Tag Archives: self love

Jul28

Emotional PAIN – Doorway to Inner Alchemy

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Pain the doorway to Inner Alchemy Sargam Mishra

This blog is a part of a conversation with a parent whose child recently went through a break up and was extremely miserable. It is really amazing how thoughts get triggered when I am put in situation 🙂 The approach that was followed by the parent was to provide the child as many self help tips and valuable advise that was available to disconnect him from the PAIN but finally there was nothing that was actually working for him. The reason that I feel that self help gyan, spirituality etc does not work at this time is because it means we are somewhere we are not suppose to be.

I was just thinking if we keep reinforcing that the situation due to which a person is in PAIN is something that in first place should not happen and if it has happened one needs to be out of it asap or run from it. This can create a feeling of shame or failure in the child/person. Instead if we can follow the approach that it is just OKAY to go through a situation in life to learn as we are not born with experience instead we gather it on our life journey, this becomes a more positive situation for the child/person.

It takes 3 seconds flat to come to this life and realize PAIN is part of our life. But it takes an entire life to accept the reality that YES PAIN is a part of our life and it is OKAY…….Stop running away from facing the reality that yes life will be painful whenever we will fall out of a relationship, or when we will lose our loved ones …my first encounter with PAIN I mean the really brutal encounter was when I lost my mother..as a child I was really afraid to grow up thinking that if I grew up my parents and dear relatives will grow old and I will have to see them die. That thought used to freeze me when I was only 6 yrs old….I used to sit in rooms and mull over it but I never told this to anyone.

When the day I lost my mother I had no idea that the real pain would be far greater than I had imagined. My father is a strong man and he never made himself vulnerable in front of anyone during this loss and so I decided I will not cry and just accept the pain as with the loss. I saw many of my relatives howling and crying but I stayed calm and dissociated myself with the fact that she is gone.

So basically I became numb to the PAIN and moved away when I felt emotionally battered I shifted my focus to studies or be with friends etc. But at one point I felt I am cheating my self as I could not just be all right or pretend I was all right when I was not . I had a tough time accepting that it is all right to be with this PAIN and respect the pain and live it …. I will never complain or make it a reason of my suffering instead will respect this parting away. The pain made me super sensitive to people and their pain and suffering. Healing and consultation needs a lot of empathy, landing into a healing profession and being able to share myself with people in similar situations is a result of knowing and being friendly with the PAIN.

I have realized that PAIN is not a curse or the materialization of our BAD KARMA the way we are told. However it is an opportunity to be present with our self , to be present with our emotions. This is the reason why Buddhism teachings revolve around suffering and PAIN. As children we are always told people who suffer in life are those who have done bad deeds so they have to suffer to neutralize the Karma. Instead the truth is if you use the PAIN to your advantage one can create a whole new meaning of life. The suffering is a result of not being able to to use the pain to our advantage instead trying to run away from it or hide. When we see pain as a deviation from the normal it becomes unacceptable or something that should be avoided so if you are in pain divert your mind, join a dance class, watch a movie or get drunk.

I am sure many of us have tried these escapes but what happens ?? The next time it come in as a more stronger wave of emotion. What if I told you PAIN is good , it is alright perfectly alright to have a failed relationship, it is alright to be hopeless and miserable. When we try things in life there are fair chances to be successful or fail. This is perfectly normal. That is how we learn , somethings are not meant for us …if we all got 100 percent in all our subjects we will never know what we are really really good at.

Our dear President APJ Abdul Kalam wanted to be an Air Force pilot however failed in his exam here is an excerpt from his writing:

I still remember the ache in my heart as I attempted to make sense of what had happened. When a dearly held desire begins to break up, one can feel nothing but despair and emptiness as one tries to come to terms with the end of a dream. I could not bear to be indoors after seeing the result. I had to go out for air and be in the open, because all around me the walls seemed to close in. I walked around for a while till I reached the edge of a cliff. I stood there looking down at the shimmering waters of a lake and wondered what I should do next. Plans needed to be changed and priorities reassessed. I decided to go to Rishikesh for a few days and seek a new way forward.

I was granted an audience with Swami Sivananda himself. My being a Muslim did not affect him in any way. Instead, before I could speak, he asked what had filled me with sorrow. I only fleetingly wondered how he knew about my sadness before I embarked on any explanation of the recent developments in my life. He listened calmly and then washed away my anxieties with a smile of deep peacefulness. His next words were some of the most profound I had ever heard. His feeble yet deep voice still resonates when I think of them: “Accept your destiny and go ahead with your life. You are not destined to become an air force pilot. What you are destined to become is not revealed now but it is predetermined. Forget this failure, as it was essential to lead you to your destined path. Search, instead, for the true purpose of your existence.”

