Do you know the fastest way to spiritually and emotionally evolve in life??
It is through “Relationships” yes …imagine if you were all alone in this world everything would have been the way you wanted to.Relationships bring conflicts and contrasts in life it also helps us to see life through different perspectives.This switch of perspectives gives a variety in thinking because now there is no one way of seeing a situation/person or may be life and hence we see people in similar circumstances but able to experience life in completely different flavors.
However the issues in life arise when we resist this variety in perspectives considering our perspective was the best way at looking life. This is the beginning of issues and problems in life as gradually this resistance makes us fixated to our beliefs and expectations.
Sharing a Relationship exercise you can try think of an instance where you were totally in a disagreement with your partner/boss/mum in law/daughter in law on a particular situation now try to switch perspectives be in their shoes and justify the act from their perspective.
After a monologue for few minutes you will realize that from another perspective that act or situation may not be that bad or may be it makes sense and then the anger and resentment that you were holding will be released. This will help be very helpful in practicing forgiveness during the MCKS Meditation on twin hearts.
This blog is a part of a conversation with a parent whose child recently went through a break up and was extremely miserable. It is really amazing how thoughts get triggered when I am put in situation 🙂 The approach that was followed by the parent was to provide the child as many self help tips and valuable advise that was available to disconnect him from the PAIN but finally there was nothing that was actually working for him. The reason that I feel that self help gyan, spirituality etc does not work at this time is because it means we are somewhere we are not suppose to be.
I was just thinking if we keep reinforcing that the situation due to which a person is in PAIN is something that in first place should not happen and if it has happened one needs to be out of it asap or run from it. This can create a feeling of shame or failure in the child/person. Instead if we can follow the approach that it is just OKAY to go through a situation in life to learn as we are not born with experience instead we gather it on our life journey, this becomes a more positive situation for the child/person.
It takes 3 seconds flat to come to this life and realize PAIN is part of our life. But it takes an entire life to accept the reality that YES PAIN is a part of our life and it is OKAY…….Stop running away from facing the reality that yes life will be painful whenever we will fall out of a relationship, or when we will lose our loved ones …my first encounter with PAIN I mean the really brutal encounter was when I lost my mother..as a child I was really afraid to grow up thinking that if I grew up my parents and dear relatives will grow old and I will have to see them die. That thought used to freeze me when I was only 6 yrs old….I used to sit in rooms and mull over it but I never told this to anyone.
When the day I lost my mother I had no idea that the real pain would be far greater than I had imagined. My father is a strong man and he never made himself vulnerable in front of anyone during this loss and so I decided I will not cry and just accept the pain as with the loss. I saw many of my relatives howling and crying but I stayed calm and dissociated myself with the fact that she is gone.
So basically I became numb to the PAIN and moved away when I felt emotionally battered I shifted my focus to studies or be with friends etc. But at one point I felt I am cheating my self as I could not just be all right or pretend I was all right when I was not . I had a tough time accepting that it is all right to be with this PAIN and respect the pain and live it …. I will never complain or make it a reason of my suffering instead will respect this parting away. The pain made me super sensitive to people and their pain and suffering. Healing and consultation needs a lot of empathy, landing into a healing profession and being able to share myself with people in similar situations is a result of knowing and being friendly with the PAIN.
I have realized that PAIN is not a curse or the materialization of our BAD KARMA the way we are told. However it is an opportunity to be present with our self , to be present with our emotions. This is the reason why Buddhism teachings revolve around suffering and PAIN. As children we are always told people who suffer in life are those who have done bad deeds so they have to suffer to neutralize the Karma. Instead the truth is if you use the PAIN to your advantage one can create a whole new meaning of life. The suffering is a result of not being able to to use the pain to our advantage instead trying to run away from it or hide. When we see pain as a deviation from the normal it becomes unacceptable or something that should be avoided so if you are in pain divert your mind, join a dance class, watch a movie or get drunk.
