“The best metric of child poverty may not have to do with income but with how often a child is spoken and read to.”
Amidst our hectic lifestyle and a quest to chase our dreams, we sometimes ignore our responsibilities as parents. Having very little time for communicating and playing with our children, we find it easy to introduce technical gadgets to our children in their early years. This is the time when they are absorbing everything as a sponge. A child by age 4 will hear nearly a million words and more This is how he she will form their vocabulary and learn to express themselves. So every time you speak to your child you are giving them words and expressions to process which will become the foundation of their behaviour.
It is important to raise awareness and my articles and counselling have been a medium. There are so many excuses we can hear and most of them feel it is difficult to keep the children away from the media and technical gadgets. This is actually true because we ourselves have indulged in them and life without TV and social media is impossible. We do not want to miss our favorite serials (daily soaps) or avoid listening to romantic and catchy numbers where lyrics are just not making any sense.
Raising a child is a conscious choice and a 20 year project at the minimum and once you have taken it up it is your duty to deliver it to the best you can. Most of us feel when babies are 0-6 months they do not understand what is happening. Instead the child is learning at a phenomenal rate daily , the brain activity is happening not only when they are awake but also during the REM (Rapid Eye movement) sleep time. They are constantly accessing the environment they are growing up in absorbing energies being emitted from all the people near them. They are sensitive to the oceans of thoughts and emotions in their environment.
Babies are like wet clay they have the potential to be anything but they are dependent on the environment set up by parents and the way we handle them plays a major role in their making.
There are many couples who resent about how they had thought their partner would transform post marriage/ committed relationships.Some expect a formal husband and wife relationship after being friends for years..others fantasize their partners to change their lifestyle (e.g. quit smoking, lose weight, curtail being with friends)..but most of the times the outcome of such illusions is resentments. When we expect people to change or put conditions in any relationship we are not in Love with their authentic self but in love with our own expectations.
When you Love someone , Love them for who they are not for what they can be. Life is all about “Loving in the PRESENT”
All relationships are based on Energy. Positive relationships reflect intimacy in every aspect of togetherness: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. The energy of a loving couple in an intimate relationship blends in a harmonious way, allowing love and good emotions to flow between them easily and freely.
Conversely, when a couple is in a poor relationship, arguing and fighting, the energy fields don’t blend and flow. They actually clash and repel, manifesting as even more painful friction.
Master Choa Kok Sui Pranic Healing® utilizes esoteric techniques to disintegrate the negative thoughts and emotions of couples. This helps empower individuals to react less to negative energies, while promoting good energy to flow freely between both partners in a relationship.
The next step is to increase intimacy. Often couples fail to understand that intimacy is about more than sex. When intimacy exists only in the physical body, it tends to fade when the physical body changes.
The same is true on an emotional level. When emotions change, so does the intimacy. The heart chakras of two people have to be highly activated and in tune to each other to form a “heart connection”. This energetic method makes loving each other “effortless”.
On the mental level, people often put their partner’s faults and weakness under a “microscope” rather than focusing on the positive traits. An easy technique is to mentally enhance the positive qualities your partner has, no matter how small.
First, silently do an inventory of their positive qualities. Then mentally praise him/her for the good things you see in them. And finally, physically tell the person how wonderful and special they are. Do this on a regular basis, especially when things are rough. Shower them with good energy and positive feedback and watch them bloom as they aspire to live up to your praise.
From a spiritual standpoint, it is important that the energy fields of two people in a relationship merge together. When we project love, love is projected back to us. We have the Power to literally harness energy to create positive effects and invoke healing in our relationships.
In Pranic Healing, to energetically heal and create successful and loving relationships, it is very important to practice the Meditation On Twin Hearts. This will help flush out the stress energies one accumulates from a stressful day. This powerful meditation first activates the Heart Chakra that helps you become more understanding of your partner. Then the Crown Chakra is activated to experience Soul Oneness. This simple meditation is great for removing anger, stress and resentment, as well as enhancing the loving nature within you and your partner.
To get the best effect, a couple should practice these simple techniques together to experience a merging of the aura and chakras. With more practice they can even experience a merging of the body, the mind, the heart and souls!
Invite your Friends and Family members to experience Free Healing and Blessing for 21 days to help them Transform their Relationships.Please volunteer as Healers (Energy healing practitioners of any modality) who will be healing the group energy for Lovable Relationships.And the people who want to Bless and be blessed ..send me your names (Message me using PM) I will maintain the list. Lets gift Love and Happiness to our friends and families and flood our planet with LOVE
I am sure we all have asked questions in our relationship about ‘Why is my relationship not working the way it used to be’ at some point in our life. I have heard words in sessions like “Our love is gone, there is no spark in our relationship. We used to feel close, but I think he doesn’t love me any more. Is he seeing someone else, we do not enjoy being with each other. etc etc. If they seem familiar to you probably you are struggling in speaking the right emotional Love Language of your partner. As Gary Chapman explains in his best selling book ‘No matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse understands only Chinese,you will never understand how to show love to each other.’ At the heart of human existence there is a deep desire to be intimate and to be loved.Marriage is designed to meet that need for intimacy and love.