We need no clue as to what happened to this gentleman post his failure 🙂 but at that point in life it was a dream crashing down.He could have mulled over it for life , committed a suicide, got drunk or what ever you can imagine 🙂

In the scheme of larger things there are no mistakes and no coincidences. You are where you are suppose to be at this very moment. Mistakes in life help you to find your way when you are lost. Getting lost is not a crime we were not born with an inbuilt GPS system 😛 right?

A beautiful video clip: It is Perfectly Normal to make mistakes in life, our parents , society, friends have to be compassionate and acceptable to the idea of failure and pain.We will have to change the way we have been looking at people and situations. Today’s generation is taking more risks , trying out more than our previous generations and hence they have more to learn and explore and this can only happen when we learn to fail and accept the pain that follows it.

There are no MISTAKES in life !! I repeat no mistakes it is just how the source brings you back to your life path….so stop grinning ,complaining, cursing instead ask your self what is the next right move… that is it …stop thinking about how big the situation is …you just need that next right move…..

TIPS to Deal with Pain:

1. Be Vulnerable – Allow yourself to be exposed to being ok in asking for help or sharing your story with people. do not shut your self. Most of the time we tell people we are self sufficient and can survive well by meeting our own needs. This is actually a common lie we tell ourselves often because we hesitate to fulfill that need by asking anyone for it as it makes us vulnerable and prone to be rejected or hurt.
However it is empowering to know that we can create people and situations to show up in our reality through manifestation. So we can manifest people having complimentary needs thereby leading to a more fulfilling life.

2.Instead of Looking at your whole life focus on the next right move – Most of us when fail in life we start fearing the uncertainities of life. We want to know what will happen to me 2yrs post a divorce, will I get the right partner, will I be having financial security etc etc. This thought process takes up the strength to move ahead in life.

Instead when we are in a lot of mess the only question we should think about is the next right move and then follow it with next right move and so on. Future is created every moment by moving in the right direction. So just follow your joy. Live an hour better and then the next and it will make up a beautiful day.

3.Create your ME Time – We are living in an ocean of thought forms sometime what we think is a result of what my next door neighbor is projecting in his thoughts. It is very important to distinguish your thoughts from the borrowed thought form of your environment. So take some time out to meditate to be able to connect your self to know what should be your life like.

4. Self Love – This is my favorite remember you cannot love anyone if you do not love yourself. Make your feelings , your life a priority till you get comfortable living it every day. A happy person can only create happiness around himself/herself.

5. Do Service – Do random acts of kindness and create difference in life of others it brings immense amount of joy and we also realize that life is a gift which  should be used well.

Sargam is an experienced Relationship Counsellor and uses energy healing techniques for guidance and healing of emotional issues. She also runs a 21 Day Relationship Healing event with more than 2500 participants online. If you need guidance fix up a skype session, mail your question or fix up a telephonic session, take prior appointment on healingmindbodynsoul@gmail.com

Mar16

Our Vulnerable Authentic Self

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We judge, love doesn’t. We judge and we judge and we never stop judging for that is all we know what to do.

When we judge we separate from love for it is impossible to be in the heart and to judge at the same time.

We all want to experience our Authentic Self but most of us are living a life putting up different masks. So there are many versions of “Me” : For Friends, for close Relationships, for Professional work and sometimes a version of Me for Me in my dark moments and Me in my Happy Moments.

Can you imagine how much time and effort we spend in maintaining and living these different versions of ME?? And sometimes living so many lives in one life we end up exhausted unable to live the life we really wanted to. Being vulnerable or being our true self is considered a weakness by many of us. It is hard for us to see and accept people when they are open about their life issues and problems. Sometimes we just don’t want to express our sadness and sorrows as we want to deal with them alone. It was really interesting for me when I started on my relationship journey there were interesting situations that just cropped up every few months and I always wonder if my relationship was worth pursuing. Most of my friends appeared super happy, later when we spoke in depth I realized how everyone had their own struggles. Due to our own internal wow of secrecy and The I AM ALRIGHT SYNDROME when things may not be alright at all ; we create barriers and boundaries in relationships. Most issues in relationships are because of avoiding vulnerability. As exposing our weaknesses in a relationship makes us feel powerless , at high risk of being hurt. But we only realize it later that one can develop deeper bonds by connecting with others once we have exposed ourselves completely.

