible, work on her self’ etc etc etc….. there is a list of HOW I WISH ….. and that is the end of the relationship 🙂

During healing sessions projecting lots of love and affection towards the patient makes healing quicker. Sometimes I hear comments like no one has cared for me the way you do and I find it really sad to see that love is rare and may want to label through a relationship/friendship etc. There are no different kinds of LOVE believe me there is nothing like a child’s love, a mother’s love, god’s love , healer’s love .. 😛 LOVE is just LOVE. We just experience the depth of love being in all different roles .Love is tenderness of mother’s care, love is boyfriend’s hug, love is when a father hold her child’s hand while crossing the road, love is in mom’s food, friend’s care, silence after a kiss 🙂

If you are unable to find a deep intimate relationship in your life the reason is not because you are unable to find LOVE but your own distorted understanding of Love. Love is about the intimacy two individuals share from a space of total comfort. Where you allow the person to see through you; you do not force the person to see you the way you project but much more deep. So the elementary knowledge of love that we see in movies, in fairy tales does not work in real life real intimate love is more like a Ph D 😉

Love is not about idealizing the projected image of a partner or our own opinion and picture of them instead it is about going deep and exploring the real person he/she is and expressing appreciation and gratitude for this being. There is no person on this planet who is not worthy of love as we all are made in that essence.

As Marianne Williamson says” It is’nt the absence of people in our life that causes pain, but rather what we do with them when they’re there.”

So when we get a loving girlfriend , we forget our parents, when we get a beautiful wife we forget our friends , when we get women to have fun outside marriage we forget our wife……….so in reality we are never able to nourish any relationship and in the end we are ALONE.

You know why a search for love is endless?? As the love we seek is always there within us. So the day you have understood love, love will find you no matter where you are. Love can be beautifully understood from nature.

“And still, after all this time, the Sun has never said to the Earth, “You owe me.” Look what happens with love like that. It lights up the sky. – Rumi (Hafiz)

Great romantic relationships are based on intimacy and appreciation and by helping them access their highest . The fairy tale called “The Frog Prince” reveals a deep psychological connection between our attitudes towards people and their capacity for transformation. In the story, a princess kisses a frog and he becomes a prince. What this signifies is the miraculous power of love to create a context in which people naturally blossom into their highest potential. Neither nagging to get people to change, criticizing or fixing can do that.

You can only understand people in life if you can love them. “What is not Loved is not Understood” We hold our self separate and wait people to earn our love. But people deserve our love for what they were created to be and that is their Authentic Self. As long as we wait for them to be anything better, we will constantly be disappointed.

When we choose to approve and give pure love to people , the miracle kicks both ways – This is the key – Love Sargam

When I See YOUR FACE IS NOT A THING I WILL CHANGE BECAUSE GIRL YOU ARE AMAZING JUST THE WAY YOU ARE – Bruno Mars