Tag Archives: Sargam Mishra Quotes

Feb11

Mindful Relationships – Love In the Present

Posted on February 11, 2015 by Sargam Mishra

There are many couples who resent about how they had thought their partner would transform post marriage/ committed relationships.Some expect a formal husband and wife relationship after being friends for years..others fantasize their partners to change their lifestyle (e.g. quit smoking, lose weight, curtail being with friends)..but most of the times the outcome of such illusions is resentments. When we expect people to change or put conditions in any relationship we are not in Love with their authentic self but in love with our own expectations.
When you Love someone , Love them for who they are not for what they can be. Life is all about “Loving in the PRESENT”

Feb5

Letting Go and Let In God

Posted on February 5, 2015 by Sargam Mishra

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“Letting Go and Let In God”

We think that holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to let go. When you Let Go of people, situations, anger, resentment from your life you create a space for new.This does not come easy most of us give up on allowing new beginnings in life as there is a lot of doubt and fear of unknown. So we keep hanging on to old beliefs ,people and situations.

This is where we need to connect with the supreme “GOD”.When we surrender ourselves to God we can allow a bigger and stronger force to take care of us. We have a limited perception of life but HE can see beyond our fears. Today let us do the meditation with total surrender, just drop all the problems of your life and believe with your whole heart that someone much more powerful and stronger will take care of you.

“Allow the caterpillar within you to experience the magnificence of the butterfly.”

Exercise: before the meditation settle yourself and close your eyes. Now repeat silently “I Let Go and Let In God” till the anxiety within you is eased.Start with the Soul Affirmation and follow with the meditation.

Lots of love
Sargam

Nov2

PAIN a Symptom or A Cause??

Posted on November 2, 2014 by Sargam Mishra

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This article is an outcome from a latest conversation within my fellow healers. With every article my own understanding of a subject become deeper , I hope you will like and benefit from it too.

Pain is associated with suffering either physical or emotional and as A healer and practitioner of alternative healing techniques this is the most common word I keep hearing from patients. I am in PAIN, I fell down got hurt or I have so and so disease and I am in PAIN, or I was emotionally hurt and I am in PAIN. So we see PAIN can be either physical or emotional :). In this article we explore Are Both These PAIN Different ?? Is Physical Pain a Symptom of an Emotional Pain??

In this article I will follow the course of the conversation that we were having and then delve deeper into the spiritual understanding of Pain at a deeper level along with How we can use this PAIN to our benefit. 🙂

The picture below is a Chinese phrase famous in medicine ,meaning, “If there is free flow, then there is no pain; if there is pain, then there is no free flow” (Tong zhi bu tong; bu tong zhi tong). Interestingly this phrase has a far deeper meaning 🙂 we will explore.

Tong zhi bu tong; bu tong zhi tong – Chinese Saying

Normal physiology says that Qi, or energy, flows through the Meridians the way that blood flows through blood vessels, and these Meridians traverse the entire body to allow Qi to nourish, warm, and activate the various body muscles, tissues, and organs. When that flow is impeded in some way, Qi and blood stagnate in the Meridian, and the body experiences pain along that Meridian – either locally or farther down the stream. This is way bruises are painful; they are essentially stuck blood (and Qi).

What causes stagnation in the Meridians? For most pain cases it’s trauma or injury, and this could include things like surgery or overuse. Cold can also cause stagnation. Think of a creek freezing solid in the winter. That’s why we typically don’t recommend icing a strained muscle. Things like stress and emotional constraint also contribute to pain, so have a glass of wine and relax once in a while!

Interestingly in the school of energy we understand that we have an etheric body or a the energy double that is also called Aura or bio plasmic field of our body. This body has one to one mapping to our physical body and it has its own energy meridians controlled by energy centers called Chakras. These energy channels or Chakras help distribute prana throughout the energy body and into our physical body. If the meridians in the energy body are clean then the physical body follows the same.

The energy body is fed by our thoughts and emotions and hence every physical ailment is related to our emotional wellbeing. There’s no denying that our emotional pains are felt in physical discomfort.Our bodies respond to the pain of our hearts and racing mind. We carry the stress of our lives, literally, on our backs. We get tension when we’re going through stress and have trouble breathing in times of despair and heartache.

“Emotions and experiences are essentially energy and they can be stored in the cellular memory of our bodies.”

The Chart above illustrates the emotions that can cause Pain in the Physical body

Interestingly most of the times we see PAIN as a Symptom of a physical ailments like, gall stone pain, angina pain, migraine,joint pain , Sciatica and many more 🙂

What Are the Symptoms of Pain?

The symptoms of chronic pain include:

Mild to severe pain that does not go away
Pain that may be described as shooting, burning, aching, or electrical
Feeling of discomfort, soreness, tightness, or stiffness

Pain is not a symptom that exists alone. Other problems associated with pain can include:

Fatigue
Sleeplessness
Withdrawal from activity and increased need to rest
Weakened immune system
Changes in mood including hopelessness, fear, depression, irritability, anxiety, and stress
Disability

The Emotional Pain and our PAIN BODY

This is only the physical part to pain however being emotional beings we are greatly affected by emotional disturbances within and around us.The feeling and experience of Pain (emotional /physical) is something that is there with us since our birth. Past experiences of painful events reside within us. The accumulation of painful life experience that was not fully faced and accepted in the moment it surfaces and leaves behind an energy form of emotional pain. It comes together with other energy forms from other instances, and so after some years you have a “painbody,” an energy entity consisting of old emotional patterns.

