Pranic Healing is an energy healing modality that is being used to perform distance healing for various physical and psychological issues.
Oct28
Author Archives: Sargam Mishra
Oct21
Understanding Allergies n Allergic Asthma – Your Internal Cry For Help
No, thanks, I’m allergic to nuts ,” announced the woman I was conversing with at a recent party. As the server walked away with the dry fruits tray, the woman continued telling me about her latest purchase for Diwali. I, however, remained fascinated by her nuts allergy, and wondered if she had issues of responsibility-avoidance, or whether she had an overindulgent mother.
My mind then drifted to my neighbor and her perfume sensitivity. Was she repressing her true feelings and denying the past? Did she grow up with a highly intrusive mother.
Allergies tell a story of how we live our lives. Are we at ease or feeling compromised? Allergies are tied to the quality of our thoughts, the suppression of our feelings, and are produced and perpetuated by the limiting patterns of behaviors created by our attitudes and beliefs.
Allergies stem from an inappropriate reaction of the immune system to certain proteins. These proteins are known as allergens, and they are usually common and harmless substances such as pollen, mold spores, animal dander, dust, various foods, insect venoms, or medicines.
The immune system is designed to identify intruders within the body and get rid of them. For an allergic person, however, the immune system has a hard time identifying which are the dangerous intruders, and which are okay. An allergic person has a hypersensitive immune system, which singles out a harmless substance (like the allergens mentioned above), then attacks it.
The type of symptoms an allergy sufferer shows depend on the type of allergen. Respiratory allergens cause symptoms like sneezing, sniffling, wheezing, coughing, runny nose, itchy eyes, sore throats, etc. Skin irritants can cause eczema, hives, or other reactions. Responses to food allergens vary greatly, and in severe cases can cause a possibly fatal condition, called anaphylaxis.
Allergic Asthma
Asthma can be more accurately defined as a group of symptoms, the most common of which being shortness of breath, wheezing, coughing, and excess production of mucous. Shortness of breath and wheezing can be experienced when the smooth muscle that lines the trachea and bronchii go into spasm, causing the air tubes to constrict, allowing less space for air to move freely in and out of the lungs. This is called broncho- spasm and can be caused by a number of conditions, some of which are: Allergies (foods, pollens, medications, etc.), infections of the respiratory tract, smoking, second hand smoke, dust, exercise, hyperventilation, cold air, smog, ingestion of certain drugs, intense emotion, and household/occupational chemicals to mention just a few.
In the past it was thought that asthma was mainly an emotional disorder. Today it is known that the basis of bronchial asthma is the hyper-irritability of and biochemical abnormality in the cells lining airways. However a subgroup of individuals who are under or have undergone stressful situations may find themselves suddenly wheezing.
Severe asthma can impact your work, school, family and leisure activities to such an extent that it significantly changes your quality of life. Asthmatic symptoms, when severe or limiting, can cause both physical as well as psychological discomfort. If you have asthma, you may live in constant fear of an asthmatic attack or become overly restrictive or limited in the choices of home life, work, travel, or other activities.
On the other hand, stress from fear, anger, work, or home related problems can have a significant impact on worsening asthmatic symptoms. In some rare situations, psychological illness can somehow be an underlying cause or trigger for recurrent asthmatic symptoms. If you are affected by this condition, you likely are unaware of the psychological problem causing your symptoms.
When psychological illness plays a central role in your asthma-like symptoms, you may not do very well with traditional asthma treatments. The best physicians may not be able to help you in this situation. Even if you are cooperative in your treatment program, you may have an ever increasing need for medications and become frequently sick without any clear trigger.
The Metaphysical Connection to the Nose
Our nose represent our own self recognition. Therefore, a symbol of intuitive discernment, taking in and sniffing out the truth.Our sense of smell is the most direct path to our emotions. What are you not recognizing? Is it your self worth (congested), not being recognized (bleeding), or runny (asking for help or crying
Once the Olfactory receptors identify an aroma nerve cells relay this information directly to the Limbic system of the brain. Here, aromas can trigger memories and influence behavior. Additionally, the Limbic system works in conjunction with the pituitary gland and the Hypothalamus region of the brain to regulate the hormonal activities thus triggering the production of hormones that govern appetite, body temperature, insulin production, overall metabolism, stress levels , sex drive , and conscious thought and reactions. The Limbic system also influences immunity.