I am sure many of us have tried these escapes but what happens ?? The next time it come in as a more stronger wave of emotion. What if I told you PAIN is good , it is alright perfectly alright to have a failed relationship, it is alright to be hopeless and miserable. When we try things in life there are fair chances to be successful or fail. This is perfectly normal. That is how we learn , somethings are not meant for us …if we all got 100 percent in all our subjects we will never know what we are really really good at.
Our dear President APJ Abdul Kalam wanted to be an Air Force pilot however failed in his exam here is an excerpt from his writing:
I still remember the ache in my heart as I attempted to make sense of what had happened. When a dearly held desire begins to break up, one can feel nothing but despair and emptiness as one tries to come to terms with the end of a dream. I could not bear to be indoors after seeing the result. I had to go out for air and be in the open, because all around me the walls seemed to close in. I walked around for a while till I reached the edge of a cliff. I stood there looking down at the shimmering waters of a lake and wondered what I should do next. Plans needed to be changed and priorities reassessed. I decided to go to Rishikesh for a few days and seek a new way forward.
I was granted an audience with Swami Sivananda himself. My being a Muslim did not affect him in any way. Instead, before I could speak, he asked what had filled me with sorrow. I only fleetingly wondered how he knew about my sadness before I embarked on any explanation of the recent developments in my life. He listened calmly and then washed away my anxieties with a smile of deep peacefulness. His next words were some of the most profound I had ever heard. His feeble yet deep voice still resonates when I think of them: “Accept your destiny and go ahead with your life. You are not destined to become an air force pilot. What you are destined to become is not revealed now but it is predetermined. Forget this failure, as it was essential to lead you to your destined path. Search, instead, for the true purpose of your existence.”
We need no clue as to what happened to this gentleman post his failure 🙂 but at that point in life it was a dream crashing down.He could have mulled over it for life , committed a suicide, got drunk or what ever you can imagine 🙂
In the scheme of larger things there are no mistakes and no coincidences. You are where you are suppose to be at this very moment. Mistakes in life help you to find your way when you are lost. Getting lost is not a crime we were not born with an inbuilt GPS system 😛 right?
A beautiful video clip: It is Perfectly Normal to make mistakes in life, our parents , society, friends have to be compassionate and acceptable to the idea of failure and pain.We will have to change the way we have been looking at people and situations. Today’s generation is taking more risks , trying out more than our previous generations and hence they have more to learn and explore and this can only happen when we learn to fail and accept the pain that follows it.
There are no MISTAKES in life !! I repeat no mistakes it is just how the source brings you back to your life path….so stop grinning ,complaining, cursing instead ask your self what is the next right move… that is it …stop thinking about how big the situation is …you just need that next right move…..
TIPS to Deal with Pain:
1. Be Vulnerable – Allow yourself to be exposed to being ok in asking for help or sharing your story with people. do not shut your self. Most of the time we tell people we are self sufficient and can survive well by meeting our own needs. This is actually a common lie we tell ourselves often because we hesitate to fulfill that need by asking anyone for it as it makes us vulnerable and prone to be rejected or hurt.
However it is empowering to know that we can create people and situations to show up in our reality through manifestation. So we can manifest people having complimentary needs thereby leading to a more fulfilling life.
2.Instead of Looking at your whole life focus on the next right move – Most of us when fail in life we start fearing the uncertainities of life. We want to know what will happen to me 2yrs post a divorce, will I get the right partner, will I be having financial security etc etc. This thought process takes up the strength to move ahead in life.
Instead when we are in a lot of mess the only question we should think about is the next right move and then follow it with next right move and so on. Future is created every moment by moving in the right direction. So just follow your joy. Live an hour better and then the next and it will make up a beautiful day.
3.Create your ME Time – We are living in an ocean of thought forms sometime what we think is a result of what my next door neighbor is projecting in his thoughts. It is very important to distinguish your thoughts from the borrowed thought form of your environment. So take some time out to meditate to be able to connect your self to know what should be your life like.
4. Self Love – This is my favorite remember you cannot love anyone if you do not love yourself. Make your feelings , your life a priority till you get comfortable living it every day. A happy person can only create happiness around himself/herself.