This negative emotional body is part of us and when it gets a trigger during times of rejection, break ups, cheating, abandonment,this pain body feels an amplified by the emotion and at times we behave under the influence of this living entity.At that moment, when it does take over your mind, the internal dialogue, which is dysfunctional at the best of times, now becomes the voice of the painbody talking to you internally. Everything it says is deeply colored by the old, painful emotion of the painbody. Every interpretation, everything it says, every judgment about your life, about other people, about a situation you are in, will be totally distorted by the old emotional pain.

If you are not there as the space for it, you are identified with the painbody and you believe every negative thought that it is telling you. If you are alone, the painbody will feed on every negative thought that arises, and get more energy. That’s why it’s become active — after it does that for a while, you can’t stop thinking, at night, or whenever it is. The painbody is feeding, and after a few hours, it’s had enough. You feel a little depleted. And then it happens again a few weeks later, or few days later.

The painbody loves to feed on actions and reactions and drama is one of the favorite food for it. 🙂 The cornerstone of emotional toxicity is the Pain Body, which prevents you from experiencing peace and connection at an emotional and spiritual level as well as vitality and health at a physical and cellular level. Intersting Pain in this context become the CAUSE.

The Pain Body can be seen as its own energy field within the Cellular Memory whose prime directive is the accumulation and generation of pain in your life. Whether disease, dysfunction, imbalance or lack of peace occurs at any level, you can be sure that the Pain Body is playing a very active role in feeding its existence. Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now, calls the cumulative layers of negative emotions the “Pain-Body” and refers to it as an entity. He says:

“There are two levels of pain: the pain that you create now, and the pain of the past that still lives on in your mind and body. This of course includes the pain that you suffer as a child, caused by the unconsciousness of the world into which you were born. The accumulated pain is a negative energy field that occupies your body and mind. If you look at it as an invisible entity in its own right, you are getting quite close to the truth – It’s the emotional Pain-Body.”

The cells in which past physical or emotional trauma is stored, operate in a survival pattern based on something that is no longer real or current for anyone but the person maintaining the pattern. When an unresolved issue or trauma impedes the flow of energy in the body-mind system, stagnation is created in a particular part of the body, often the organ, joint or muscle most associated with the trauma. We know further that areas of stagnant energy contain negative e-motional charge, dirty energy or diseased energy. A simple example: You hurt your ankle while running because you are late to your office. You feel very upset for that. You get angry at yourself for not paying more attention when walking and you may blame yourself by saying things like, “Stupid, you never pay enough attention!” “You are going to be late and your boss will be upset with you”. By now, your body is not only feeling the physical trauma in the form of real pain, but you are adding self-condemnation, anger, guilt, fear and unforgiveness. This process may go on and on.

I have been reading and understanding PAIN through my patients and also through my personal experiences but in the end the realization is that whether PAIN is a CAUSE or a SYMPTOM it does not arise from outside; instead it highlights our own internal weaknesses. There is a famous proverb “NO PAIN , NO GAIN” which I used to always consider in a literal way but today it makes more sense as Pain is actually an instrument for the Soul which if used with awareness and mindfulness can be used for soul mastery.

An excerpt from the lecture from the great Theosophist Annie Besant (From the book PAIN and meaning and use)

“And another use of pain, a more inner lesson now: for we have reached the point where the Soul has distinguished himself from the body of desire and even from the mind itself. And still he has not got outside the reach of pain, for he has not yet quite found his centre, he is only seeking it still; and although he knows that he is not the body, nor the sense?, nor the mind, he still finds himself susceptible of pain that comes from within, of contacts that translate themselves as pain. And coming into contact with others —-with the thoughts and the feelings and the judgment of others—’he constantly finds himself pained by mis-judgments and mistranslations, by unkind thoughts and unkind feelings; and if the Soul has by this time gained wisdom, as he must have done if he has followed the path along which we have been tracing him, then he will begin to ask himself: Why do I still feel pain? What is there, not in the outside, but in me that gives rise to pain? For he has now passed beyond the ignorance which makes this outer thing appear as the inflicter of pain, and he relates to himself the element that causes pain, and realizes that nothing can touch him save himself, which is in truth responsible for all.

So in Truth Pain whether it is a Cause or a Symptom has its own significance in our life either we can heal our self on a superficial level of the pain or we can deep dive and use it for our eternal spiritual growth.

HOW to Benefit from PAIN 🙂

1.Physical Pain is the manifestation of an emotional cause: It is always wise to introspect on the emotional cause for the physical pain instead of working on the symptom understand the emotional cause and work on it.

2.Understand your Pain Body: When in situation of negative self talk, mulling, anger and resentment just detach from the emotion and try to check if you are looking for more drama to fuel the pain body. If Yes then this is a danger ,alarm for introspection.

3. Meditation /Mindfulness: When the pain body engulfs you or you understand it is trying to take over it is best to go a step back and try to see the situation with awareness. The Pain created by your pain body , the drama expected by it to feed itself . Learn a meditation technique or simply sit quietly and revisit the situation in awareness understanding the side effects or the outcome of feeding the pain body.