The power of your mind and your belief system has everything to do with the condition, the speed and the way that you heal.
Our Belief System is one of the major factors that can get us through situations or can cause our life to crumble around us! I do believe that there is a lot of innate goodness and balancing our minds do subconsciously to get us through hard times. The other portion of this is how we “program” ourselves to deal with any given situation.
Our self-confidence and self-love are often the key to opening and strengthening this portion of our thoughts which in turn emanates from ourselves!
Energy follows thought. Program thought to be positive and your energy will reflect it!
Really appreciating what we DO have as opposed to what we would like to have, sometimes makes a significant difference. This is always an important element in healing that is often neglected.
http://pranahealing.net/index.php/feedback/3-physical/33-acute-allergy
Pranic Healing Testimonial for Allergies
Louis Hay Affirmation For Allergies:
ALLERGY & HAYFEVER: You are allergic to someone who or yourself denies your power
Affirmation: “The world is safe and friendly. I am safe. I am at peace with life.”
Sources :
http://vitalitymagazine.com/article/allergies-the-souls-cry-for-help/#sthash.IVpxbpvv.dpuf
Oct13
Blessings n Meditation to Manifest Your Goals in 2014
I would like to Thank Master Stephen Co for Starting this initiative on October 9 2014 ; this is a wonderful opportunity for Pranic Healers and Non Pranic Healers to feel the power of energy in manifesting a life of Health, Prosperity and healthy Relationships. As explained in my previous blog “Abundance is our State of Being” we are creating a life of abundance and Prosperity by our own thoughts this , this new blog will help you come in a state of collective abundance consciousness and help Manifest your goals.
We are being guided by a Master Pranic Healer (One of the 8 Acharyas in the world and Sr. Disciple of Master Choa Kok Sui) Master Stephen Co to help achieve our goals in 2014 with the power of blessings and meditation.
Join Master Stephen Co as we harness spiritual principles as a group to manifest our personal goals and to be an instrument to manifest goodness on a global level.
Tune in on Thursday, Oct 9th at 3pm-3:30pm PDT for our first session! Each session will be 30 minutes long and will take place once a month. Join this special group by subscribing to the email list on the right side of this page and receive updates on the next Manifesting Goodness Session!
These sessions will not be audio or video, instead you will do some goal setting on your own and then tune in energetically at the exact time that Master Co will be facilitating the manifestation process.
What you need to do:
1. MCKS Kriyashakti Graduates (Pranic Healing Practitioners)
- Invoke for Divine Blessings
- Affirm oneness with all those participating in this project through the I AM Affirmation
- Recite the Meditation on Prosperity 4 times
- Do 1-2 Kriyashaktis based on the methods you learned in class. Practicing these as a group at the same time will enhance the Kriyashaktis potency exponentially
- As part of your Kriyashaktis please include one for the Middle East Conflicts and one for the Ebola Crisis so that they may be Divinely Resolved
- For the last 5 minutes open your palms and then chant Om Mani Padme Hum 9 times. Be still and be receptive as your projects/goals are blessed
- Please email and give feedback
2. Non Kriyashakti Graduates (Non Pranic Healing Practitioners)
- Invoke for Divine Blessings
- Affirm oneness with all those participating in this project through the I AM Affirmation
- Recite the Meditation on Prosperity 4 times
- Visualize 1-2 goals/ projects that need some extra energy and offer them up to be energized by the group
- Also visualize that the Middle East Conflicts and the Ebola Crisis are being Divinely Resolved
- For the last 5 minutes open your palms and then chant Om Mani Padme Hum 9 times. Be still and be receptive as your projects/goals are blessed
- Please email and give feedback
The I AM Affirmation:
“I AM that I AM, I AM not the body; the body is a vehicle of the Soul. I AM not my emotions or my thoughts; they are just products of the Soul. I AM not even the mind. The mind is the just the instrument of the Soul. I AM the Soul! I AM a being of Divine Intelligence, Divine Love, and Divine Power. I AM connected to God. I AM one with God. I AM one with All. I AM the Soul!”
Meditation on Prosperity
It is in giving that we receive.
As we sow abundantly,
We reap abundantly.