5. Do Service – Do random acts of kindness and create difference in life of others it brings immense amount of joy and we also realize that life is a gift which should be used well.
Sargam is an experienced Relationship Counsellor and uses energy healing techniques for guidance and healing of emotional issues. She also runs a 21 Day Relationship Healing event with more than 2500 participants online. If you need guidance fix up a skype session, mail your question or fix up a telephonic session, take prior appointment on healingmindbodynsoul@gmail.com
In school during the moral science classes children are given amazing lessons on honesty, building a good character and becoming a good and responsible human being. As a child I loved my Moral Science classes when the teacher used to tell us stories on character building. Also I loved the Jatak Kathas and Panchtantra they were full of stories on how one should lead a good life be kind and helpful. These lessons end during junior school and then we enter senior school ,and then college. All of us are engrossed in the rat race of getting good marks , competing against friends and classmates to live our parent’s dreams. Somewhere in the journey these moral science lessons are shelved as they do not get us marks or any competitive edge.
But when we enter the corporate world we find that the mission statement of every company has the core value as Honesty. The value of honesty in business has obvious and subtle implications. Somewhere I was reading the “Corporate Ethics Isn’t About Rules; It’s About Honesty”
And I was wondering how much do we understand this statement in real life. When more than 85% people are living their lives suffocating their authentic selves under mask of “I am fine” or “I need to please all” and sometimes it is all about not being vulnerable for the fear of rejection or acceptance.
Honesty is the process of recognizing, accepting and expressing our authentic, true self. And this process starts with you. Nothing is more important than being honest with your self. Life is all about living your true authentic self, be vulnerable, be true and encourage people to air their dirty laundry in public.
Most of us go through an internal war between “Openness and Privacy” what is the right mix?How much to disclose how much to hide? This evaluation constantly happens in our head. Most of us spend our lives in such evaluation instead of living a fulfilling life.
For people to be open, we must embrace trust. When you don’t really know how to trust, this can be tricky. Because people have soft spots, triggers, topics that are more painful to deal with.From this perspective we can see how privacy is desired, but I also see how the desire to find someone who you do feel comfortable enough to trust is a permission slip to fall into openness.
People usually go through a guilt trip when they reminisce about the times when they had mask their true selves to live a life for approval and acceptance. Instead of getting in a loop by resisting the truth it is better to accept the past.This can create and honesty while simultaneously remaining in a positive vibration (which creates positive manifestation in your life) is… “I have not always acted honestly in the past, this causes me to know that I desire to act honestly now and in the future because integrity feels good and I’m often making choices in my life with integrity such as_________”.
This has to become a regular practice to break free of the shackles of living someone else’s life. Explore your self live a fulfilling life and be the best version of your self.
Free from desire, you realize the mystery. Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations. ―Lao Tzu (Taoism)
Desire has been an interesting topic among spiritual enthusiast. As stated in the quote above most of the school of thoughts teach us to be free of all our desires to attain moksha. I have always been wondering why try so hard to not desire when it is easy to experience and let go. Let us try to understand what is Desire? The deeply ingrained tendencies of attachments and desire are often referred to by the English translation “earthly desires.” However, since they also include hatred, arrogance, distrust and fear, the translation “deluded impulses” may in some cases be more appropriate.
But can such desires and attachments really be eliminated? Attachments are, after all, natural human feelings, and desires are a vital and necessary aspect of life. The desire, for example, to protect oneself and one’s loved ones has been the inspiration for a wide range of advances–from the creation of supportive social groupings to the development of housing and heating. Likewise, the desire to understand humanity’s place in the cosmos has driven the development of philosophy, literature and religious thought. Desires are integral to who we are and who we seek to become.