4.Cut Cords: Cutting cord with people and situations that trigger your pain body is very useful as it stops the emotional drain from one to the other

5.Shadow Work: Use situations of Pain as an Opportunity for Improvement: It is hard to hear but learning through Pain is much more faster and hence Pain can be used for understanding our inner weakness to increase our tolerance, to learn forgiveness and to grow emotionally.

A useful point to remember is that pain is a protective factor. It warns of danger. It makes one aware of the need to remove a pain-producing potential, such as flame, or scalding water. If it were not for pain, the commonplace dangers of daily life could do irreparable harm to the physical body before the owner was aware of what was happening. And it is this beneficent work of pain that makes one aware of disease in the organism, and so leads to a cure being effected before it is too late.

Pain appears to be basically the result of lack of harmony in some area of man’s total make-up. It could be disharmony between

1. the soul and its vehicles (or between the form and the indwelling Life),
2. different elements of the personality equipment, e.g. mind in conflict with emotions,
3. the components of the physical body—maladjustment in organs or cells: blockages in the flow of the life-giving blood.

So instead of complaining about Pain try to listen what the Pain is telling you.

Lots of Love Sargam

Oct7

Abundance is Your State of Being – 7 Steps to Tune into Abundance

Posted on October 7, 2014 by Sargam Mishra

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” Abundance is not Something we Acquire. It is Something We Tune into” – Wayne W Dyer

Most of us lead our life evaluating whether we deserve to be happy, prosperous and successful in life. Most of us start to evaluate our deserving coefficient in childhood when we are told we have to struggle and work really hard or have to be super talented to be abundant in our life. So if we need an expensive toy or a new dress we are just shunned saying money is something which does not grow on trees but is earned in a hard way. ……………………………………And here starts our hard journey with abundance 🙂

Every thing around us is energy and once you understand energy and how it affects our health and relationships in the same way it also affects abundance in our life. Abundance is a type of energy and therefore it follows the principles of energy such as attraction and repulsion.To achieve a higher degree of prosperity and abundance therefore, there should be enough prosperity energy in you.

We attract what we are in thoughts , word and actions 🙂 so if you think earning money is not easy it will never be easy for you as energy follows thoughts. Abundance is our natural state, and the entire physical universe with all its abundance is the offspring of an unbounded, limitless field of all possibilities. The only person who can limit the possibilities for your abundant life is you and no one else.

If we want to learn and understand the secret of abundance lets just look at the most abundant entity on our planet ; Nature it has not limit itself to few it has abundance of air , water and earth for each one of us and is a constant supply. Nature does not hold back its resources in fear or exhausting them but is generous to give and share with all beings without discrimination. “The Universe is Abundance” and the more we share and give generously it provides us with more as it is a limitless supply.

In order to be receptive to the abundance and prosperity energy here are some personal tips that I want to share with all of you 🙂

1. Cultivate Prosperity Thinking rather than Scarcity Thinking.

We understand what we constantly think and feel shapes our reality so just check for yourself what is your relationship with abundance and prosperity.

A scarcity thought may sounds like this: “There isn’t enough..(time, money, love, trust, etc)”, “I can’t afford that because…” , it is fear based and produces a feeling of anxiety, worry, stress, constriction and tightness. It does not feel good. You can recognize these thoughts by how you feel when they come up. DO a “gut check” and see what your thoughts are telling you.

An abundant thought may sound more like this: “There is always enough.”, “I trust that I am where I am meant to be at this very moment.”, “Money is a renewable resource.”, “I welcome infinite possibilities, I will receive.”, “I have enough.”, ” I am enough.”. These thoughts feel like “truth”, calming, a knowing that you are loved and taken care of, they feel easy and have a natural flow and allowing to them.

2. Gratitude, Gratitude Gratitude

Gratitude, Appreciation and Love are emotions that raise your vibrations instantly and if you understand energy once you are in a high vibration state you can attract more positive situations in life. Remember “We attract what we ARE and not what we WANT” so if you want to attract abundance you have to feel and think abundant and the emotion that represents abundance is Gratitude. I personally maintain a gratitude journal and always find ways to express it. You can find your own way of making it work to your advantage.

3. Tithing (Giving away a portion of your salary to people and organizations that support humanity)

Tithing is actually giving away a 10% of your salary /income to people who help you in your life. You can divide it among your parents (they gave you your body), Spiritual teachers/institutions they feed your soul growth, your Staff (they make your life easy so that you can focus on more meaningful work) and some for charitable organizations helping humanity.

Giving is a characteristic associated with someone with an abundance mindset, Universe is abundance so when you give away a part of your income the universe fills up this vacuum with more than you give away.

4. “What you want in Life Give more of it”

This is a golden rule I have imbibed since becoming a healer, when ever we need anything in our life be it happy relationships, love, money or health start giving it. The moment you give it , it is circulated and comes back to you with even more rigor. Energy is like blood it should keep flowing else it forms a sludge. Abundance, prosperity, health , happiness love are also energy the more you restrict their flow the more you feel depleted of and the more you share the more it circulates back to you.

5. Your Heart is a compass monitor your emotions as a guidance system for your connection to the universal mind of intention.