This is the Divine Law.
As I give and share generously and abundantly,
my life is blessed with great financial
and material prosperity.
Money flows to me easily, constantly
and in great abundance.
Whatever I invest comes back to me
many, many times.
My life is Blessed with
so much Abundance,
so much Prosperity,
so much Success.
I am blessed with tremendous prosperity
And I lived a life of moderation,
Discipline and spirituality.
I am healthy and very happy.
I am enjoying every moment of my life.
May every person, every being be blessed with
good health, happiness, prosperity and spirituality.
With thanks and in full faith. So be it.
OM MANI PADME HUM:
For Consultation on Prosperity, Feng Shui and Manifestation you can contact me on my website: Healing Mind Body n Soul
Wish you all the very best – Lots of Love Sargam
– See more at : http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-11041/a-meditation-for-when-youre-stressing-about-money.html
– See more at: http://pranichealing.com/article/experience-coming-home#sthash.6TqmYEaJ.dpuf
– See more at: http://www.pranichealing.com/ManifestGoodness#sthash.uR7XOAyf.dpuf
Oct8
Thank You for 21,000 Blog Hits :)
Oct7
Abundance is Your State of Being – 7 Steps to Tune into Abundance
” Abundance is not Something we Acquire. It is Something We Tune into” – Wayne W Dyer
Most of us lead our life evaluating whether we deserve to be happy, prosperous and successful in life. Most of us start to evaluate our deserving coefficient in childhood when we are told we have to struggle and work really hard or have to be super talented to be abundant in our life. So if we need an expensive toy or a new dress we are just shunned saying money is something which does not grow on trees but is earned in a hard way. ……………………………………And here starts our hard journey with abundance 🙂
Every thing around us is energy and once you understand energy and how it affects our health and relationships in the same way it also affects abundance in our life. Abundance is a type of energy and therefore it follows the principles of energy such as attraction and repulsion.To achieve a higher degree of prosperity and abundance therefore, there should be enough prosperity energy in you.
We attract what we are in thoughts , word and actions 🙂 so if you think earning money is not easy it will never be easy for you as energy follows thoughts. Abundance is our natural state, and the entire physical universe with all its abundance is the offspring of an unbounded, limitless field of all possibilities. The only person who can limit the possibilities for your abundant life is you and no one else.
If we want to learn and understand the secret of abundance lets just look at the most abundant entity on our planet ; Nature it has not limit itself to few it has abundance of air , water and earth for each one of us and is a constant supply. Nature does not hold back its resources in fear or exhausting them but is generous to give and share with all beings without discrimination. “The Universe is Abundance” and the more we share and give generously it provides us with more as it is a limitless supply.
In order to be receptive to the abundance and prosperity energy here are some personal tips that I want to share with all of you 🙂
1. Cultivate Prosperity Thinking rather than Scarcity Thinking.
We understand what we constantly think and feel shapes our reality so just check for yourself what is your relationship with abundance and prosperity.
A scarcity thought may sounds like this: “There isn’t enough..(time, money, love, trust, etc)”, “I can’t afford that because…” , it is fear based and produces a feeling of anxiety, worry, stress, constriction and tightness. It does not feel good. You can recognize these thoughts by how you feel when they come up. DO a “gut check” and see what your thoughts are telling you.
An abundant thought may sound more like this: “There is always enough.”, “I trust that I am where I am meant to be at this very moment.”, “Money is a renewable resource.”, “I welcome infinite possibilities, I will receive.”, “I have enough.”, ” I am enough.”. These thoughts feel like “truth”, calming, a knowing that you are loved and taken care of, they feel easy and have a natural flow and allowing to them.
2. Gratitude, Gratitude Gratitude
Gratitude, Appreciation and Love are emotions that raise your vibrations instantly and if you understand energy once you are in a high vibration state you can attract more positive situations in life. Remember “We attract what we ARE and not what we WANT” so if you want to attract abundance you have to feel and think abundant and the emotion that represents abundance is Gratitude. I personally maintain a gratitude journal and always find ways to express it. You can find your own way of making it work to your advantage.
3. Tithing (Giving away a portion of your salary to people and organizations that support humanity)
Tithing is actually giving away a 10% of your salary /income to people who help you in your life. You can divide it among your parents (they gave you your body), Spiritual teachers/institutions they feed your soul growth, your Staff (they make your life easy so that you can focus on more meaningful work) and some for charitable organizations helping humanity.