In this sense, the elimination of all desire is neither possible nor, in fact, desirable. Were we to completely rid ourselves of desire, we would end up undermining our individual and collective will to live. Many of the spiritual gurus and holy texts emphasize on being completely free of desire to attain enlightenment , but if we were to think even the desire to not desire is also a desire 🙂
Desire is also a means of creation so if we were to understand, for e.g. when we give birth to a desire then we are introducing new possibilities of creation in the universe. The suffering is not from the desires but from the fact whether we will be able to fulfill the desires. When we start seeing our self incapable and non deserving of achieving our desires we suffer.
In other words, desire is not the cause of suffering; it is the opposite of suffering. Desire is what feels good. The truth is, desire is good. Desire is what keeps us going in life. It’s not getting stuff that makes us happy, it’s wanting stuff, hoping for stuff, dreaming of stuff – stuff like love, success, adventure, or meaning. Desire itself is the payoff!
Sure, sometimes we’re frustrated. Sometimes we get what we want, only to find out that it’s not as great as we thought. But to try to eliminate the central feature of a good human life just because of these stumbling blocks is to throw the baby out with the bathwater. These stumbling blocks are a necessary cost of leading a good human life.
I had this interesting conversation with a friend who just shared a perspective on desire, the happiness associated with the fulfillment of desire is temporary it goes away once a desire is fulfilled but what is even more long lasting is the happiness of having one less desire from the laundry list of desires we have…when we evolve spiritually the desires also under go transformation , so they are no longer deluded impulses but they become more service oriented, they are more towards larger good and oneness.Desires and attachments are then seen as fueling the quest for enlightenment.
The whole idea is to desire from a state of being complete, there is nothing in this universe that we do not deserve, whether it is health, happiness, abundance or even moksha, nirvana all that is ever there and all that will ever be is owned by each one of us it is just our own inhibitions and lack in self that keeps us away from it.
When you know that you lack nothing, that all there is, is you and yours, desire ceases.
―Nisargadatta Maharaj
Hindus talk about Atman, or your true Self, and say that “you are that”. Buddhists talk about suchness, or tathagata, and say that the nature of mind has no self. On the face of it they are saying the exact opposite, and yet it’s also been said that they are saying the exact same thing. It takes a lot of meditation and study to know why they are saying the same thing. Every thought movement you have is you. It is Buddha mind. When taught to meditate, you are taught to not push away thoughts – if you have a desire, don’t stop it – don’t push it away – just notice it. Anything that we resist is persists so whether it is our thoughts while meditation or our desires , if we will resist it they will occur again and again. You start by dis-identifying with it. By noticing it, it is no longer you. But later your awareness becomes more encompassing and it makes just as much sense to say that everything that occurs is you.
So once you understand that whatever you desire is there for you ; life is all about what is worth the desire 🙂 . You just need to be mindful in keeping your desires out to the universe as they will be fulfilled …. ‘The Secret’ ‘Law of Attraction’ ‘Synchronicity’ all are tools . You are a luminous light being and a master manifestor when you open your heart to your highest good there is nothing that will not show up in your reality.
“When you really desire something, All the Universe conspires to achieve it for YOU” – Paulo Coelho
So if you are skeptical about the Paulo Coelho Quote read the abridged version, the secret lies in being in alignment with your soul /higher self/ buddha nature.
*The views expressed are totally an individual’s perspective with due respect to all gurus and religions.
The Third most influential Teacher in the world Dr Wayne Dyer in Wishes Fulfilled
We create our own reality “Law of Attraction” is a supreme law which is applicable across dimensions unlike law of gravity that is very specific to a 3rd dimensional reality.”The Secret” beautifully illustrated this Law and it was talked about in great details by several renowned new age spiritual teachers. Wayne W Dyer the new age spiritual leader had given a beautiful explanation in an interview quoting him.
“First of all, I think the law of attraction has been misstated. You do not attract what you want. You attract what you are. That’s how the law of attraction works.
Twenty-five centuries ago in ancient China, Lao-tzu said there were four virtues. If you live them—if you live in a place of God-consciousness—the universe will give you God-consciousness. If you live in a place of ego-consciousness, though, the universe will give you more of that.