Strong emotions such as passion and bliss are indications that you’re connected to Spirit, or inspired , if you will. When you’re inspired, you activate dormant forces, and the abundance you seek in any form comes streaming into your life. When you’re experiencing low-energy emotions of rage, anger, hatred, anxiety, despair, and the like, that’s a clue that while your desires may be strong, they’re completely out of sync with the field of intention. Remind yourself in these moments that you want to feel good, and see if you can activate a thought that

6. “SELF Love”

A person who has no love for self can never be able to love others, the actions will mostly be to be approved by others, so they will spend their life pleasing others in order to get love and appreciation. This attitude obstructs the abundance flow. Abundance is where happiness is and when we give the remote of our happiness to others it is only temporary. So love your self and spend your time in doing what you love the most.

7. Mantra of prosperity from India “Lakshmi Gayatri Mantra”

I wanted to write this blog on the occasion of Diwali a Hindu festival celebrated with lots of zeal and devotion among Indians this is a special festival also associated with Prosperity and abundance and worship of Goddess Lakshmi (The deity for prosperity and abundance) it is on the 23rd of October 2014.

You can play this Mantra in the morning everyday as a prayer to start your day in Abundance

Here is the link to the audio of Lakshmi Gayatri Mantra

May Goddess Lakshmi shower you with Abundance in Life this Diwali ❤ – Lots of Love and Best Wishes Sargam ❤

Personal recommendation for people who want to heal their life and cultivate the Abundance consciousness to enrol for MCKS Kriyashakti program.

Sep9

Desire THE Way To Enlightenment in 201X

Posted on September 9, 2014 by Sargam Mishra

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Free from desire, you realize the mystery.
Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.
―Lao Tzu (Taoism)

Desire has been an interesting topic among spiritual enthusiast. As stated in the quote above most of the school of thoughts teach us to be free of all our desires to attain moksha. I have always been wondering why try so hard to not desire when it is easy to experience and let go. Let us try to understand what is Desire? The deeply ingrained tendencies of attachments and desire are often referred to by the English translation “earthly desires.” However, since they also include hatred, arrogance, distrust and fear, the translation “deluded impulses” may in some cases be more appropriate.

But can such desires and attachments really be eliminated? Attachments are, after all, natural human feelings, and desires are a vital and necessary aspect of life. The desire, for example, to protect oneself and one’s loved ones has been the inspiration for a wide range of advances–from the creation of supportive social groupings to the development of housing and heating. Likewise, the desire to understand humanity’s place in the cosmos has driven the development of philosophy, literature and religious thought. Desires are integral to who we are and who we seek to become.

In this sense, the elimination of all desire is neither possible nor, in fact, desirable. Were we to completely rid ourselves of desire, we would end up undermining our individual and collective will to live. Many of the spiritual gurus and holy texts emphasize on being completely free of desire to attain enlightenment , but if we were to think even the desire to not desire is also a desire 🙂

Desire is also a means of creation so if we were to understand, for e.g. when we give birth to a desire then we are introducing new possibilities of creation in the universe. The suffering is not from the desires but from the fact whether we will be able to fulfill the desires. When we start seeing our self incapable and non deserving of achieving our desires we suffer.

In other words, desire is not the cause of suffering; it is the opposite of suffering. Desire is what feels good. The truth is, desire is good. Desire is what keeps us going in life. It’s not getting stuff that makes us happy, it’s wanting stuff, hoping for stuff, dreaming of stuff – stuff like love, success, adventure, or meaning. Desire itself is the payoff!

Sure, sometimes we’re frustrated. Sometimes we get what we want, only to find out that it’s not as great as we thought. But to try to eliminate the central feature of a good human life just because of these stumbling blocks is to throw the baby out with the bathwater. These stumbling blocks are a necessary cost of leading a good human life.

I had this interesting conversation with a friend who just shared a perspective on desire, the happiness associated with the fulfillment of desire is temporary it goes away once a desire is fulfilled but what is even more long lasting is the happiness of having one less desire from the laundry list of desires we have…when we evolve spiritually the desires also under go transformation , so they are no longer deluded impulses but they become more service oriented, they are more towards larger good and oneness.Desires and attachments are then seen as fueling the quest for enlightenment.

The whole idea is to desire from a state of being complete, there is nothing in this universe that we do not deserve, whether it is health, happiness, abundance or even moksha, nirvana all that is ever there and all that will ever be is owned by each one of us it is just our own inhibitions and lack in self that keeps us away from it.

When you know that you lack nothing, that all there is, is you and yours, desire ceases.

―Nisargadatta Maharaj

Hindus talk about Atman, or your true Self, and say that “you are that”. Buddhists talk about suchness, or tathagata, and say that the nature of mind has no self. On the face of it they are saying the exact opposite, and yet it’s also been said that they are saying the exact same thing. It takes a lot of meditation and study to know why they are saying the same thing. Every thought movement you have is you. It is Buddha mind. When taught to meditate, you are taught to not push away thoughts – if you have a desire, don’t stop it – don’t push it away – just notice it. Anything that we resist is persists so whether it is our thoughts while meditation or our desires , if we will resist it they will occur again and again. You start by dis-identifying with it. By noticing it, it is no longer you. But later your awareness becomes more encompassing and it makes just as much sense to say that everything that occurs is you.

So once you understand that whatever you desire is there for you ; life is all about what is worth the desire 🙂 . You just need to be mindful in keeping your desires out to the universe as they will be fulfilled …. ‘The Secret’ ‘Law of Attraction’ ‘Synchronicity’ all are tools . You are a luminous light being and a master manifestor when you open your heart to your highest good there is nothing that will not show up in your reality.