Giving is a characteristic associated with someone with an abundance mindset, Universe is abundance so when you give away a part of your income the universe fills up this vacuum with more than you give away.
4. “What you want in Life Give more of it”
This is a golden rule I have imbibed since becoming a healer, when ever we need anything in our life be it happy relationships, love, money or health start giving it. The moment you give it , it is circulated and comes back to you with even more rigor. Energy is like blood it should keep flowing else it forms a sludge. Abundance, prosperity, health , happiness love are also energy the more you restrict their flow the more you feel depleted of and the more you share the more it circulates back to you.
5. Your Heart is a compass monitor your emotions as a guidance system for your connection to the universal mind of intention.
Strong emotions such as passion and bliss are indications that you’re connected to Spirit, or inspired , if you will. When you’re inspired, you activate dormant forces, and the abundance you seek in any form comes streaming into your life. When you’re experiencing low-energy emotions of rage, anger, hatred, anxiety, despair, and the like, that’s a clue that while your desires may be strong, they’re completely out of sync with the field of intention. Remind yourself in these moments that you want to feel good, and see if you can activate a thought that
6. “SELF Love”
A person who has no love for self can never be able to love others, the actions will mostly be to be approved by others, so they will spend their life pleasing others in order to get love and appreciation. This attitude obstructs the abundance flow. Abundance is where happiness is and when we give the remote of our happiness to others it is only temporary. So love your self and spend your time in doing what you love the most.
7. Mantra of prosperity from India “Lakshmi Gayatri Mantra”
I wanted to write this blog on the occasion of Diwali a Hindu festival celebrated with lots of zeal and devotion among Indians this is a special festival also associated with Prosperity and abundance and worship of Goddess Lakshmi (The deity for prosperity and abundance) it is on the 23rd of October 2014.
You can play this Mantra in the morning everyday as a prayer to start your day in Abundance
Here is the link to the audio of Lakshmi Gayatri Mantra
May Goddess Lakshmi shower you with Abundance in Life this Diwali ❤ – Lots of Love and Best Wishes Sargam ❤
Personal recommendation for people who want to heal their life and cultivate the Abundance consciousness to enrol for MCKS Kriyashakti program.
Sep30
ACL Post-Surgery 11 weeks
It was nice to connect with Nina for providing distance pranic healing for her post ACL surgery. Wish her all the very best !! Love
Almost 3 months post-op! Summary is below 🙂
11-week Recap
- Saw my surgeon on Monday – he said my knee looked great! Still a little swelling, but it should go away soon. The pain under my knee cap is caused by weakness in my quad, and it will eventually go away. No running till 16 weeks – my surgeon said even professional athletes that do rehab every day shouldn’t be running till 16 weeks – too much risk of stretching out the graft.
- The part of my leg that is numb and looks all vein-y and weird when I workout – just caused by damaged nerves. My surgeon said it takes up to 9 months to get full feeling back.
- Surgeon also said I could wear heels now if I wanted – he said it just depends on if I am willing to risk wearing them! Obviously more risk of…
View original post 678 more words
Sep16
The pulling together of core groups with certain soul groups for the next phase: 2014 -2024
As massive portals have now opened up there is a magnetic pull from soul to soul to unite for specific purposes.
There are core groups of souls from within certain soul groups, who have come in for specific tasks or missions to accomplish. They were involved with the creation of the planet from the very beginning, and have returned to assist the planet through this phase of transformation.
Some have been working over lifetimes to bring back the ancient keys and codes to mankind and have held them in custody. They at as the e-missionaries of Love, Wisdom and Power when the earth goes through intense and massive changes, and then lead the rest through such shifts.
It is no accident when such souls are being pulled together – it is by grand design.
There are souls on this planet who have been involved with the establishments of the first…
View original post 959 more words
Sep9
Desire THE Way To Enlightenment in 201X
Free from desire, you realize the mystery.
Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.