“To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees – these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. But, I’m learning that recognizing and leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude and grace.”

brene brown n vulnerability

Most of us go through similar situations, when a loved one passes away, when we are in a broken relationship, when there are family issues we just act to be ALL RIGHT due to this internal Vow of Secrecy. The fear of being judged and being labelled as vulnerable is so big that we just don’t want to share. So we remain with the wounds for the rest of our life and energetically we obstruct the flow of the life force energy within us.

As human beings we thrive and grow on LOVE ; the moment we create boundaries and barriers for love to flow we restrict the flow of life force energy within us.This manifests as physical and emotional illness. Healing can only happen when we are ready to be vulnerable, when we are open to share the pain and issues no matter how deep and ugly they are.

We talk about feeling One with god and one with all this “Oneness” is only possible when we are able to open ourselves and allow healing of our wounds.Our shadow aspects or darker areas of life can only be healed when we allow or open up to receiving the love and light.

Our Modern medicine system is highly evolved but it fails miserably because by medicine alone we cannot heal the broken heart that causes heart disease. We cannot heal diabetes by injecting and controlling insulin because there needs to be an emotional clearing. We are losing our connection with our own feelings and emotions ; we are unable to listen to what our bodies are telling us. As a friend, a parent or a loved one the only thing we can do is help people be their authentic self ; allow them to be vulnerable to love. We are emotional beings and any healing will not help if it does not address the emotions by touching our hearts. We need healers, counselors and coaches that can help us as friends ,walk with us no matter how broken we are.

When we are vulnerable we put away the fancy airs
we put on and drop our self-image, which is always
hoping to look a little better than we actually feel.

Love n Masks. Sargam

“The most important key to finding the Love of the heart  is found in our willingness and ability to be vulnerable”

 

1.Vulnerability is so much easier when you love yourself.

Think about it. When you don’t love all of you and are afraid to show people the less than stellar parts, the space between you and vulnerability is like the Grand Canyon. You will need all the courage you can get to make the leap across.

But when you love yourself, and I mean all of you, you don’t worry so much if someone else doesn’t. And when you’re less afraid of rejection, you step right into that place of openness.

2. Vulnerability takes practice 

You don’t just learn it once and then—ta-dah!—you’re easily open to everything and everyone. It takes constant practice and deliberate choice to be vulnerable.

3. The rewards of vulnerability are immeasurable.

With vulnerability, you experience true connection—true love for yourself—and you begin to attract people to you who are inspired by your openness.

While it’s not easy to be vulnerable, you’d be surprised how loving all of you and then sharing it with another can help you to connect with anyone. In my own life, I’m continuing to open up through my blogs and by sharing my experiences.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”
― Brené Brown

Oct7

Abundance is Your State of Being – 7 Steps to Tune into Abundance

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” Abundance is not Something we Acquire. It is Something We Tune into” – Wayne W Dyer

sargam prosperity

 Most of us lead our life evaluating whether we deserve to be happy, prosperous and successful in life. Most of us start to evaluate our deserving coefficient in childhood when we are told we have to struggle and work really hard or have to be super talented to be abundant in our life. So if we need an expensive toy or a new dress we are just shunned saying money is something which does not grow on trees but is earned in a hard way.  ……………………………………And here starts our hard journey with abundance 🙂

Every thing around us is energy  and once you understand energy and how it affects our health and relationships in the same way it also affects abundance in our life. Abundance is a type of energy and therefore it follows the principles of energy such as attraction and repulsion.To achieve a higher degree of prosperity and abundance therefore, there should be enough prosperity energy in you.

We attract what we are in thoughts , word and actions 🙂 so if you think earning money is not easy it will never be easy for you as energy follows thoughts.  Abundance is our natural state, and the entire physical universe with all its abundance is the offspring of an unbounded, limitless field of all possibilities. The only person who can limit the possibilities for your abundant life is you and no one else.

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If we want to learn and understand the secret of abundance lets just look at the most abundant entity on our planet ; Nature it has not limit itself to few it has abundance of air , water and earth for each one of us and is a constant supply. Nature does not hold back its resources in fear or exhausting them but is generous to give and share with all beings without discrimination. “The Universe is Abundance” and the more we share and give generously it provides us with more as it is a limitless supply.

