Tag Archives: Swami Sivananda

Jul28

Emotional PAIN – Doorway to Inner Alchemy

Posted on July 28, 2015 by Sargam Mishra

This blog is a part of a conversation with a parent whose child recently went through a break up and was extremely miserable. It is really amazing how thoughts get triggered when I am put in situation 🙂 The approach that was followed by the parent was to provide the child as many self help tips and valuable advise that was available to disconnect him from the PAIN but finally there was nothing that was actually working for him. The reason that I feel that self help gyan, spirituality etc does not work at this time is because it means we are somewhere we are not suppose to be.

I was just thinking if we keep reinforcing that the situation due to which a person is in PAIN is something that in first place should not happen and if it has happened one needs to be out of it asap or run from it. This can create a feeling of shame or failure in the child/person. Instead if we can follow the approach that it is just OKAY to go through a situation in life to learn as we are not born with experience instead we gather it on our life journey, this becomes a more positive situation for the child/person.

It takes 3 seconds flat to come to this life and realize PAIN is part of our life. But it takes an entire life to accept the reality that YES PAIN is a part of our life and it is OKAY…….Stop running away from facing the reality that yes life will be painful whenever we will fall out of a relationship, or when we will lose our loved ones …my first encounter with PAIN I mean the really brutal encounter was when I lost my mother..as a child I was really afraid to grow up thinking that if I grew up my parents and dear relatives will grow old and I will have to see them die. That thought used to freeze me when I was only 6 yrs old….I used to sit in rooms and mull over it but I never told this to anyone.

When the day I lost my mother I had no idea that the real pain would be far greater than I had imagined. My father is a strong man and he never made himself vulnerable in front of anyone during this loss and so I decided I will not cry and just accept the pain as with the loss. I saw many of my relatives howling and crying but I stayed calm and dissociated myself with the fact that she is gone.

So basically I became numb to the PAIN and moved away when I felt emotionally battered I shifted my focus to studies or be with friends etc. But at one point I felt I am cheating my self as I could not just be all right or pretend I was all right when I was not . I had a tough time accepting that it is all right to be with this PAIN and respect the pain and live it …. I will never complain or make it a reason of my suffering instead will respect this parting away. The pain made me super sensitive to people and their pain and suffering. Healing and consultation needs a lot of empathy, landing into a healing profession and being able to share myself with people in similar situations is a result of knowing and being friendly with the PAIN.

I have realized that PAIN is not a curse or the materialization of our BAD KARMA the way we are told. However it is an opportunity to be present with our self , to be present with our emotions. This is the reason why Buddhism teachings revolve around suffering and PAIN. As children we are always told people who suffer in life are those who have done bad deeds so they have to suffer to neutralize the Karma. Instead the truth is if you use the PAIN to your advantage one can create a whole new meaning of life. The suffering is a result of not being able to to use the pain to our advantage instead trying to run away from it or hide. When we see pain as a deviation from the normal it becomes unacceptable or something that should be avoided so if you are in pain divert your mind, join a dance class, watch a movie or get drunk.

I am sure many of us have tried these escapes but what happens ?? The next time it come in as a more stronger wave of emotion. What if I told you PAIN is good , it is alright perfectly alright to have a failed relationship, it is alright to be hopeless and miserable. When we try things in life there are fair chances to be successful or fail. This is perfectly normal. That is how we learn , somethings are not meant for us …if we all got 100 percent in all our subjects we will never know what we are really really good at.

Our dear President APJ Abdul Kalam wanted to be an Air Force pilot however failed in his exam here is an excerpt from his writing:

I still remember the ache in my heart as I attempted to make sense of what had happened. When a dearly held desire begins to break up, one can feel nothing but despair and emptiness as one tries to come to terms with the end of a dream. I could not bear to be indoors after seeing the result. I had to go out for air and be in the open, because all around me the walls seemed to close in. I walked around for a while till I reached the edge of a cliff. I stood there looking down at the shimmering waters of a lake and wondered what I should do next. Plans needed to be changed and priorities reassessed. I decided to go to Rishikesh for a few days and seek a new way forward.

I was granted an audience with Swami Sivananda himself. My being a Muslim did not affect him in any way. Instead, before I could speak, he asked what had filled me with sorrow. I only fleetingly wondered how he knew about my sadness before I embarked on any explanation of the recent developments in my life. He listened calmly and then washed away my anxieties with a smile of deep peacefulness. His next words were some of the most profound I had ever heard. His feeble yet deep voice still resonates when I think of them: “Accept your destiny and go ahead with your life. You are not destined to become an air force pilot. What you are destined to become is not revealed now but it is predetermined. Forget this failure, as it was essential to lead you to your destined path. Search, instead, for the true purpose of your existence.”