―Lao Tzu (Taoism)
Desire has been an interesting topic among spiritual enthusiast. As stated in the quote above most of the school of thoughts teach us to be free of all our desires to attain moksha. I have always been wondering why try so hard to not desire when it is easy to experience and let go. Let us try to understand what is Desire? The deeply ingrained tendencies of attachments and desire are often referred to by the English translation “earthly desires.” However, since they also include hatred, arrogance, distrust and fear, the translation “deluded impulses” may in some cases be more appropriate.
But can such desires and attachments really be eliminated? Attachments are, after all, natural human feelings, and desires are a vital and necessary aspect of life. The desire, for example, to protect oneself and one’s loved ones has been the inspiration for a wide range of advances–from the creation of supportive social groupings to the development of housing and heating. Likewise, the desire to understand humanity’s place in the cosmos has driven the development of philosophy, literature and religious thought. Desires are integral to who we are and who we seek to become.
In this sense, the elimination of all desire is neither possible nor, in fact, desirable. Were we to completely rid ourselves of desire, we would end up undermining our individual and collective will to live. Many of the spiritual gurus and holy texts emphasize on being completely free of desire to attain enlightenment , but if we were to think even the desire to not desire is also a desire 🙂
Desire is also a means of creation so if we were to understand, for e.g. when we give birth to a desire then we are introducing new possibilities of creation in the universe. The suffering is not from the desires but from the fact whether we will be able to fulfill the desires. When we start seeing our self incapable and non deserving of achieving our desires we suffer.
In other words, desire is not the cause of suffering; it is the opposite of suffering. Desire is what feels good. The truth is, desire is good. Desire is what keeps us going in life. It’s not getting stuff that makes us happy, it’s wanting stuff, hoping for stuff, dreaming of stuff – stuff like love, success, adventure, or meaning. Desire itself is the payoff!
Sure, sometimes we’re frustrated. Sometimes we get what we want, only to find out that it’s not as great as we thought. But to try to eliminate the central feature of a good human life just because of these stumbling blocks is to throw the baby out with the bathwater. These stumbling blocks are a necessary cost of leading a good human life.
I had this interesting conversation with a friend who just shared a perspective on desire, the happiness associated with the fulfillment of desire is temporary it goes away once a desire is fulfilled but what is even more long lasting is the happiness of having one less desire from the laundry list of desires we have…when we evolve spiritually the desires also under go transformation , so they are no longer deluded impulses but they become more service oriented, they are more towards larger good and oneness.Desires and attachments are then seen as fueling the quest for enlightenment.
The whole idea is to desire from a state of being complete, there is nothing in this universe that we do not deserve, whether it is health, happiness, abundance or even moksha, nirvana all that is ever there and all that will ever be is owned by each one of us it is just our own inhibitions and lack in self that keeps us away from it.
When you know that you lack nothing, that all there is, is you and yours, desire ceases.
―Nisargadatta Maharaj
Hindus talk about Atman, or your true Self, and say that “you are that”. Buddhists talk about suchness, or tathagata, and say that the nature of mind has no self. On the face of it they are saying the exact opposite, and yet it’s also been said that they are saying the exact same thing. It takes a lot of meditation and study to know why they are saying the same thing. Every thought movement you have is you. It is Buddha mind. When taught to meditate, you are taught to not push away thoughts – if you have a desire, don’t stop it – don’t push it away – just notice it. Anything that we resist is persists so whether it is our thoughts while meditation or our desires , if we will resist it they will occur again and again. You start by dis-identifying with it. By noticing it, it is no longer you. But later your awareness becomes more encompassing and it makes just as much sense to say that everything that occurs is you.
So once you understand that whatever you desire is there for you ; life is all about what is worth the desire 🙂 . You just need to be mindful in keeping your desires out to the universe as they will be fulfilled …. ‘The Secret’ ‘Law of Attraction’ ‘Synchronicity’ all are tools . You are a luminous light being and a master manifestor when you open your heart to your highest good there is nothing that will not show up in your reality.
“When you really desire something, All the Universe conspires to achieve it for YOU” – Paulo Coelho
So if you are skeptical about the Paulo Coelho Quote read the abridged version, the secret lies in being in alignment with your soul /higher self/ buddha nature.
*The views expressed are totally an individual’s perspective with due respect to all gurus and religions.
The Third most influential Teacher in the world Dr Wayne Dyer in Wishes Fulfilled
credits:http://www.sgi.org/buddhism/buddhist-concepts/desires.html
Why the Buddha was wrong. Desire is not the origin of suffering.