In order to be receptive to the abundance and prosperity energy here are some personal tips that I want to share with all of you 🙂

1. Cultivate Prosperity Thinking rather than Scarcity Thinking.

We understand what we constantly think and feel shapes our reality so just check for yourself what is your relationship with abundance and prosperity.

A scarcity thought may sounds like this: “There isn’t enough..(time, money, love, trust, etc)”, “I can’t afford that because…” , it is fear based and produces a feeling of anxiety, worry, stress, constriction and tightness. It does not feel good. You can recognize these thoughts by how you feel when they come up. DO a “gut check” and see what your thoughts are telling you.

An abundant thought may sound more like this: “There is always enough.”, “I trust that I am where I am meant to be at this very moment.”, “Money is a renewable resource.”, “I welcome infinite possibilities, I will receive.”, “I have enough.”, ” I am enough.”. These thoughts feel like “truth”, calming, a knowing that you are loved and taken care of, they feel easy and have a natural flow and allowing to them.

2. Gratitude, Gratitude Gratitude

Gratitude, Appreciation and Love are emotions that raise your vibrations instantly and if you understand energy once you are in a high vibration state you can attract more positive situations in life. Remember “We attract what we ARE and not what we WANT” so if you want to attract abundance you have to feel and think abundant and the emotion that represents abundance is Gratitude. I personally maintain a gratitude journal and always find ways to express it. You can find your own way of making it work to your advantage.

3. Tithing (Giving away a portion of your salary to people and organizations that support humanity)

Tithing is actually giving away a 10% of your salary /income to people who help you in your life. You can divide it among your parents (they gave you your body), Spiritual teachers/institutions they feed your soul growth, your Staff (they make your life easy so that you can focus on more meaningful work) and some for charitable organizations helping humanity.

Giving is a characteristic associated with someone with an abundance mindset, Universe is abundance so when you give away a part of your income the universe fills up this vacuum with more than you give away.

4. “What you want in Life Give more of it”

This is a golden rule I have imbibed since becoming a healer, when ever we need anything in our life be it happy relationships, love, money or health start giving it. The moment you give it , it is circulated and comes back to you with even more rigor. Energy is like blood it should keep flowing else it forms a sludge. Abundance, prosperity, health , happiness love are also energy the more you restrict their flow the more you feel depleted of and the more you share the more it circulates back to you.

5. Your Heart is a compass monitor your emotions as a guidance system for your connection to the universal mind of intention.

Strong emotions such as passion and bliss are indications that you’re connected to Spirit, or inspired , if you will. When you’re inspired, you activate dormant forces, and the abundance you seek in any form comes streaming into your life. When you’re experiencing low-energy emotions of rage, anger, hatred, anxiety, despair, and the like, that’s a clue that while your desires may be strong, they’re completely out of sync with the field of intention. Remind yourself in these moments that you want to feel good, and see if you can activate a thought that

6. “SELF Love” 

A person who has no love for self can never be able to love others, the actions will mostly be to be approved by others, so they will spend their life pleasing others in order to get love and appreciation. This attitude obstructs the abundance flow. Abundance is where happiness is and when we give the remote of our happiness to others it is only temporary. So love your self and spend your time in doing what you love the most.

7. Mantra of prosperity from India “Lakshmi Gayatri Mantra”

I wanted to write this blog on the occasion of Diwali a Hindu festival celebrated with lots of zeal and devotion among Indians this is a special festival also associated with Prosperity and abundance and worship of Goddess Lakshmi (The deity for prosperity and abundance) it is on the 23rd of October 2014.

You can play this Mantra in the morning everyday as a prayer to start your day in Abundance

Sargam Lakshmi Gayatri mantra for abundance

Here is the link to the audio of Lakshmi Gayatri Mantra

May Goddess Lakshmi shower you with Abundance in Life this Diwali ❤  – Lots of Love and Best Wishes Sargam ❤

Personal recommendation for people who want to heal their life and cultivate the Abundance consciousness to enrol for MCKS Kriyashakti program.

Jun17

Understanding Your Excess Weight and Letting it Go – Spiritual and Energetic Approach

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“Manifesting your perfect weight is a natural result of realigning with your true self ” – Marianne Williamson

Have been waiting so long to write on this topic 🙂 but it is never too late to pen it down even now. Weight management has been a dear topic for me for last 15 years. Something I have read, researched and experimented myself. We are all born a few pounds in weight and gradually as we grow we keep on putting many more pounds; till one day we realize the few pounds are visible spilling from our clothes. This revelation for some creates an alarm these people take control of their health while for the others we get depressed and start detesting ourselves.