We need no clue as to what happened to this gentleman post his failure 🙂 but at that point in life it was a dream crashing down.He could have mulled over it for life , committed a suicide, got drunk or what ever you can imagine 🙂

In the scheme of larger things there are no mistakes and no coincidences. You are where you are suppose to be at this very moment. Mistakes in life help you to find your way when you are lost. Getting lost is not a crime we were not born with an inbuilt GPS system 😛 right?

A beautiful video clip: It is Perfectly Normal to make mistakes in life, our parents , society, friends have to be compassionate and acceptable to the idea of failure and pain.We will have to change the way we have been looking at people and situations. Today’s generation is taking more risks , trying out more than our previous generations and hence they have more to learn and explore and this can only happen when we learn to fail and accept the pain that follows it.

There are no MISTAKES in life !! I repeat no mistakes it is just how the source brings you back to your life path….so stop grinning ,complaining, cursing instead ask your self what is the next right move… that is it …stop thinking about how big the situation is …you just need that next right move…..

TIPS to Deal with Pain:

1. Be Vulnerable – Allow yourself to be exposed to being ok in asking for help or sharing your story with people. do not shut your self. Most of the time we tell people we are self sufficient and can survive well by meeting our own needs. This is actually a common lie we tell ourselves often because we hesitate to fulfill that need by asking anyone for it as it makes us vulnerable and prone to be rejected or hurt.
However it is empowering to know that we can create people and situations to show up in our reality through manifestation. So we can manifest people having complimentary needs thereby leading to a more fulfilling life.

2.Instead of Looking at your whole life focus on the next right move – Most of us when fail in life we start fearing the uncertainities of life. We want to know what will happen to me 2yrs post a divorce, will I get the right partner, will I be having financial security etc etc. This thought process takes up the strength to move ahead in life.

Instead when we are in a lot of mess the only question we should think about is the next right move and then follow it with next right move and so on. Future is created every moment by moving in the right direction. So just follow your joy. Live an hour better and then the next and it will make up a beautiful day.

3.Create your ME Time – We are living in an ocean of thought forms sometime what we think is a result of what my next door neighbor is projecting in his thoughts. It is very important to distinguish your thoughts from the borrowed thought form of your environment. So take some time out to meditate to be able to connect your self to know what should be your life like.

4. Self Love – This is my favorite remember you cannot love anyone if you do not love yourself. Make your feelings , your life a priority till you get comfortable living it every day. A happy person can only create happiness around himself/herself.

5. Do Service – Do random acts of kindness and create difference in life of others it brings immense amount of joy and we also realize that life is a gift which should be used well.

Sargam is an experienced Relationship Counsellor and uses energy healing techniques for guidance and healing of emotional issues. She also runs a 21 Day Relationship Healing event with more than 2500 participants online. If you need guidance fix up a skype session, mail your question or fix up a telephonic session, take prior appointment on healingmindbodynsoul@gmail.com

Nov25

Law of Attraction Karma Free Will and Destiny – Solving the Mystery of Manifestation

Posted on November 25, 2014 by Sargam Mishra

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The Secret is one of Best Selling Book on Law of Attraction , it has helped many of us understand that we create our own reality. But sometimes we are unable to understand why at times we are able to manifest situations, relationships, a new job, money etc etc quickly while sometimes it takes much more longer than we can anticipate and then we wonder does it really work?? I recently was having a counselling session with a dear friend who has been truly inspired by Rhonda Byrne series of books on Law of Attraction and Manifestation but was having a hard time manifesting a committed relationship.

This blog is about understanding that universal laws always work in tandem and not in isolation and how you can ease Manifestation in life by understanding these laws. Happy Reading !!!!!

law of attraction_Sargam

While working with her on her issue I also wanted to understand why it is that some of the things are like instantly manifested where as others have a lead time. Are there other laws that also work in tandem with LOA if yes what are they? What is the role of “Destiny” and “Life Purpose” as not always manifesting what we want is gratification. As I was putting these thoughts I remembered all the amazing people working on LOA , Esther Jerry Hicks, John Assaraf, Rhonda Byrne, Joe Vitale and many morethat I may have missed who have put together books, cds and courses on making Law of Attraction work for us. However this game of manifestation is actually not as simple as …… Just think and manifest 🙂

I have been lately very impressed with Swami Sivananda and his seminal work on Thought Power. It is interesting to understand why every individual has different thoughts and hence different desires in life . For some money manifestation is high on priorities for others it is a happy fulfilling relationship. So In this blog I have tried to touch upon other laws and principles that also play a vital role or influence manifestation. The pretext of this blog is that nothing can work in isolation in this universe 🙂 It is a super duper intelligent system.