One virtue is reverence for all of life. You revere all life. You never kill, you never harm, you never wish harm, and you never have thoughts of harm directed toward yourself or others. Another virtue is natural sincerity, which is manifested as honesty. Just be honest with who you are. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. Don’t be a phony. Walk your talk. That’s how God works, so doing it is emulating how Source works. The third virtue is gentleness, which manifests as kindness toward all others.
The fourth virtue, which is relevant here, is supportiveness. If you say to the universe, “Gimme, gimme, gimme,” which is what a lot of the work around the law of attraction says because of a misinterpretation, then the universe gives you back what you offered out. You get more “gimme, gimme, gimme.” “Gimme” means you don’t have enough. You have a shortage. The universe just keeps giving you more shortage because of what you’re thinking and saying.
If, on the other hand, you say to the universe again and again, “How may I serve? How may I serve? How may I serve?” and you live a life of constancy reflecting that principle, the universe will respond back, “How may I serve you?”
There can be several reasons why the Law of Attraction does not work in certain situations. The one main reason for not being in charge of creating our own reality is THE GHOSTS OF THE PASTS.….Prof Bruce Lipton in his book “Biology of Belief” highlighted that every cell in our body is a miniature human being in itself having its own brain, heart, respiratory system and reproductive system wondering ?? It is a beautiful impeccable system trust me 🙂
Each cell stores memories and programs of our past so imagine if while you were a toddler, you got hurt by a hot stove the painful memory associated with that event will always trigger. Same thing happens when we are in an abusive childhood or a painful relationship the hurt of the past is absorbed and stored and gradually as these memories get accumulated over 30-35 or even 60 years it becomes hard to break through these patterns.
We are unable to see the beauty of people instead we use the glasses of past to see them. This also interferes with the LOA the ghosts of the pasts keep visiting us and instead of creating what we want we end up manifesting what we worry about. Remember “Worrying works like a prayer for asking all that you do not want”
GHOSTS OF THE PAST
Law of Attraction is like standing in front of the mirror and reflecting our thoughts , so if you want money and your thoughts are about not being broke what you reflect to the mirror (universe) is being broke and you end up in a lack of finances.
Similarly when we want a beautiful body and we fuss over our over weight physique what we project to the universe is the image of a flabby figure and there you go , you have more flab 🙂
How to Overcome the Ghosts of the Past:
1. Let go of your past – Good Bad Ugly whatever has happened is done ; what you have today is a present so treat it with love and gratitude.
2. Take Ownership – You and only you are responsible for your life if you keep blaming others there can never be healing.
3. Forgive forgive forgive – There is no better therapy than the act of forgiveness how long do u want to carry the burden of your past??
4. Live in Gratitude – Each one of us came with a unique purpose so be awake and aware ; be of service, be kind and live each moment of life like it was meant to be. Be conscious creators and create from the point of love and gratitude.
People who are complaining spend their lives complaining; people who are grateful spend their life being grateful 🙂
Here is a video for all those who can not stop thinking or expecting the WORSE by Teal Swan refer video 2
Our Outer World is a reflection of our inner world; when we meditate or dive deep within we connect with the universe within. This helps us to realize the change that we seek in others in order to feel happy, loved and cared in life is only possible if we our self project these emotions towards us.
People around us are like mirrors they just reflect our inner feelings. Mindfulness , self love and meditations are beautiful tools to facilitate our inner connection.So if you really want the world outside to change then just move on to higher frequencies of love/joy/gratitude/appreciation.
Here is a video to help raise your vibrations 🙂
You are a luminous star dust ; let your light shine 🙂
Lots of Love Sargam!