“When you really desire something, All the Universe conspires to achieve it for YOU” – Paulo Coelho

So if you are skeptical about the Paulo Coelho Quote read the abridged version, the secret lies in being in alignment with your soul /higher self/ buddha nature.

*The views expressed are totally an individual’s perspective with due respect to all gurus and religions.

The Third most influential Teacher in the world Dr Wayne Dyer in Wishes Fulfilled

credits:http://www.sgi.org/buddhism/buddhist-concepts/desires.html

Why the Buddha was wrong. Desire is not the origin of suffering.

Sep4

Learning the Language of Love – Secret to Mutual Happy Relationships

Posted on September 4, 2014 by Sargam Mishra

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Sargam Quotes Love Language

I am sure we all have asked questions in our relationship about ‘Why is my relationship not working the way it used to be’ at some point in our life. I have heard words in sessions like “Our love is gone, there is no spark in our relationship. We used to feel close, but I think he doesn’t love me any more. Is he seeing someone else, we do not enjoy being with each other. etc etc. If they seem familiar to you probably you are struggling in speaking the right emotional Love Language of your partner. As Gary Chapman explains in his best selling book ‘No matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse understands only Chinese,you will never understand how to show love to each other.’ At the heart of human existence there is a deep desire to be intimate and to be loved.Marriage is designed to meet that need for intimacy and love.

We all need love to feel good; each of us has an emotional love tank and it is important to keep it full for a healthy relationship. Having healthy arguments, disagreements and view points are perfectly alright now and then.

“Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys.”

― Nicholas Sparks, Safe Haven

When we are ‘In Love’ we have these amazing chemical releases within our bodies so initially our partner appears to be the perfect soul mate we could ever have but gradually we get immune to these chemical activity and start to descend from the clouds of imaginations and plant our feet on earth to experience the reality. We can then recognize the irritating personality traits of our partner, where hairs are always in the sink and little white spots on the mirror, where arguments center around whether the toilet door should be closed or the lid should be up or down. In this real world, a look can hurt and a word can crush. Intimate lovers can become enemies and marriage a battlefield.

All this is a normal life of a couple; most of the time we have two options

1. We are destined to a life of misery with our spouse (or may be just fool around outside)

2. We must jump ship and try again( Re marriage)

Or there is a better way: Just reorganize the love experience 🙂 I know when we do not have any love around having to reorganize the love experience does not make sense. Lets understand it, if someone is extremely hungry he/she will want to eat but if he/she is all full even if you bring in the best of dishes he will say no. Same thing is with love if a person’s love tank is full , he will feel secure, the whole world looks bright and will want to focus on more meaningful things in life.

Here is an example of a couple:

I tell Selena I love her at least a few times each day – but the phrase has very little bearing on whether or not she feels loved. I can say it, text it, email it, and write it in the clouds but if my actions don’t show her I love her the words quickly lose their meaning – they’re merely a quick breath of air formed into three syllables of consonants and vowels.

I also show Selena I love her by kissing her. But kisses I give to her don’t mean as much as her kisses given to me. Why? Because we speak different love languages… Selena feels most loved when we spend good amounts of quality time together with good conversation. Nothing fills her love-bucket like a devoted day together – free from distraction and diversion. If I give her a kiss or tell her I love her after a day together, she knows it and she feels it.

I’m learning that speaking her language, her love language, actually involves very little speaking at all. Saying “I love you” with words is much more meaningful when it’s reinforced by action.

I believe it’s our duty as husbands (and wives) to learn how to best communicate love to our spouses. Once learned, it then becomes our glad obligation to speak their language regularly.

Let us see what these Love Languages are:

Dr. Gary Chapman has identified 5 Major Love Languages:

1. Words of Affirmations – Verbal Compliments, or word of appreciation are powerful communicators of love.

2. Acts of Service – For these people actions speak louder than words, doing the dishes, helping in with kids/home are their way of accepting love

3. Receiving Gifts – For some people what makes them feel most loved is to receive gifts

4. Quality Time – For these people it is about spending good quality time with their partner, no more phone calls, private vacation, a nice long drive or just a hearty talk

5. Physical Touch – A nice hug, a pat on the shoulder, a kiss or just holding hands these people want to feel the love in the touch.

I know you must be wondering that we all love may be to have all 5 of them but there is a primary love language and we should try to learn master it for both ourselves and for our spouse.

Here is how you can start to know what is your primary love language there is a short quiz:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Here is a step by step approach to start your Love Language journey 🙂

Step 1. Find out what is your Primary Love Language and also what is your partner’s

Step 2. Sit together when you are in each other’s happy company and try to learn more about it.

Step 3. Explore what works for both of you

Step 4. Learn to keep the Love Tank Full in your relationship by avoiding gestures (refer table below to start)

Step 5. Forgive and let go of the past and See your marriage and your partner in a brighter light

Disclaimer :All the above steps work only if you can love your self first. Refer my blog on Self Love. Remember a beggar can never give so first fill up your love tank with self love and then work on your relationship.

https://sargammishra.wordpress.com/2014/05/19/there-is-no-secret-ingredient-self-love/

Understand every relationship can become beautiful , it just needs an emotional commitment and YOU can be the trigger.

You can also read “The 5 Love Languages” – By Dr. Gary Chapman and try experimenting. I am also adding few videos for you all. Have a wonderful relationship. – Love Sargam

Aug31

Come Lets Return To Love

Posted on August 31, 2014 by Sargam Mishra

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“Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.”