Life Purpose and our Samskaras (Past Life Imprints)

Every individual who incarnates on this Earth has a Life Purpose this purpose keeps evolving with the spiritual growth and our ability to live the Purpose. Our Purpose in Life is based on our past life samskaras (imprints). As said by Swami Sivananda “The mind is a storehouse of samskaras, predispositions, predilections, etc. A child is born with his individual samskaras, with his past experiences transmuted into mental and moral tendencies and powers. The mind evolves through the impressions received from the universe through the senses. It will take many lifetimes till it gathers the complete experience of the world. Every person is born with his inherent samskaras which are embedded, lodged or imprinted within chitta (Subconscious mind is termed ‘Chitta) which is the seat for prarabdha (“Prarabdha is that portion of the past karma which is responsible for the present body.) or past karma. In earthly life, one gains many more samskaras or experiences through actions, and these are added to the original store and become the future sanchita karmas (accumulated actions).

All samskaras lie dormant in the chitta as latent activities, not only of this life but of all previous lives. The samskaras of one’s animal lives, a kingly life, a peasant’s life, are all hidden in the chitta. In each life, only those samskaras which are appropriate to that particular type of birth will operate and come to play. The other samskaras will remain concealed and dormant. As a merchant closing the year’s ledger and opening a new one does not enter in the new book all the items of the old, but only its balances, so does the spirit hand over to the new brain its judgement on the experiences of a life that is closed, the conclusions to which it has come, the decisions at which it has arrived. This is the stock handed over to the new life, the mental furniture for the new dwelling, a real memory.”

This is the reason why since we are born we may have liking towards specific things whereas aversion to some. So someone will love sweets where as the other person may have an aversion to sweet (just a basic example) this is all based on our past life experiences.

Destiny Karma and Free Will

Now let us understand the concept of Fate/Destiny or what we call Karma and how does it work with the ‘Free Will’ granted to human beings mostly we all feel stuck up with the the doctrine of Karma and I keep hearing I suffer because it is destined due to my previous life Karmas. Blaming Destiny or Fatalism is the doctrine that all events are subject to fate and happen by unavoidable necessity.

Fate is otherwise known as luck or fortune/destiny. That indefinable mysterious something which brings trials, successes and failures to man, which shapes and moulds him by teaching lessons of various sort, which takes care of him like a mother, which brings various sort of experiences, which brings cloudy days and days of bright sunshine, which raises a beggar to the level of a landlord and hurls down a mighty potentate to the level of a street-beggar, which gives different kinds of fruits and experiences to two people of equal talents and capacities, which made Napoleon at one time a terror in the eyes of the people and at another time a prisoner, and which makes a certain portion of the life of a man quite stormy and another portion quite smooth, is called fate. Fate educates and instructs man. However whimsical the fate may appear to operate, it works in harmony with the law of causation.

Destiny is one’s own creation. Man acts and thinks and develops his own character. He creates a web like the spider or a silk-worm and entangles himself in its meshes on account of the three knots, viz., Ignorance, Lust and Karma/Actions. He himself has enthroned fate to the level of a king and obeys its order owing to his ignorance and its effects.

The doctrine of Karma is diametrically opposed to the doctrine of fatalism. When we surrender to destiny or fate it causes inertia, lethargy, weakness of will and bondage. This type of thinking annihilates faith. It induces terrible fear in the people. It destroys ethics. It checks growth and evolution, whereas the doctrine of Karma is an incentive to action to better one’s condition. It is a source of solace. It gives man an assurance of a broader and happier life. It presupposes freedom of the will. Freedom is the essence of Karma. It gives opportunities for growth and evolution. The doctrine of Karma affords a most rational and scientific explanation of what is called fate. It gives a positive definite word of assurance that, although the present of which he himself is the creator or the author, is unalterable and irrevocable, he may better his future by changing his thoughts, habits, tendencies and mode of action. Herein lies great comfort, strength, encouragement and consolation to the desperate man. Herein lies a strong impetus for the man to struggle and exert for improving himself. Even a forlorn and helpless man is made cheerful when he understands this doctrine of Karma. The doctrine of Karma brings hope to the hopeless, help to the helpless, joy to the cheerless and new strength to the weak. It braces up a sunken man. It is an ideal “pick-me-up” for the depressed and gloomy. The doctrine of Karma teaches: “Do not blame anybody when you suffer. Do not accuse God. Blame yourself first. You will have to reap what you have sown in your previous birth. Your present sufferings are due to your own bad Karma in your past life. You are yourself the author of the present state. The present is unchangeable. Do not weep. Do not cry over spill milk. There is no use. You will not gain anything by so doing. Instead of weeping over the failure of crops during last year, go on ploughing this year. You will get abundant rain this year and rich harvest. Do virtuous actions now. Think rightly. Act rightly. You will have a brilliant and a glorious future.” How beautiful and soul-stirring is this magnanimous doctrine of Karma! The doctrine of Karma develops faith and supports ethics. It says: “If you hurt another man, you hurt yourself.”