10 fantastic quotes to help Raise Your Vibrations 🙂
1. “Drop the idea of becoming someone, because you are already a masterpiece. You cannot be improved. You have only to come to it, to know it, to realize it.” ―Osho
2. “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”―Wayne W. Dyer
3. “Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.” ―Paulo Coelho
4. “You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible.” —Deepak Chopra
5. “Sometimes in order to be happy in the present moment you have to be willing to give up all hope for a better past.” ―Robert Holden
6. “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ―Rumi
7. “What I know is that if you do work that you love, and the work fulfills you, the rest will come.”―Oprah Winfrey
The easiest way to practice spirituality in every day life is to love yourself. SELF LOVE is the new Prayer, a new Mantra , a new Meditation ”
When I was in my 2nd grade that is the time I remember I used to have so much fun looking myself in the mirror I could just be standing and looking my self for hours, making different hair styles, looking at my smile and making lots of faces 🙂 I also loved crying in front of the mirror and would smile seeing how I looked so beautiful even when I cried 😉
I was my own personal favorite 🙂 and always treated myself special but somehow it was hard for my friends to understand this act of self love, and they thought I was not humble. Gradually I learned that it was not good to tell people if you were good at anything upright as it was considered as being proud or boastful. I saw my parents rarely speaking about our accomplishments in front of us as they feared we would be flying on clouds of pride. Appreciation was rare and if some family/ friends complimented we would deflect the appreciation or shy away.
As I grew up I lost touch with the “self love” aspect and gradually it manifested as a self negating internal conversation of “I am not as good as xyz, her hair was better than mine, her grades are better, she sings better than me”. This constant negative self talk resulted in weight gain, dull complexion and poor self image. I started meeting people who reassured I am not so good and need to really work on my self physically and emotionally.
Even in my relationship I had tough time proving my worth 😦 but with time gradually I realized it was nothing to do with others but it was a reflection of my own thoughts and my own poor self image. In life we are all faced with tough situations testing times and if you instead of feeling victim of the external situations, you are able to look within and introspect you will understand how these people and situations are only a reflection . Thanks to my calling of Pranic Healing that helped me restore my faith in me 🙂 it made me believe I AM SPECIAL !!
From Buddha to the Hollywood actor Johny Depp has spoken about how important it is to love your self. A person who cannot love himself or inflicts himself/herself of pain is responsible for inflicting pain to others. If you love yourself you will understand and appreciate the individuality of others ; you will be able to respect and appreciate others with an open heart.
We live our life thinking our selves to be average and keep looking for some secret ingredient to make us special without realizing that the secret ingredient was always with us 🙂
Self Love helps us connect with our own self and trust me when I write this I write out of experience , the first time I stood in front of the mirror dropping all judgement about me and looked into my eyes there was so much I wanted to say to my self. There was so much love , so much acceptance I had deprived myself of. I had feared been alone by myself and I was just craving for someone else to love me, approve me, compliment me. After a couple of minutes there was this knowing that I was not just what I could see in the mirror I was so much more and it was a big revelation. I just silently promised I will again bring back that child in me. I am Special and I did not need an assurance or approval for thinking this.
I know most of us have been in situations where we do not have time for ourselves, we are too busy in caring and loving others waiting for them to love us but if we continue this for a long time we will become emotionally bankrupt. Self Love is the way to maintain your bank balance of love.
Some quick questions to check your Self Love Quotient
1. Can you take up compliments with gratitude without deflecting them? Yes
2. Do you feel people who speak about their accomplishments are boasting? No
3.Can you spend time with yourself alone? Yes
4.Is your conversation with self something negative (comparative/self hating/fault finding)?? No
5.Can you see your self in the mirror and smile n feel happy or you feel sad? Yes
If your answers are opposite to what are written then you need to work on your Self Love quotient 🙂
Tips to Cultivate Self Love
1. Pay Gratitude (maintain a gratitude journal for the little things you like about yourself)
2. Smile whenever you see the mirror n give a mental compliment
3.Go out alone and treat yourself
4.Pursue a passion
5. Develop a positive self talk habit
In the world where we teach humility and encourage to keep our happiness on least priority ; Self Love is the only savior – Love Sargam
Relationships are a great way to learn life lessons; whether you decide to stay in a relationship or move on is your personal choice but the best thing is to learn your life lesson than changing partners because the more you avoid the lessons the tough it gets 🙂
As a soul we choose our life experience , so we choose our parents and family member to help us learn and evolve as a person. Each member of the family has a karmic responsibility towards other family members to help them workout the unhealed aspect of their soul. So a bullying brother/ an abusive father/cranky mother or a lazy sister all are grouped together in a family. The universe works in macrocosm and microcosm. At human level the Karma/ learning starts from an individual, then there are family learning, then every place/area/city/state/country/continent has its own karma/learning and it expands to planets and solar systems.