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This blog is for the latter type , the depressed, over critical, lazy bums who start seeing food as the forbidden apple and still go ahead and sneak a slice of pizza or a chocolate and then beat themselves up. Food is highly emotional , when we are happy we feast when we are sad we binge. Food is an essential part of our lives and one of the ways to share love and affection. In Indian families mothers spend most of the the time cooking for the family pouring all their love in desserts and delicacies 🙂 So we cannot do much about food it will be around us tempting and enticing but yes some changes can be made and most of us have also adapted to healthy eating.

With my experience of 78 kgs (172 pounds) in 2007-2008 ; I realized even with a normal diet and moderate activity I  just gained around 8 kgs approx with ease and did not realize till I stepped on a weighing scale. For most of us weight gain just happens and it is so gradual that we are unable to notice till we get a critical compliment from our friends/colleagues or partners 😉

I am a certified Pranic Healer and lately I attended a course on Pranic Weightloss and Body Sculpting and was so surprised to learn that excess weight is nothing but energy , it is an energy that is stuck up due to our emotions. It has not much to do with exercise or dieting. Our bodies are completely neutral the way they behave is an effect rather than a cause. What has to be consumed, stored or expelled out of the body is the work of our mind.

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Let us understand this stuck up energy , we understand that our bodies metabolism and secretions of hormones are controlled through the brain activity , the brain works as a response to our thoughts. Thoughts are broadly divided into Fear based thoughts and Love based thoughts. The cause of excess fat in the body is fear which blocks out love.

I know you must be thinking most of the fat people look happier 🙂 but it is an external appearance put up these beautiful people mostly. When we do a session the emotions of under confidence,low self esteem and a habit of  constant negative self talk is observed. The fear based thoughts include, shame, insecurity and low self esteem. These thoughts have energy which is contracting and dark grey and this can be felt while scanning. These are really old thought forms that get stuck and refuse to move even with best of diet plan and exercise regime. So your fat is all the anger and hate you have directed to yourself and others.

The world renowned author Louis L. Hay in her book, You Can Heal Your Life, writes that the probable causes of excess weight are: Fear; need for protection; Running away from feelings; Insecurity, self-rejection, Seeking fulfillment, and others She goes on to say, “Fat is related to Over sensitivity. Often represents fear and shows a need for protection. Fear may be a cover for hidden anger and a resistance to forgive.”

According to Louise, fat in the arms can mean “anger at being denied love.”

Fat on the belly can mean “anger at being denied nourishment” and

Fat on the hips can be “lumps of stubborn anger at the parents”. Even fat on the thighs can be “packed childhood anger, often rage at the father.

Interesting isn’t it?  Most of us hold on to fat to mask our insecurities in relationships, work, life ahead etc etc. Our natural state is Love and love is detachment, love is letting go. The energy of love is moving , it is expansive. So whether it is relationships or food if we practice detachment we show love.Obsession for either a person or for any substance happens when we are ready to give and do not know how to receive. We keep holding for more because we do not feel we are getting back the desired response.

Here is a beautiful workshop conducted every year on 21 Days of Emotional Weightloss and Emotional Detox happens on http://www.sargammishra.com

Life is all about creating a love affair and if we do so with our food and bodies the response is amazing. Trust me your body needs your love and appreciation as much as other people in your life or even more. Here are few suggestions that you can include in your day to day life :

Tips for a Spiritual Weight Loss 🙂

1. Make some time to be with self – Take out 30 minutes in a day for yourself where you can just focus on your self this is your time of “self love”

2. ‘Mirror’ – Your best friend – I keep hearing my friends and family complaining that I am obsessed with mirrors; and I openly admit I am I deliberately made it a habit to smile and mentally say “I love you gorgeous”  when ever I see a mirror. Next time you catch me smiling just like that you will know what I am thinking. This helps in lifting your self esteem.

3. Project love to your body – Your body is the  temple of your soul no matter what it looks like it is sacred. Always remember you cannot do away with anything you are in resistance with. You will have to first accept yourself with whatever weight you are right now and then only you will be able to condition it to look its best. So mentally do an affirmation ” I approve of my self, I salute the divinity within me and I promise to maintain a healthy relationship with my body through my mind”

4.Bless anything that you put into your mouth – Food/Water any edible stuff just mentally bless it, as per Masaru Emoto’s experiment on water thoughts impact our reality so when we bless any negative energy that the food is cooked with or projected with is neutralized and is fortified with nourishment.