Every act produces in the performer a double effect, one in the inner nature in the form of a tendency, good or bad, and the other in the form of fruit, reward or punishment. The past Karma influences the present life in two ways, first in the form of character or tendency internally and as fate externally. If you do an action, it creates a Samskara or subtle impression in the subconscious mind or Chitta. The Samskara causes a tendency. Tendency develops into a habit by repetition of the actions. The habit manifests as character. Character develops into destiny. This is the order: Samskara, tendency, habit, character, and destiny.

The faculty of choosing is termed will. This will is free by its own nature. Man has a free will by his birthright. It asserts itself at every moment of our lives. Bear in mind that every small act that you perform is the resultant of triple conjoint forces, viz., freewill, character and destiny. The sphere of activity varies according to the nature of your Karma and the character formed by it. If you have done virtuous actions in your previous birth and if you have developed an exemplary character, “your will have a wider field of activity and vice versa.

Determinism is the doctrine that all things, including the will, are determined (limited) by causes. This is the converse of free will. It is otherwise known as necessitarianism. Man has power to choose between the alternatives which fate brings before him. In choosing between them he may either follow his tendencies produced by his past actions or struggle against them. The will of a man is ever free. The arguments which are advanced by determinists in saying that human will is determined are not sound and tenable; they fall to the ground.

Once we understand that destiny and free will work under the effects of your own Karmas and Character (character which is shaped up by your Samskaras)

Law of Attraction

Oh Boy the above quote makes you feel so so so powerful 🙂 and that is what has created so much buzzzzz about LOA it has given us the power boost.

Now let us see where does the Law of Attraction come into picture so to begin with lets understand What is Law of Attraction?? Everything in our universe is energy – everything you see, feel, hear or otherwise perceive. Everything within and beyond our perceptions is energy as well. Everything. Energy always moves. The fact that you can see, hear or smell – means that energy moves and you are capable of tuning into it’s vibrational frequency.

Energy cannot stop and cannot disappear. It can only change it’s form. Energy always flows.
Our thoughts are energy. What we now see, feel and touch has only existed in the form of thought just a little while ago. As soon as you conceive and entertain a thought – any thought – it immediately flows into the endless universe and attracts like thoughts. They in turn attract material manifestations of the similar energies. Miserable thought manifest more misery, abundant thoughts adds more abundance to the creator of it and to the world around.

That which is like unto itself is drawn – is the major premise of the Law of Attraction. Like attracts like – and the only way to manifest new and improved version of the outer world is to change the vision within your inner world – your inner vibrations – your inner thoughts and, as a consequence – your inner emotional state.
So how would we go about manifesting the things we want? More abundance? More money? More creative energy our your lives? Your dream job or dream body condition or your dream soulmate or partner?
I found that simple car analogy works the best to explain not only the process itself but also the proper order of actions.

Here it goes:
Imagine you want to take your car and drive to your vacation destination. Some exciting place where you never been before.
So here’s what you’d want to do – and in this specific order:

Decide where you want to go and prepare the road map: Set Intention and Make Decision to start moving toward it.
Check your car – make sure it’s in good driving condition and there are no obstacles to movement: Get your mind ready for the trip.
Release the breaks: Let go of Resistance.
Keep driving according to your roadmap, never mind occasional stops or detours. Keep your destination in mind, keep driving and have fun along the way in expectation of arriving to the wonderful place where you never been before: Enter and Maintain the Desired State.

In Reality is it this simple??? Most of us have seen that we do get stuck up with Manifestation, this is because ow you know that Law of Attraction does not work in Isolation 🙂 I have tried to put together a picture thanks to my husband for his inputs in improving the visual 🙂

So if at times you find LOA not working for you then just start sowing seeds of Karma, start giving what you want this will add additional energy to help you manifest faster.The universal laws of Karma, Free Will ,Destiny and Law of Attraction do not work in isolation but there is an intelligent system in place. So some time respect this intelligent system and let go of resistance the universe will give you what is best for you………..This is also called the Law of Least effort.

This is my personal understanding and as we learn and grow this may get evolved too any views are most welcome 🙂

““You sow a thought and reap an action. You sow an action and reap a habit. You sow a habit and reap a character. You sow a character and reap a destiny.“ – Swami Sivananda

Much Love -Sargam