So souls born in Africa/ Afghanistan chose these places as their birth place to go through a life experience based on the Karma/learning they wanted to go through.
Every family has a neural encodement that is passed on from child to parents with certain ideals and beliefs. You are automatically subjected to a thinking pattern/beliefs and ideals along with your own soul encodements. So you assess the world based on these encodements part of your neural patterns the aspects where they both are aligned there is a feeling of belonging and where there is non alignment between your soul and family neural patterns you face conflicts. These conflicts have a higher purpose to serve in your expansion. For e.g you chose to learn a lesson on Trust and Love . To understand what is love and trust you will be faced with the absence or lack of these emotions so you choose to be born to parents who were constantly under conflict based on trust issue and it resulted in an unhealthy childhood and a longing for love. Bybeing close to your family members you will pick up certain patterns in your subconscious which will mean love and trust to them.So if spending money was a way of showing love you will understand love through money, if helping household work was a way of showing love you will pick up service as love.
These subconscious pattern will lie dormant till you meet with triggers in your life , if there is an unhealed aspect of love and trust they will act as magnifying glass. So they will keep challenging your learning till you get aligned to your higher soul.
Most of the times when you end up in a relationship your subconscious will keep on picking signals of distrust from your childhood experiences. So if you will see anything that closely resembles the childhood experience you will react on impulse. This can make your relationships suffer and even end painfully. The thing you have to understand that the reactions that you pick from family are not applicable to the current relationship at all. They are just picked from your family conditioning which was 20 -30 yrs old or even 50-100 yrs based on the fact that your parents picked from theirs and so on….
Most people find it tough to alter their conditioning and continue to react based on their family conditioning this has actually lead to unhappy marriages/ divorce (not saying the only reason for divorce but this is one of the reasons) Now you must be wondering what is the life lesson and what can be done??
Here are 5 steps :
1. Reflect Your Family Tree
If there is a recurring pattern in the family e.g grand parents had a distanced married life, parents were brought up by a distressed parent insecurity/attention seeking attitude will be passed on to the parent (father/mother) the parents will repeat these behavior and the child will pick up the patterns and will judge his relationships through the pain of grandparent/parents (this can go beyond two generations)
2. Observe your Current Relationship
Check if your conditioned mind is dominant during danger situations 🙂 Danger is anything that your parents could not face; anything that triggered their reactivity. Because when your caregivers are reactive they’re not able give you care.Are you facing dangers?? If there is a pattern just question
i) What that situation means to you
ii) Why is it so bad?
These questions will help you understand whether the reaction is external or an area you need to work on
3. Check for Repetitive Emotional Drama
A repetitive drama can be due to an expectation based on how things should be based on your family conditioning/neural patterns. Now understand one thing your family conditioning and the person you are involved can have a different family conditioning and hence can cause a conflict too. e.g for you intimacy is a danger as your parents used it against each other but for your partner’s parents it was a fulfilling experience. So there will be an emotional drama from your end.
4. Liberate Yourself from Emotional Instability
Once you understand that you are dominated through your family conditioning which can be as old as 100 yrs or more you do not have to apply it to your relationship. Liberate yourself from emotional instability.
5. Forgive and Cut Cords
These experiences are learning at soul level so once you identify them do a forgiveness for your family members and ancestors and cut chords so that you are able to act from your higher self (buddha nature).
“Inner forgiveness gives you the ability to grow, to be free, and it also gives you the opportunity to generate positive karma.Inner forgiveness is therapeutic. If you do not forgive you cannot be internally healed. Forgiving heals the soul.”
Do you know the fastest way to spiritually and emotionally evolve in life??
Sargam Mishra 