5. Surrender yourself to Source – When a fetus is 9 months in the womb of a mother there is a source that takes care of it , most of us are born healthy and normal. This is because nature is self correcting and providing.The minute the baby is born the parents take control and all hell breaks lose. We forget that we are all made in the image of god we are born to follow our bliss and encourage others to do the same. So whether it is your excess weight, it is your issues and problems just surrender them to source. Remember the emotional baggage will become the excess weight better to leave it to the God than carry it with you 😉

You can also visit a certified Pranic healer for Pranic Weight loss and Body Sculpting program. As I said I had my own journey with weight loss and self image here is a sneak peak :). We are not forever stuck with a fat, obese body the moment we choose to let go of our weight the transformation begins 🙂

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I will send a short visualization meditation to all the readers who will comment on this blog 🙂 – Much Love Sargam

 

Sharing a lovely meditation for weightloss with all of you

Crystals for Weightloss 

This pouch has 7 chosen crystals specially to aid Weightloss and emotional detox. This is curated specially for the 21 Days Spiritual Weight Loss and Emotional Detox Workshop participants.

The crystals are thoroughly cleansed and energized with personal programming by Sargam.

Along with the pouch you will receive a link to the instruction video from Sargam

crystal alchemy with sargam weightlossshedding the weight

May19

There is No Secret Ingredient :) – Self Love

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Sargam Self Love

The easiest way to practice spirituality in every day life is to love yourself. SELF LOVE is the new Prayer, a new Mantra , a new Meditation ”

When I was  in my 2nd grade that is the time I remember I used to have so much fun looking myself in the mirror I could just be standing and looking my self for hours, making different hair styles, looking at my smile and making lots of faces 🙂 I also loved crying in front of the mirror and would smile seeing how I looked so beautiful even when I cried 😉

I was my own personal favorite 🙂 and always treated myself special but somehow it was hard for my friends to understand this act of self love,  and they thought I was not humble. Gradually I learned that it was not good to tell people if you were good at anything upright as it was considered as being proud or boastful. I saw my parents rarely speaking about our accomplishments in front of us as they feared we would be flying on clouds of pride. Appreciation was rare and if some family/ friends complimented we would deflect the appreciation or shy away.

As I grew up I lost touch with the “self love” aspect and gradually it manifested as a self negating internal conversation of “I am not as good as xyz, her hair was better than mine, her grades are better, she sings better than me”. This constant negative self talk resulted in weight gain, dull complexion and poor self image. I started meeting people who reassured I am not so good and need to really work on my self physically and emotionally.

Even in my relationship I had tough time proving my worth 😦  but with time gradually I realized it was nothing to do with others but it was a reflection of my own thoughts and my own poor self image. In life we are all faced with tough situations testing times and if you instead of feeling victim of the external situations, you are able to look within and introspect you will understand how these people and situations are only a reflection . Thanks to my calling of Pranic Healing that helped me restore my faith in me 🙂 it made me believe I AM SPECIAL !!

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From Buddha to the Hollywood actor Johny Depp has spoken about how important it is to love your self. A person who cannot love himself or inflicts himself/herself of pain is responsible for inflicting pain to others. If you love yourself you will understand and appreciate the individuality of others ; you will be able to respect and appreciate others with an open heart.

We live our life thinking our selves to be average and keep looking for some secret ingredient to make us special without realizing that the secret ingredient was always with us 🙂

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Self Love helps us connect with our own self and trust me when I write this I write out of experience , the first time I stood in front of the mirror dropping all judgement about me and looked into my eyes there was so much I wanted to say to my self. There was so much love , so much acceptance I had deprived myself of. I had feared been alone by myself and I was just craving for someone else to love me, approve me, compliment me. After a couple of minutes there was this knowing that I was not just what I could see in the mirror I was so much more and it was a big revelation. I just silently promised I will again bring back that child in me. I am Special and I did not need an assurance or approval for thinking this.

I know most of us have been in situations where we do not have time for ourselves, we are too busy in caring and loving others waiting for them to love us but if we continue this for a long time we will become emotionally bankrupt. Self Love is the way to maintain your bank balance of love.