Sep7
Understanding Sciatica Pain – Emotional Causes and Pranic Healing Treatment
Sciatica, also called sciatic neuritis, is used to describe symptoms of pain, tingling, numbness and weakness that can radiate from the lower back all the way down to the foot.
These symptoms result from the compression or irritation of one of 5 nerve roots in the spine (sacral nerves S1, S2, or S3 or lumbar nerves L4 or L5) that connect and form the 2 sciatic nerves, or pinching or irritation of the sciatic nerve itself.
The sciatic nerve is the longest and thickest nerve in the body, and originates in the lumbar spine. It then runs down through the buttock area and continues along the back of the leg and branches off to the tibial and common fibular (peroneal) nerves down to the foot.
In most cases, when a sciatic nerve is compressed only one side is affected with pain, although the pain may alternate from one side to the other. Occasionally, the pain is felt on both sides of the lower back and legs.
Although sciatica pain can be debilitating, most people who suffer from sciatica can find pain relief with non-surgical treatments .Treating the cause of the nerve compression is important to prevent sciatica pain from returning.
Symptoms of Sciatica
- Pain, tingling or numbness that radiates through the lower back, buttocks, and down the back of the leg possibly as far as the foot
- Pain starts slowly and worsens after standing, sitting, bending backward, walking or sleeping at night
- Difficulty walking, bending and or sitting
- Muscle weakness in the hip and/or leg
Emotional Causes
Now let us focus on the emotional causes or the though patterns associated with it. The person is overburden. Sciatic pain occurs in the lumbar area, like lumbago. This may be due to the fact that the person is attempting to portray an image of grandeur and diligence or because the person is proud, does not like to ask for help and believes he can take care of himself and does not need anyone else. Sciatic pain happens for the person to stop and examine his life.
The need to demonstrate grandeur results from a hidden feeling of inferiority. In fact, the person finds it extremely difficult to move away from old beliefs and habits. The need to be self-sufficient and not asking for help indicates pride, which also denotes difficulty in backing off from old beliefs and habits. Sciatic pain occurs mostly in the intervertebral discs, between L4 and L5, or between L5 and S1.
It is precisely in the lumbar area that tensions in the relationship with the partner are located, the same applying to affection, family, work and money, material things, the home, space and mobility, the place where one lives. Everything that represents the person’s roots.
The compression of the disks that sciatic pain represents, instead of leading to a person’s increased grandeur, rather leads to a literal physical shrinkage. The person often ends up with a bent back.
In Eastern medicine, sciatic is related to a problem in the gall bladder meridian. The gallbladder is an organ that facilitates digestion. It is a form of psychological assistance to digestion. The tension that the person feels at this stage is that of anger, resentment, and a taste of something that left a bitter tang.
Gall bladder related conditions indicate difficulty in managing problems, in getting situations clear. What is my place? Am I being given the right recognition? The person undergoes major anger fits, feels helpless, but will not express his feelings. For this reason, he will not expel the bile, keeping it in instead.
There is bitterness, disapproval, pride, hard, rigid thoughts, and self-inflicted violence. The person is excessively controlled and does not allow his life to flow.
From a practical viewpoint, sciatic pain is a trapped nerve in the lumbar area. Since nerves represent communication, sciatic pain denotes difficulty to communicate with someone at home or at work. It is important to start by examining which of the legs is affected.
Pranic Healing is very useful in healing Sciatica Pain
This is how Pranic Healing is used for aligning and aleviating back pain
Sources:
http://www.luismartinssimoes.com/homepage/
http://www.mendmyhip.com/sciatica-hip-pain-injury/sciatica-hip-pain-treatments.php
Sep4
Learning the Language of Love – Secret to Mutual Happy Relationships
I am sure we all have asked questions in our relationship about ‘Why is my relationship not working the way it used to be’ at some point in our life. I have heard words in sessions like “Our love is gone, there is no spark in our relationship. We used to feel close, but I think he doesn’t love me any more. Is he seeing someone else, we do not enjoy being with each other. etc etc. If they seem familiar to you probably you are struggling in speaking the right emotional Love Language of your partner. As Gary Chapman explains in his best selling book ‘No matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse understands only Chinese,you will never understand how to show love to each other.’ At the heart of human existence there is a deep desire to be intimate and to be loved.Marriage is designed to meet that need for intimacy and love.