– The Prophet Kahlil Gibran

Love is the most amazing human emotion and the most misinterpreted one as well . After a decade of falling in love and being married and hearing and sorting out marriages and love stories of friends my idea of love has evolved too. I feel , possessiveness, sacrificing, worrying, over protectiveness, and expecting others to change is not love. As parents taking decision on kids behalf in the name of “I care and I know your good better” is not love. Deciding a child’s career or the right partner or even friends and not allowing the child to try his own will is not love. Forcing a child to compete , whether it is by saying see your friend eats much faster than you or he gets better grades is definitely not love.

Every time someone does anything for us we label it as LOVE and when people do not fit in that label anymore we say they do not LOVE us. So What is actually LOVE? A new born child is a perfect example of what LOVE is ;it is just being the authentic self, no conditions attached. Whether he/she cries, gets cranky or has forced you into sleepless nights. The only thing you can do about it is enjoy its BEING , you still feed it, change its nappy and try to put it to sleep.And a smile on the toddler just makes your heart GROW. As parents most of our preconceived notions of love change so the equation of give and take just changes. We do not seek to change our baby but rather start appreciating the blessing the beauty it already is.

When I speak to couples going through relationship issues during counselling sessions the whole conversation revolves around ‘I thought he/she would change and adjust as per my needs, as per my family needs, she will sacrifice, compromise… Oh I married just because I thought he/she will grow up, be more responsible, work on her self’ etc etc etc….. there is a list of HOW I WISH ….. and that is the end of the relationship 🙂

During healing sessions projecting lots of love and affection towards the patient makes healing quicker. Sometimes I hear comments like no one has cared for me the way you do and I find it really sad to see that love is rare and may want to label through a relationship/friendship etc. There are no different kinds of LOVE believe me there is nothing like a child’s love, a mother’s love, god’s love , healer’s love .. 😛 LOVE is just LOVE. We just experience the depth of love being in all different roles .Love is tenderness of mother’s care, love is boyfriend’s hug, love is when a father hold her child’s hand while crossing the road, love is in mom’s food, friend’s care, silence after a kiss 🙂

If you are unable to find a deep intimate relationship in your life the reason is not because you are unable to find LOVE but your own distorted understanding of Love. Love is about the intimacy two individuals share from a space of total comfort. Where you allow the person to see through you; you do not force the person to see you the way you project but much more deep. So the elementary knowledge of love that we see in movies, in fairy tales does not work in real life real intimate love is more like a Ph D 😉

Love is not about idealizing the projected image of a partner or our own opinion and picture of them instead it is about going deep and exploring the real person he/she is and expressing appreciation and gratitude for this being. There is no person on this planet who is not worthy of love as we all are made in that essence.

As Marianne Williamson says” It is’nt the absence of people in our life that causes pain, but rather what we do with them when they’re there.”

So when we get a loving girlfriend , we forget our parents, when we get a beautiful wife we forget our friends , when we get women to have fun outside marriage we forget our wife……….so in reality we are never able to nourish any relationship and in the end we are ALONE.

You know why a search for love is endless?? As the love we seek is always there within us. So the day you have understood love, love will find you no matter where you are. Love can be beautifully understood from nature.

“And still, after all this time, the Sun has never said to the Earth, “You owe me.” Look what happens with love like that. It lights up the sky. – Rumi (Hafiz)

Great romantic relationships are based on intimacy and appreciation and by helping them access their highest . The fairy tale called “The Frog Prince” reveals a deep psychological connection between our attitudes towards people and their capacity for transformation. In the story, a princess kisses a frog and he becomes a prince. What this signifies is the miraculous power of love to create a context in which people naturally blossom into their highest potential. Neither nagging to get people to change, criticizing or fixing can do that.

You can only understand people in life if you can love them. “What is not Loved is not Understood” We hold our self separate and wait people to earn our love. But people deserve our love for what they were created to be and that is their Authentic Self. As long as we wait for them to be anything better, we will constantly be disappointed.

When we choose to approve and give pure love to people , the miracle kicks both ways – This is the key – Love Sargam

When I See YOUR FACE IS NOT A THING I WILL CHANGE BECAUSE GIRL YOU ARE AMAZING JUST THE WAY YOU ARE – Bruno Mars

Jul21

‘LOVE IS For Giving’ – ‘FORGIVENESS’ IN 5 STEPS

Posted on July 21, 2014 by Sargam Mishra

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‘LOVE IS For Giving’ – ‘FORGIVENESS’ IN 5 STEPS

Psychosomatic illnesses and other disease are a result of holding a lot of pent up emotions within us. Most of us carry a lot of baggage from our past the hurt from relationships and emotional turmoil caused by others can still be felt as thorns in the heart. Some of us nurture these thoughts and emotions so as to keep the fire burning by holding on these memories and then feeling the pain in times of solitude.

Love Is Forgiving

We all love to be with people who are LOVING right? We want to fall in love with people who can reciprocate love. Our basic nature is LOVE when I say ours it includes each one of us. Each one of us craves to LOve and to LOVED any deviations from this state of being causes sadness/fear/anger. Let us understand if our state of being is Love then why do we have so much problems around? If we try to understand from other’s perspective then we realize that a person who is not in this state of being (Love) only can hurt others.