Some quick questions to check your Self Love Quotient

1. Can you take up compliments with gratitude without deflecting them? Yes

2. Do you feel people who speak about their accomplishments are boasting? No

3.Can you spend time with yourself alone? Yes

4.Is your conversation with self something negative (comparative/self hating/fault finding)?? No

5.Can you see your self in the mirror and smile n feel happy or you feel sad? Yes

 

If your answers are opposite to what are written then you need to work on your Self Love quotient 🙂

Tips to Cultivate Self Love

1. Pay Gratitude (maintain a gratitude journal for the little things you like about yourself)

2. Smile whenever you see the mirror n give a mental compliment

3.Go out alone and treat yourself

4.Pursue a passion

5. Develop a positive self talk habit

In the world where we teach humility and encourage to keep our happiness on least priority ; Self Love is the only savior – Love Sargam

self-loving teal

 

 

May4

Escaping ME by Seeing YOU – I cannot escape myself

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“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” — Rumi

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Being born under the sun sign Pisces I love to escape from people and situations that are stressful into my own safe zone. This is an area I am constantly working with full awareness as even if I escape for a week or two or even for months once I am back I see more reasons to escape again 🙂

Most of us feel the same way even while counselling sessions I have discovered the problems are usually a blame on the external situations and people in our life. But in truth it is an escape from self , we are constantly running from situations and people which reflect our own inner self and as we constantly keep trying to change things outside and fail we are not able to change the situations/circumstances in our life.

In our close relationships we see the same situation, if a partner has a poor self image he/she will want others to help improve his/her self image. This leads to situations where he will want constant attention, respect and love and if the due attention is not given it will lead to rejection, sorrow and regret. The problem is most of us do not love our self and expect others to take charge of our happiness the truth is that all of us our struggling with our own self .

The escape from others is in truth an escape from self the other person is just a mirror he/she has nothing to do with their love/care/affection towards us they merely reflect our own feelings.

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There is nothing that can upset you except yourself, No one can give you anything that you do not take. Mostly it is your own nature that you cannot handle and you expect others to take care of which may not always be possible and you will end up feeling rejected.

Most of us need to cultivate love, compassion,faith and a deep respect for our own inner being once this relationship with self is established everything outside will change. As I sit writing this article I feel so much at ease to know I need to go nowhere to make a change to my life ; these are my own inner veils that need to fall to let go of my own fears.

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Here is a beautiful song by Jessica Simpson  I belong to Me 🙂

 

Mar18

Be LOVE To Attract LOVE

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“The minute I heard my first love story,I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.They’re in each other all along.” 
― Rumi, The Illuminated Rumi

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Relationships are getting challenging in recent times, there is a constant struggle between partners as to who is the BOSS 🙂 With women taking up power positions and men losing the role  as providers in a family there are obvious insecurities in relationships. A midst all this people still want to have loving and nurturing relationships as love is the food we all crave for.

Two people can be in a relationship only if they are a vibrational match to each other. You attract people into your life who mirror what you give. In other words, what you vibrate, is what comes back to you – and there is no vibration higher than LOVE.

Love Affirmations

What ever we want in love it can only come to you if you start giving it without conditions. Most of the people want their relationships to run one way. So we find either of the couple only giving or only receiving and then the relationships reaches a crisis where the one who is only giving has no more left to give and the other who is receiving can no more receive.

Also a very salient feature in love is “YOU CANNOT GIVE WHAT YOU DO NOT HAVE” it also applies materialistically 🙂 So the number one thing is to keep your love tank full by first loving yourself and accept yourself unconditionally. No one in the world can make you feel worthy if you yourself reject yourself.

Love IS or it IS’NT there is nothing like I loved you a year back, but not now …. if it is so the case then it was never LOVE 🙂

Most of the us hurt ourselves time and again to gain love and empathy or to test our loved ones and finally,  get hurt as the response is not what we expect. We have a hard time accepting ourselves and we continue tp tax our partners for not filling the gap.

Change is inevitable but no one can change the other person, LOVE IS ABOUT ACCEPTANCE OF GOOD BAD and UGLY and being non judgmental. Security in love is when there is no I or YOU it is WE, the insecurity is only when there is EGO.

“Be Love in all ways, show love for yourself , respect yourself , practice self freedom, practice self trust and sincerity for your own self and then only then you can be LOVE”

It’s a story of hope. For twenty years, The 5 Love Languages has been improving marriages… one language at a time

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