We all need love to feel good; each of us has an emotional love tank and it is important to keep it full for a healthy relationship. Having healthy arguments, disagreements and view points are perfectly alright now and then.
“Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys.”
― Nicholas Sparks, Safe Haven
When we are ‘In Love’ we have these amazing chemical releases within our bodies so initially our partner appears to be the perfect soul mate we could ever have but gradually we get immune to these chemical activity and start to descend from the clouds of imaginations and plant our feet on earth to experience the reality. We can then recognize the irritating personality traits of our partner, where hairs are always in the sink and little white spots on the mirror, where arguments center around whether the toilet door should be closed or the lid should be up or down. In this real world, a look can hurt and a word can crush. Intimate lovers can become enemies and marriage a battlefield.
All this is a normal life of a couple; most of the time we have two options
1. We are destined to a life of misery with our spouse (or may be just fool around outside)
2. We must jump ship and try again( Re marriage)
Or there is a better way: Just reorganize the love experience 🙂 I know when we do not have any love around having to reorganize the love experience does not make sense. Lets understand it, if someone is extremely hungry he/she will want to eat but if he/she is all full even if you bring in the best of dishes he will say no. Same thing is with love if a person’s love tank is full , he will feel secure, the whole world looks bright and will want to focus on more meaningful things in life.
Here is an example of a couple:
I tell Selena I love her at least a few times each day – but the phrase has very little bearing on whether or not she feels loved. I can say it, text it, email it, and write it in the clouds but if my actions don’t show her I love her the words quickly lose their meaning – they’re merely a quick breath of air formed into three syllables of consonants and vowels.
I also show Selena I love her by kissing her. But kisses I give to her don’t mean as much as her kisses given to me. Why? Because we speak different love languages… Selena feels most loved when we spend good amounts of quality time together with good conversation. Nothing fills her love-bucket like a devoted day together – free from distraction and diversion. If I give her a kiss or tell her I love her after a day together, she knows it and she feels it.
I’m learning that speaking her language, her love language, actually involves very little speaking at all. Saying “I love you” with words is much more meaningful when it’s reinforced by action.
I believe it’s our duty as husbands (and wives) to learn how to best communicate love to our spouses. Once learned, it then becomes our glad obligation to speak their language regularly.
Let us see what these Love Languages are:
Dr. Gary Chapman has identified 5 Major Love Languages:
1. Words of Affirmations – Verbal Compliments, or word of appreciation are powerful communicators of love.
2. Acts of Service – For these people actions speak louder than words, doing the dishes, helping in with kids/home are their way of accepting love
3. Receiving Gifts – For some people what makes them feel most loved is to receive gifts
4. Quality Time – For these people it is about spending good quality time with their partner, no more phone calls, private vacation, a nice long drive or just a hearty talk
5. Physical Touch – A nice hug, a pat on the shoulder, a kiss or just holding hands these people want to feel the love in the touch.
I know you must be wondering that we all love may be to have all 5 of them but there is a primary love language and we should try to learn master it for both ourselves and for our spouse.
Here is how you can start to know what is your primary love language there is a short quiz:
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
Here is a step by step approach to start your Love Language journey 🙂
Step 1. Find out what is your Primary Love Language and also what is your partner’s
Step 2. Sit together when you are in each other’s happy company and try to learn more about it.
Step 3. Explore what works for both of you
Step 4. Learn to keep the Love Tank Full in your relationship by avoiding gestures (refer table below to start)
Step 5. Forgive and let go of the past and See your marriage and your partner in a brighter light
Disclaimer :All the above steps work only if you can love your self first. Refer my blog on Self Love. Remember a beggar can never give so first fill up your love tank with self love and then work on your relationship.
https://sargammishra.wordpress.com/2014/05/19/there-is-no-secret-ingredient-self-love/
Understand every relationship can become beautiful , it just needs an emotional commitment and YOU can be the trigger.
You can also read “The 5 Love Languages” – By Dr. Gary Chapman and try experimenting. I am also adding few videos for you all. Have a wonderful relationship. – Love Sargam
Sargam Mishra 