We all need love to feel good; each of us has an emotional love tank and it is important to keep it full for a healthy relationship. Having healthy arguments, disagreements and view points are perfectly alright now and then.
“Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys.”
― Nicholas Sparks, Safe Haven
When we are ‘In Love’ we have these amazing chemical releases within our bodies so initially our partner appears to be the perfect soul mate we could ever have but gradually we get immune to these chemical activity and start to descend from the clouds of imaginations and plant our feet on earth to experience the reality. We can then recognize the irritating personality traits of our partner, where hairs are always in the sink and little white spots on the mirror, where arguments center around whether the toilet door should be closed or the lid should be up or down. In this real world, a look can hurt and a word can crush. Intimate lovers can become enemies and marriage a battlefield.
All this is a normal life of a couple; most of the time we have two options
1. We are destined to a life of misery with our spouse (or may be just fool around outside)
2. We must jump ship and try again( Re marriage)
Or there is a better way: Just reorganize the love experience 🙂 I know when we do not have any love around having to reorganize the love experience does not make sense. Lets understand it, if someone is extremely hungry he/she will want to eat but if he/she is all full even if you bring in the best of dishes he will say no. Same thing is with love if a person’s love tank is full , he will feel secure, the whole world looks bright and will want to focus on more meaningful things in life.
Here is an example of a couple:
I tell Selena I love her at least a few times each day – but the phrase has very little bearing on whether or not she feels loved. I can say it, text it, email it, and write it in the clouds but if my actions don’t show her I love her the words quickly lose their meaning – they’re merely a quick breath of air formed into three syllables of consonants and vowels.
I also show Selena I love her by kissing her. But kisses I give to her don’t mean as much as her kisses given to me. Why? Because we speak different love languages… Selena feels most loved when we spend good amounts of quality time together with good conversation. Nothing fills her love-bucket like a devoted day together – free from distraction and diversion. If I give her a kiss or tell her I love her after a day together, she knows it and she feels it.
I’m learning that speaking her language, her love language, actually involves very little speaking at all. Saying “I love you” with words is much more meaningful when it’s reinforced by action.
I believe it’s our duty as husbands (and wives) to learn how to best communicate love to our spouses. Once learned, it then becomes our glad obligation to speak their language regularly.
Let us see what these Love Languages are:
Dr. Gary Chapman has identified 5 Major Love Languages:
1. Words of Affirmations – Verbal Compliments, or word of appreciation are powerful communicators of love.
2. Acts of Service – For these people actions speak louder than words, doing the dishes, helping in with kids/home are their way of accepting love
3. Receiving Gifts – For some people what makes them feel most loved is to receive gifts
4. Quality Time – For these people it is about spending good quality time with their partner, no more phone calls, private vacation, a nice long drive or just a hearty talk
5. Physical Touch – A nice hug, a pat on the shoulder, a kiss or just holding hands these people want to feel the love in the touch.
I know you must be wondering that we all love may be to have all 5 of them but there is a primary love language and we should try to learn master it for both ourselves and for our spouse.
Here is how you can start to know what is your primary love language there is a short quiz:
Here is a step by step approach to start your Love Language journey 🙂
Step 1. Find out what is your Primary Love Language and also what is your partner’s
Step 2. Sit together when you are in each other’s happy company and try to learn more about it.
Step 3. Explore what works for both of you
Step 4. Learn to keep the Love Tank Full in your relationship by avoiding gestures (refer table below to start)
Step 5. Forgive and let go of the past and See your marriage and your partner in a brighter light
Disclaimer :All the above steps work only if you can love your self first. Refer my blog on Self Love. Remember a beggar can never give so first fill up your love tank with self love and then work on your relationship.
Understand every relationship can become beautiful , it just needs an emotional commitment and YOU can be the trigger.
You can also read “The 5 Love Languages” – By Dr. Gary Chapman and try experimenting. I am also adding few videos for you all. Have a wonderful relationship. – Love Sargam
The search of that perfect mate is a quest of every individual . It is also the most talked about question during relationship counselling 🙂 .I posted the above picture on my Facebook status and I could see hidden question mark on the likes and comments. Do you really think so 😛 and that is how I got the perfect article to write on imperfectness 🙂
Our purpose to incarnate in human form on this earth is not to come and find our perfect life partner. As most of us think our mission in life is to find a soul mate and we spend a lifetime trying and testing people to check whether they pass the litmus test of perfect soul mates. The outcome of this wonderful search are several heartbreaks and heartaches and at times re marriages.