It is like this when we juice an orange what come out is an orange juice it cannot be bitter gourd juice right so a person who is dwindling in lower emotions only is capable of venting/transferring these bitter sour emotions on to others.

Energetic Cords

When we love a person or hate a person we are emotionally chained or binded 🙂 Yeah try it for yourself. When you love someone you can feel if the person is happy or sad as there is an energetic cord that is created between the two of you same applies with people you despise.

Now the person who is at the receiving end has two options either to understand this simple juicing comparison and let go… or hold a grudge and bind himself energetically with similar emotions and keep exchanging that bitter gourd juice forever … As the person whom you are connected with is full of those emotions.

When we choose not to let go, energetically all of the pent up negative thoughts and emotions especially anger and resentment get stuck in the back solar plexus chakra and affect the body, the chakras, meridians and cells, potentially causing a variety of physical and psychological ailments. In the recent past there has been an rapid increase in the mind-body medical research and studies that correlate negative emotions to health ailments like high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease and back pain.

Many a times when we find these cords during the healing practice and discuss with the patient, we can see a resistance in letting go. These bonds of anger and resentments have been so strengthened with regular reflection on the bitter memories that it tends to become a part of them. It is like the thorn in foot people become so use to walking with it that it has pierced into deeper layers. Anger resentments and negative emotions are like rotten potatoes that you carry with you always where ever you go and you spread the fowl smell. 😛

I hope this blog will help you release resistance in forgiving ; forgiveness does not depend on the other person qualifying for your forgiveness instead it is about you being free of the emotional drain.

Here are 5 Easy ways and tips to help you be free and Forgive

1. Decide How Long do you want to be drained?

There are several layers of forgiveness just like peels of an onion, so one can keep a grudge for several lifetimes, some till the end of life, some for many years , others few months, where as there will be some smart people who will get over it in few days and even better ones in few hours/minutes. You can choose the level 🙂

2. Internal Forgiveness

At times due to certain lessons that we want the other person to learn we can chose to forgive within few minutes internally and release the anger from heart but maintain a distance in our day to day life. Based on the kind of mistake the other person has committed we can decide whether the forgiveness will be external or internal.

Internal forgiveness means that you will not harbor any negativity towards the other person and bless for his/her soul to evolve and mature.

BASED ON THE TEACHINGS OF MASTER CHOA KOK SUI, MODERN FOUNDER OF PRANIC HEALING AND ARHATIC YOGA
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“Inner forgiveness gives you the ability to grow, to be free,
and it also gives you the opportunity to generate positive
karma.Inner forgiveness is therapeutic. If you do not forgive
you cannot be internally healed. Forgiving heals the soul.”

– Grand Master Choa Kok Sui

3. External Forgiveness

For some people, inner forgiveness is enough. For others, the next layer of forgiveness is external forgiveness: choosing to move on and create a healthier relationship with the person who has hurt you. This level of forgiveness usually can only be achieved after inner forgiveness, and only if you decide to continue a relationship of some sort with that person. It is not as necessary as doing the work for inner forgiveness. Sometimes when we are able to let go of past hurts and traumas we are able to create better relationships.

4. Forgiveness Prayer

Forgiveness is not easy 🙂 I know it out of experience so we need to ask for the blessings for the ability and willingness to forgive and release. The understanding that we all are evolving and making mistakes, is a part of the evolution process will help in releasing our resistance to forgive. The How could he/she questions get answered.

Here is a short prayer that I use by Master Choa it really helps me and I am sure it will help you:

SAY,
“LORD, THANK YOU FOR BLESSING ME WITH THE ABILITY TO FORGIVE DEEPLY AND LET GO.
THANK YOU FOR BLESSING ME WITH A GENEROUS HEART and FORGIVING HEART”

YOU MAY REPEAT THIS MANY TIMES DURING THE DAY THE DAY FOR ADDITIONAL HELP.

UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS IN FORGIVING THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO RELEASE AND LET GO

VISUALIZE THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU; FOLD YOUR HANDS IN NAMASTE POSE
SILENTLY SAY,

ATMA, NAMASTE.
I THE SOUL SALUTE THE DIVINITY IN YOU.
I THE SOUL RECOGNIZE THE DIVINE SPARK IN YOU.
WE ARE ALL CHILDREN OF GOD.
WE ARE ALL EVOLVING.
WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES.
I FORGIVE YOU FOR ALL THE PAIN YOU HAVE GIVEN ME.
I NOW RELEASE YOU DEEPLY AND COMPLETELY ON ALL LEVELS.
GO IN PEACE.
MAY GOD’S PEACE
BE WITH ME
MAY GOD’S PEACE BE WITH YOU.
OM SHANTIH SHANTIH SHANTIH* OM

I FORGIVE MYSELF TOO, FOR ALL MY ERRORS, PAST MISTAKES AND OMISSIONS.
I NOW LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES. I RELEASE THE PAST.

PEACE TO ME.
AND TO EVERYONE CONNECTED WITH ME.
OM SHANTIH SHANTIH SHANTIH OM.

THE MEANING OF SHANTIH IS ACTUALLY ‘PEACE THAT IS BEYOND UNDERSTANDING’
WHEN YOU BLESS OTHERS WITH THAT, THAT IS WHAT YOU GET. BLESS THE UNIVERSE WITH IT, AND IT MULTIPLIES AND RETURNS TO YOU.

IMAGINE THAT THE OTHER PERSON IS OR WALKING AWAY FROM YOU.

PERSONAL NOTE.. WHAT WE ARE RELEASING IS THE HUGE LOAD OF ANGER AND RESENTMENT WE ARE CARRYING, WHICH IS HARMING OUR LIVES. THE OTHER PERSON IS LIVING RENT-FREE IN OUR MINDS.RELEASE THEM AND MAKE SPACE FOR SOMEONE WHO WOULD PAY RENT —-(PAY IN LOVE AND AFFECTION).

THIS EXERCISE IS VERY HELPFUL IN HELPING PEOPLE GET HEALED OF SERIOUS AND CHRONIC AILMENTS, FINANCIAL BLOCKAGES, RELATIONSHIP BLOCKAGES, PROGRESS BLOCKAGES. THE KEY IS TO DO THIS REGULARLY FOR SOME PERIOD OF TIME, AND TO DO IT SINCERELY, WITH YOUR HEART IN IT.

5 Play and Pray Forgiveness

Master Stephen Co a senior disciple of Master Choa has made forgiveness even simpler just play this video and follow instructions this will help you in cutting your cords and achieving internal peace.

Forgiveness Prayer Video

“God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites so that you will have two wings to fly, not one” ― Rumi, The Essential Rumi

Lots of Love – Sargam

Picture courtesy Internet/ Forgiveness Video Pranichealing.com and Forgiveness Prayer MCKS pranamiracles healing blog

Feb5

Life is all about the Choices You Make

Posted on February 5, 2013 by Sargam Mishra

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“Life is all about the choices we make “

I am sure we all have heard it many a times ???So have I but this is a very profound statement. In life when you have made a decision causing sad repercussions and after effects that are beyond our control we end up looking for people and situations to use as a reason.

Let me take an example from a recent case of emotional infidelity between a couple. During a relationship counselling I was speaking to the husband and he was explaining that there is a reason why a spouse cheats on his partner. There is always a reason for taking up any step in life. The thing I really enjoy about counselling is that every person has his own philosophy of life 🙂 They will have their own carefully thought logic to every situation in their life. So according to him a partner should be capable enough to hold the attention of the spouse to ensure the marriage is affair proof. This made the husband feel less guilty because according to him it was just a way to find solace and love in his life which he was missing miserably.

To understand a relationship one has to listen to both the parties as every person has a story to tell from their individual vantage point in life. The woman to not be able to provide the required emotional support in marriage she had her own reasons a list of issues with the husband and his family. While speaking to her , I realized that in life there is nothing as right or wrong it is just a perception. Most of the times couples look life from their own perspective their own likes and dislikes, judgement of each other and they make a choice or decision based on it. Today as each one of us is independent we are capable of making our own choices based on our likes and dislikes. Most of our issues in life are based on the inbuilt mechanism of judgement within us due to social and religious programming.

The social systems train you to create strong likes and dislikes about so many things. When you think you are in love with someone, you exaggerate all the good qualities in them. When you hate someone, you exaggerate all the bad qualities in them or invent some. You – as a person, not as a being – are who you are only because of your likes and dislikes. It is your likes and dislikes that determine your personality and distinguish you as a person.Your likes and dislikes are the basis of the falsehood that you have created in the form of your personality. If you stop clinging to them, your personality will vanish ‒ you will become flexible and wonderful.

At any point of time if we base our life decision on what is right instead of being driven by what I like or dislike the decision becomes a conscious choice. This is a big change in our personality; it will not happen in a day but if we make it a part of our day to day life to choose what is right and not base it on our likes and dislikes we can move towards spontaneous right action. This will also narrow down on the choices as well as the internal confusion on what decision to take at any cross road of life.

May your decisions be based upon what truly matters and works, not upon your likes and dislikes. ~ Sadhguru

So when you are standing on the cross roads of making a vital decision in life You can ask these two simple questions

1. What is the right thing for me to do based on the choice I make?

2. Will it give me and the people around me happiness?

These two small questions can help us in a great way. It helps us to ensure that the decisions that we are taking is not based on our judgement. If all life is made with the same life force then who are we to judge each other based on our own likes and dislikes. Our belief and ideology how a person should be is based on our social and physical conditioning and it is different for each one of us. If we keep imposing our own likes and dislikes over people we are trying to take away their individual unique self and instead trying to make our own clones.

If one makes the right choice, the right things will happen. If one makes the wrong choice, wrong things will happen. It is a very fair and just existence on this planet. If pain, suffering or misery happens to you, it is not time to look around. This is always the problem: If you are miserable, you think somebody else needs to be fixed. No. If you are miserable, what you call as “myself” needs to be fixed, not someone else.

The second question that we ask is will it bring happiness to me and to people around me? Why is it important to think about other’s happiness when the decision is related to me? As a conscious human we understand that the universe works on the “Law of Oneness” even though we want to assume we are alone and can live in a silo this is not how things are in the universe.It is a magnificent creation of God and so everything that we think we are doing to ourself impacts people around us vice versa. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction it is a universal law. It can also be called the “Law of Karma” what I do to others I do to myself.

Life is a gift if each one of us can live life consciously we can create a beautiful world. Today there is immense suffering in the world because each one of us is suffering internally. This internal suffering has to be dealt by doing what is right not for our sake but for the sake of the entire humanity. Each smiling and happy person is contributing to happier planet/world.

Lots of love to all of you

Sargam ♥ ♥