We keep seeking true love all our life in expectation of living a perfect romantic movie life …and they lived happily ever and after ending. Not until we are hit by the same love of our life in all the wrong places and the meaning of life and soul mate changes our life 360 degrees 🙂
The Great Indian saint and poet “Tulsidas ji” went through his enlightenment after he was nagged by his wife for his indispensable love to her bodily form. Ratnavali his wife said “had you showed your love for god your life would have been far more worthwhile”, This brought a shift in his consciousness and the great Indian Epic “Ramayana” was conceived by Tulsidas ji.
It is a sad to share but the truth is we learn only in contrasts. To understand love we have to experience a lack of love, to understand trust we have to face distrust, that is how life evolves.
Every person is a projection of our own consciousness, we are living magnets.The imperfections we see in others is a reflection of our own nature which has to be worked upon. Imperfect relationships as we think are the perfect situation for our own expansion.
Lets pay gratitude to these perfectly imperfect partners in our life they are our spiritual gurus 🙂
I have been writing a lot on Relationships lately and I see a certain level of comfort when healing relationship issues during my healing sessions . Many a times healers and intuitive choose to experience the pain and suffering to set their own examples because when you have actually been in the position of the other person you can give a sound advise as it comes from within.
I know my life journey has been really interesting and the life lessons that I wanted to learn was “love” for my own self and what I expected from others so I ended up in situations where people mirrored what I felt about myself and about love. A single long term relationship brought in a plethora of life experiences good bad ugly all of it and still continues to help in my expansion. I ventured into areas where i could have never dared to 🙂 I have also learned that people never change and when they bring immense pain in life it is better to leave rather than expecting miracles. Sometimes leaving may not feel a great choice and may be very painful but with time gradually things will be laid out in a way where exiting the relationship will be the only choice.
When I could no longer walk God gave me wings to fly
With passing time I am getting more and more comfortable with what life has offered me as my transformation journey could not have been possible unless I went through the pain and suffering I did. Today there is nothing to hide or cover up as I feel people have just been postmen in delivering the experiences that I was suppose to have. I was lifted up when I was really battered up and put back on track of spiritual path.
I had people from various school of thoughts coming into my life to deliver wonderful messages , I was amazed as they were from quite a varied age group and backgrounds and it helped me understand the deeper meaning of myself and my life purpose. A special gratitude for all of them.
I was guided into a conversation lately as I am going through spirals of experiences myself for a prolonged time. Even people on spiritual path have their high n lows the only difference is that they no longer get sucked into the situation.
Happiness is what is our natural state of being but most of us are in pursuit of that happiness here ,there everywhere but one of my spiritual guru beautifully summed up the success of being in the third dimension or being incarnated in physical form as below:
1. Taking up a human form
2. Knowing your life purpose
3. Connecting with higher beings or evolved people and ultimately Source
Rest all is a paraphernalia to keep this journey interesting , our job , family and social interactions etc are all there to keep us engaged but yes we have to get involved and give our best and earn our karma points but finally you have to return to Source (God) sooner or later 🙂
So what you see today is truly inner alchemy, It is wonderful to get messages from friends, acquaintances and from people across globe who read and appreciate these blogs and follow me on social sites.
Pain is expansion, it helps us to evolve rapidly so every time we are in pain it is a moment of self evaluation and opportunity for improvement. We are all here to realize our own Buddha nature, the divine within and be love…”It is a collective journey of individual expansion” I am helping you and you are helping me whether it is through love or pain or arrogance 🙂
We are living Magnets and the relationships we are in currently are because of us :). Yes of course if you want to know what kind of energy you are look around and see the people you are with. Two people exist if they are a vibrational match to each other and will continue only till they are a match.
Relationships, soul mates that we meet on our journey of life at first seems to be a perfect answer as it complete the missing experiences in our lives but as we evolve our vibration changes and if either of the mate is slow in his/her expansion we see conflicts.
Often people believe finding a mate who loves them will be the answer to everything missing in their life experience. They want to find that one person who will, in essence, complete them. And almost without exception, they want that person, right here, right now!
If you are seeking a joyful relationship, you must become joyful first. Asking for a relationship to make you joyful is a backwards approach. If you are seeking a satisfying relationship, you must become satisfied first. If you are seeking a relationship full of fun and great timing and excitement, you must become full of fun and great timing and excitement, first.
How you feel equals who you are. And who-you-are equals everything that comes to you.
“We attract lovers from our level of energy. Take your time to raise your vibration and attract from a higher vibration. If you want to live happily ever after learn to manage your emotions and make joy the most important experience. It’s ever so much more satisfying to get into a blissful place and attract a blissful person and live blissfully hereafter than to be in a negative place and attract a negative partner and then try to get happy from that negative place.”
– Inspired from articles of Abraham Hicks and Law of Attraction
http://www.awarenessmag.com/mayjun06/mj06_rapid_emotional.htm
Sargam Mishra 